How to stay out of therapy during the Holidays, part 2

Well, depending on how this morning went, this entry could have gone two distinct ways.  I had procedures done at the dentist and was supposed to have taken "sleepy pills" for the appointment.  My ride home fell through and so I was forced to endure the appointment cold turkey.  Well, not exactly... I still had my Nitrous Oxide gas cranked all the way up.  That's cold turkey to me....anything less and I'd start a meth habit just to get rid of my teeth alltogether.  Even with the laughing gas, my buns still levitate about 6 inches above the chair from clinching it so hard.  (I wonder if that burns calories?)

Okay, so, no hard drugs which means I am writing with a clear mind.  A bit fired up from having someone hit every major nerve that my teeth connect to, but clear nonetheless.

And, ready to kick off the holiday season...there is something about ordering the annual Christmas Card that seems to get me over the hump.  It is the biggest "over thought" project I create for myself each and every year.  It doesn't help that after the first year of trying a "folded, customized" photo card, that my husband concluded we could never go back to the simple glossy, 1-sided card.  So every year, it takes me about 3 weeks to collect all of the photos that are actually "sharable," will color-coordinate with the card, fit in the crop "zones" and not set us back an entire mortgage payment.  It only took 2 glasses of wine last night and voila'....hitting "confirm order" never felt so good.

(I am, however, willing to bet a mortgage payment that when one of my sons gets a bit older, he will consider taking me to court for not gaining permission to duplicate and distribute his image on one particular photo.)

Tee hee hee....

So where did we leave off from earlier in the week?  Oh, and thank you to all of you who shared the post on your wall and with friends... even my Hubby commented that he got caught chuckling at the office while reading the last one... I must have been nipping off the egg nog.  Which, by the way, I am either going to have to stop carb and fat loading when it rains or move to a different climate because HELLO... I can polish off a tube of Ritz Crackers faster than you can read Chicka Chicka Boom Boom  to your kiddo.  Yeesh.

If you didn't read my last post, click HERE (shameless plug, I know.)
So let's dig right back in....

RULE#4
What to do about the Ugly Sweater Party

I don't know who invented this occasion...but now that we are of post-college age, I would equate the party to as much pain as having to dance to the song "Stairway to Heaven"with the WRONG guy.  Argggh...agony!

Chances are, if you are hip, you'll probably get invited to an ugly sweater party.  I'm not hip, apparently, because I haven't had to go to one but I still have an opinion about them...and can help you avoid the therapist.  Just RSVP "no" and go out to dinner.  If you have to go, then just buy a red or green sweater and look more like "Frasier" or "Niles" as opposed to your Great Grandma Sue.  Oh...don't you snort at me and call me the grinch... because when that evening is done and the moth-infested sweater is in the dumpster, the pictures from that evening will live on forever; just like your middle-school perm or mullet.  And let's just all admit that we'd rather vomit on someone prominent than be forced to look at those photos again.  So while the party looks all "fun and games," it will make its way to the internet... which means your ability to interview, adopt a child, run for office or supervise anyone could potentially go down the drain.... all because of the bad rudolph sweater w/ the red pom-pom for his nose.  Not good.

RULE#5
Cookie exchanges are heavenly, ingenious and productive... so lets keep them that way, shall we?  I know, the thought of baking 236 dozen cookies is daunting, but when you come home with so many different varieties to sample and enjoy, not only does your family appreciate it, but you come off looking like a "genius!!!!"  (And, if you circle back to my post from yesterday, you also have a great gift idea for all of those providers who you feel compelled (aka pressured) to give something to.

So what is the rule?  STAY IN YOUR LANE... KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE GOAL.... DON'T USE US POOR SOULS AS YOUR FOCUS GROUP!

What do I mean?

A cookie exchange is not where you test things out... experiment..or stretch beyond your capacity.  It is like trying to serve mashed cauliflower at Thanksgiving Dinner; like I mentioned before... don't mess with a traditional meal to try something new.  ( Instead try it on a Tuesday where you can just as easily order pizza if your family plans mutiny over your vegetarian "looks like meatloaf but it's NOT' dinner.)  The same with Holiday cookies.  I don't care if the cookie looks phenomenal in your copy of Bon Apetit... if that wasn't you in their test kitchen... get out!  Personally, baking 236 dozen cookies (okay, I''m being dramatic) let's see...baking 8 dozen cookies while taming 3 boys is a daunting enough; I am hopeful that my investment  in the exchange process will reap a bounty of delicious cookies that will keep my boys, husband and guests delighted for weeks to come.

What I do not suggest, for the love of those around you...is to try and give us:

• Anything you haven't already tried yourself
• Anything you haven't already MADE yourself
• Anything the dog will not even nibble on if you were to drop one on the floor
• Anything that "looks awful but trust me, tastes really, really good"
• Anything that contains the word "carob, nougat or flaxseed."  That, my friends, is for January 1st.

While I am being totally offensive and polarizing, let me just add that I would hope while you avoid all of these things that you don't upstage the rest of us poor souls either.  Martha Stewart need not mistaken your cookie for hers.  I don't need to come home and show my husband your delectable dough "artistry" which will only make him long for full-fat versions of home cooking, a wife with larger breasts and other impossible situations.  Enough Said.

RULE#6... My last...

Rules of Engagement for finding your Christmas Tree

Ahhh, the smell of fresh fir... nothing smells of Christmas more than the aromatic essence of a freshly cut Christmas tree.  Errrrrrhhhh.... stop the Vinyl..... lets get real.

Fact: I am a proud supporter of live Christmas Trees.  I am sure somewhere out in internet land, someone just read this and is going to send me something from a ".org" about preserving the earth.  But where I come from, I could cut about 36 Christmas trees in the back of my yard so I'm not particularly concerned.  Besides, those re-planting initiatives operate like a machine up here in Washington.  

So, if you paid $299-2999 for a fake tree some time ago, that's cool...I'm not even talking to you right now.  It is for all of us who still insist on getting a live tree.  Doesn't it sound so romantic???  So fun??? So many pictures for the scrapbook?  It will be the memories your children remember so fondly as they start their own families and begin joining you and your spouse for years to come.

Let me break down the Turnley family experience... not always, but most years since we've had kiddos:

1.  Drive 30-80 minutes to find the perfect tree farm... needs to be Quaint, with a big gift shop, Hot Cocoa and maybe even a train ride to be legit.

2.  Spend 45-90 minutes traipsing around 20+ acres of farm looking for just the perfect tree for your home.  In that time frame, you will have lost your child 3-5 times, lost your spouse 2-4 times, be that family that is calling out for each other, ruining the quiet merriment of other delusional families.  Be reunited as a family only to lose track of where your perfect tree was.  When you finally find it, you see some "perfect" family sawing it down.  When you have found the "B plan" tree, which you secretly pity because it isn't as great as the "perfect" tree that was "stolen" by the other thieving family you then begin to saw down your tree.  Oh yeah, that is where the memories kick into full gear.  Ten minutes later you are barely speaking to your spouse, you have pitch in your hair, needles down your undergarments AND you've lost your kids....again...

3.  You then drag your tree 562 yards to the baler... in silence.  You are covered in dirt and mud.... you are frozen.  Your kid have lost their minds, they are hungry and need to pee.  

4.  You fork over $3 for a cookie, $3 for a luke warm styrofoam cup of watered down hot cocoa and then comes the fun part... paying for the tree.

5.  $100 later you are now working, in silence mind you, with your spouse to attach the tree to the top of the car.  Fifteen minutes later, the tree is sideways on top of the roof, bobbling in the air drafts while your child is looking like a war refugee from the melted candy cane and hot cocoa all over their face. You realize 10 miles down the road that you've lost both your own and your children's mittens but don't turn back because you just want to get home and get away from everybody for a few minutes.  To top it off, the reality is you'll be sawing that tree trunk again because you picked out a 11-foot tree for your 8-foot ceilings.  The open sky is a bugger for size proportion!

Memories!!!!!

My solution?  Go to the tree farm with a boatload of snacks.  Withhold ALL caloric intake from your children until you have purchased your ornament, posed for pictures or sat on Santa's lap.  Buy your $3 bake sale brownie and load everyone back in the car.  So far, you've probably spent under $12 and everyone can still feel their toes.  Drive to your local Home Depot or major grocery retailer; while you are on the road, listen to jolly Christmas music and sing in the car... because everyone is still happy.  

Everyone pile out to the tree lot at your local retailer and walk the 3 aisles of trees.  Oh sure, you'll hold a few up and lose your kids but a store associate will just call their name on the intercom system.  Need to pee?  No problem, warm restrooms are located at the back of the store!  Go ahead and argue over a few trees... if you want to prolong the process but in past years, we can get in and out (without getting our tree stolen) in about 15 minutes top.  Swing through McDonalds or heck, treat your family to Panera... chances are you only plucked down $50 for that Home Depot tree!

Everyone's happy... no melt-downs... you can feel all your body parts.... and you can still take great Christmas photos... if you crop out the big orange letters in the background.

-----

Well, that is a wrap folks... I hope you find these entries nothing more than amusing.  While I KNOW I have typed some things that go through my readers heads... please don't mistaken my rants for a Bah- Humbug attitude.  I LOVE this time of year... despite the nasty people who have forgotten the manners in the parking lots around town, and the Atheists who are busying suing everyone to get everything from green trees to Charlie Brown taken out of the holiday mix... I believe its the most "wonderful time of the year."  Without Jesus... we'd just be sitting around wondering why there are oranges in our socks on December 25th.

When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. -Matthew 2:10

God Bless!

How to stay out of therapy during the Holidays

WARNING: THIS POST IS FULL OF HUMOR, SARCASM AND WIT... DO NOT ATTEMPT TO READ IF YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD, CONDESCENDING MOOD, OR JUDGMENTAL MOOD... YOU WILL FIND THIS IRRITATING AND SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE HATING ME.

Okay, you've been duly warned....

In my last post I wrote about the holiday season and how nutty it can get...if we let it.  Oh, sure, you can put all the stop gaps into place to make sure you don't get off the rails:

"I am only going to get one gift per person"
"We are not sending out Holiday cards this year"
"I'm going to get all my shopping done by October 15th."

Uh yeah, how did all of that go over?  Good luck on the "one gift" idea... people stop inviting you to things when you don't send out cards and for those of you that tried to get it done by October 15th, how's that working for you?  Too bad half the people you shopped for either went out and bought it themselves since then or changed their minds about what they wanted...

(told you this was going to be obnoxious!)

Because in reality, friends, the holidays are just not that simple.  You can try to swim upstream all you want...and there are some of you reading this who are ready to sign me up for magazines like "Real Simple" or even better, "Oprah" who will probably encourage me to meditate on simplicity.  If I would just read those, everything would be "chill," right?

Yeah, okay, Big O, let me get into my zen room and light some candles... then about 32 seconds later I'll hear a chant that sounds like "ooohhhmmmmm" which is just short for "MMMMOOOOOHHHHHHMMMMM," and then 3 kids will be knocking on my zen room (aka toilet stall in my Bathroom.)  When I finally swing the door open and they see the candles, they'll fight over who is going to blow them out.  When they blow the candles out that will probably send hot wax splattering onto the commode, the walls behind and if I'm lucky, just one of my body parts.  Chances are, one of my kids will have blown more than one candle out, thereby leaving one my children throwing down the "unsportsmanlike conduct" penalty flag and I'll have to re-light the candle so that "little orphan annie" who missed out on the candle experience the first time around, can have their own shot at it.  Which will, of course, result in more flying candle wax and now enough smoke to possible set off the smoke detector in my bedroom.

Zen..... right......

So I propose that we just stick to some basic rules to navigate the next few weeks.  ((And, of COURSE, keep our eyes on the prize, our Savior, Jesus...who is probably rolling around on Heaven's floor, holding his perfectly chiseled set of abs (because there is no fat in Heaven) and cracking up at how obnoxious we've become at celebrating his birthday season!))  Here are my top 3 for today and I'll give you a few more on Thursday....

Rule #1:
Don't skimp or go Rogue on the white elephant exchange gift.  Candles, folks, candles...and don't go cheap on those... they leave rings in the jars and smoke up your walls.  March on down to BB&B with your $5 coupon and get a small Yankee Candle.  Done.  Enough said.  Even better, don't even have a white elephant exchange at your Christmas party.  It's like forcing all of your close friends to attend your garage sale.  Really?  We have to choose between our friendship and that God-awful homemade ceramic mug you picked up at the Seniors Craft Bazaar?  And since I'll choose your friendship, please don't make me take that crap home...I'll conveniently hide it behind the extra roll of toilet paper in your powder room cupboard.  Promise.

Rule #2:
Get the same stinkin' gift for every "don't have to but feel like I"m supposed to" recipient.  You know that list... it starts small; perhaps its just your children's teachers but after you've listened to your bus-stop moms crone on and you sucked yourself into Pinterest (aka Anakin's dark side...The Force...that site freaks me out!) then you realize you have to get gifts for:

• Postman
• Cleaners, Lawn Service, Handyman and any other regular Joes you support in your home
• Garbageman
• Recycling Dude
• Lets not forget our Yard Waste/Compost collector!
• Milkman
• Secretaries at the School
• Bus Driver (make sure your morning and afternoon drivers aren't 2 different people!)
• Music Lesson Provider person

Don't THINK I didn't make this list up... up in the burbs... this list is REAL!  Now some of you OCD, Martha-esque crafty types I hate because secretly I wish I was like you... you have all these great things wrapped up in "rustic" cardboard boxes with recycled twine and topped off with a homemade bow & craft-punched tag.  Dude, I'd deliver your friggin' milk if I could get myself one of those, but in reality, the 98% rest of us are STRESSED OUT by your elaborate packaging for all these people and it makes us look like idiots who sit around eating BonBons and watching the USA network all day.  So lets all agree to just head out to our local drug store, load up on 14 boxes of Almond Roca and stick them on top of whatever receptacle our service-person takes care of.  Come Wednesday, December 19th you're going to see 3 boxes on top of my garbage/recycling/yardwaste cans, one on top of my Mailbox, my Piano, and so on.  In reality, they can re-gift those frozen Almond Roca's at THEIR White Elephant Christmas party but I can wipe my hands clean and say "check!"

Rule#3:

Go buy 6 bottles of the same kind of Wine, or some "Foofie, Drivable" beverage in case your peeps don't drink.  (Better yet, for those of you in that category, just buy 6 more boxes of Almond Roca!)  And no, this post is not sponsored by Almond Roca but seriously, who doesn't LOVE those nuggets of goodness??? I've had 3 already and it's not even 11am!

Chances are, you'l get invited to a few events in the coming weeks.  You won't want to show up empty handed but who has time to run around and get creative when you've already logged 22 hours trying to get a babysitter who isn't already working that night, playing a sport that night, going to a church event  or learning her 3 instruments or 4 languages so she can get into college?

Once you've nailed down a sitter you have to find an outfit, plan for your kids dinner and then creatively schedule the day so you have time to shave BOTH legs prior to your event.  So, just stock up on wine prior to Thanksgiving and keep a stash out in the garage.  On your way out to the event just grab a bottle and voila, thrust it at them when you arrive and you're a hero!

And for the Love of Jesus, please don't go Rogue here, either.  Stick with the common grapes... this is not the time to try some crazy grape from some crazy region.  Stick with good 'ol CA and WA varieties.  Doing any different would be like trying to sneak in mashed cauliflower instead of mashed potatoes during your Thanksgiving meal.  Just say No.  Being on the receiving side of this argument, I can assure you.. those random bottles of wine that you think give you street cred as a wine connosuier... do NOT.  The bottles end up sitting in storage because I don't know what they are, if they are good or not, and I can't risk opening the bottle when I have company over.  Chances are, it will flavor my stew in February.  So... once again... I repeat... stick with CA and WA... if you can't pronounce the grape, don't buy it!

There you have it folks... stay tuned on Thursday for advice on Cookie Exchanges, visiting Santa and other Christmas-time outing advice!

Stay Sane... keep them eyes on Jesus.  :)  (And the road if you are reading this in your car.)

Who's in my face?

Just a quick little blurb for today... if I were to catch you up to speed on the Family events... my "not so much napping toddler" would probably have an accident in his pants for the 3rd time today... my older two sons would carry on about how I'm always late to the bus stop and my middle son, would, for sure, drag up the old sob story about how he would like a "new" family and could we please drive him to the orphanage.

Oh no, I can't even MAKE this stuff up... keepin' it real, folks!

So while I am busy being mom of the year, OBVIOUSLY, let me just give you a few thoughts to chew on... and I'll be back in full force tomorrow with a continuance...and of course some laugh/spit-up-able recollections from the past few weeks.

So Who's in your face these days?

Because whatever is in your face, you will focus on...and whatever you focus on, you will make bigger in your life, gravitate towards, and turn it into a reality.  Whether it's good, or bad... it's true.

It is probably harder now, than ever before, to control who is in your face.  You can turn on the TV and have over 233 stations of people "in your face."  You can turn on the radio, surf the internet for a MILLION people who can get in your face.

And when they are in your face, they are taken in by your eyes, your brain and your heart.

I think this holiday season it's pretty important to control who's in our line of vision.
Because it's pretty easy to start looking around and realize instead of joy, you've got:
-stress
-anxiety
-depression
-overwhelmed

Staring you down, in your grill, grabbing your attention.

Want to know the easiest solution for clearing that clutter out?

Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus.

Yep...really, it's that easy.

You see, when you fix your eyes on the one who has redeemed you, who calls you his Beloved, who is head over heels, absolutely, never-failing, unconditionally in love with you... things start to shift into their place and life gets some perspective.  Remember, you'll gravitate towards what you focus on, right?  So lets keep our eyes steadily focused on Jesus and let the rest fade away.  Our problems get smaller, HE gets bigger and we begin moving towards peace and joy, not all the other "have to do's" that are SOOOOOOO easy to get us bogged down during the season.

And if that wasn't a good enough reason, then how about...

It's His Birthday we're celebrating this season anyway... let him be the birthday boy and get the attention for awhile.   :)

Until tomorrow....  and PS- I was interrupted in the middle of this entry by my youngest.... because he wet his pants....again....

Sharing what you have this holiday season

I know you haven't heard from me in over a week.  Sorry.   I've been milling around a lot of junk up in the head.  Now junk can be good...one man's garbage is another man's treasure...right?  :)  I also took a couple of days off to prepare a talk about networking for a FABULOUS group of women (check us out on FB Influential Women to get connected) But seriously, I needed to "sift through the rocks and see what was gold."  So what you have below is more of a "dim sum" meal more than anything... a menu to read through and pick what speaks to you most today.  I pray that this post will contain one small nugget that will satisfy your heart and soul!

I don't know about you.... but it seems like the end of Fall seems to run right into the Holiday season like a charging bull.  Halloween is one of those holidays that just seems to be "way off in the distance" and then wha-bam...its upon you like a frenzy of awakened cave bats!  You finally toss out the pumpkin the day before you buy a turkey... you give thanks and then set your alarm to beat out every other joe for a Black Friday deal.  (Irony anyone?) But it's not just the holidays that start to come at you fast and furious, because let's face it, the holiday season is no surprise to us.... it is all of those little "extras" that seem to increase every year:

• End of the sport season's coach gifts, trophies, awards and party celebrations...cha-ching.
• Everybody is hosting a food drive.. football teams, girl-scouts, grocery stores, pre-school... every event needs a couple of cans of food... cha-ching.
• Holiday "giving trees" start to pop up everywhere.... and I mean everywhere!  Adopt a family, grab a gift card, fulfill a wish.... cha-ching.
• Hostess gifts, teacher gifts, mailman gifts, front-office gifts, even milk-man gifts??... cha-ching.
• Oh, and did I mention St. Nicholas still needs to visit your own house?

No wonder some of us have such a "keep it" mentality with our finances and possessions... it's like our purses are continually subject to swiping by so many different causes and occasions!  I know one family who just shelled out nearly $200 at the end of the football season by time they were done with tournament fees, trophies, DVD's, coach gifts and an end-of-the-year celebration.  Shut the front door, folks... we are headed for a tail spin!  

Now, if I can just call everyone out... I know what you might be thinking... choose one or as many apply to your head right now....

1. Uh.... nobody said you have to partake in all of those things...that is CRAZY!
2. Crickey you cheapskate... all of these things are important and for good causes..cough up some dough!
3. Ummmm...aren't you the one always spouting "We are blessed to be a blessing???"  
4. I totally agree with you... I can't catch a breath from all the money I'm doling out!

What to do...what to do...what to do.....

READ.

READ ACTS 2:44-2:47.  (Pssst...that is in your bible... or even quicker...click here)

And since half of you didn't... here it is for you anyway...

"And all the people met together in one place and shared everything they had.  They sold their property (extra stuff they don't use) and possessions and shared the money with those in need.  They worshipped together in the Temple each day (practical adaptation is to be giving thanks for all you DO have), met in homes for the Lord's supper (have some friends over!) and shared their meals with great joy and sincere hearts... ALL the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people......"  (emphasis and additional commentary mine.)

Okay... I want to just highlight 2 parts that really hit me over the head this morning...and I've read this passage many times before; quite honestly I didn't let much of it sink in because I thought to myself, "Oh Erin... let's skim over this because I don't want to expose a part of my heart and open up the door for God to say, 'ERIN, SELL EVERYTHING YOU OWN AND LIVE IN A BOX, DRESSED IN BURLAP SO THAT EVERYONE ELSE CAN ENJOY A HOME, AND CLOTHES, AND HAVE THEIR NEEDS MET.'"

I mean, burlap just makes me look so pale.  :)

Seriously, I just had always been scared that what God was trying to say is that I should give away everything because there are others in need.  What took me awhile to re-learn is that God wants to bless us (because lets face it, living in a box will not demonstrate that we have Christ in us)..but he also calls us to take care of those who cannot take care of themselves.  And here is where it gets tricky.... we are not in that judge's seat to decide who got themselves into that space because of bad choices or laziness...or who is truly in need.

Okay.. so my second realization of that passage is this...when God writes "share everything they had," he's not just talking about material possessions... cars, boats, coats, cashola, toys, computers... you know, all the stuff that you can't fit in your coffin or take up to heaven... (ahhh, convicting, eh?)  What God is ALSO including here is the God-given talents and abilities he's equipped you with.  Hold on, I'm going to write that again because if you don't get this, you're going to stress yourself out this Holiday season....

Sharing what you have includes your God-given talents and abilities he created inside of you.

Great news!  This means that not only do you have really cool things that just come naturally to you, but you are serving people and meeting needs when you donate your talents!  For some of us, it is hosting people.  Others can create an amazing photo-book or poster for our sports teams to avoid costly trophies and medals that you just end up dusting!  Some make a scrumptious pot of soup for a family who has lost their job or is recovering from surgery.  Others can "organize" or "create" a helping opportunity and are good at networking or recruiting a group to get the job done.  Maybe you are super good at couponing... so you can donate $100 worth of food to a food drive for $20!  

So here's our takeaway from today's dim-sum collection of food (hopefully wisdom):

1. We all have something we can give.  Some of us can write big checks and we should... especially when we realize that God has gifted some of us with finances so that we can equip others with our money.  Let's face it...sometimes it truly takes plain old cash to ship stuff around the world, fill a delivery truck with gas, pay the heat at a shelter, etc.
2. But it doesn't stop with big checks... little checks work well too.  $5 makes a huge difference because the collective power of 100 of us doing that suddenly creates $500 for an organization.  We have to stop thinking that "my $5" doesn't matter.... the bible says that the woman who gave her 2 mites was just as important... because she gave what she could.  Your $5 could be the last $5 they need to purchase an additional ______.
3. Everyone has something in their home they don't need.  Is it an extra blanket?  That coat that was "so expensive" you just can't bear to part with it but lets face it, you haven't worn it in 6 years?  (As my mom would say, "honey, it's not coming back in style.")  Donate it.  Craig's List something for goodness sake, and donate the money or use the $$ to buy all those 1/2 off Old Navy coats on sale and then donate those!
4. Use your talents and give this year... organize a coat or blanket drive in your neighborhood... I find a personal "ask" goes a long way and yields higher results.  Or offer to collect everyone's $5 at the bus stop or the lunchroom at your office and go fulfill a couple of items on the giving tree for your group.  Go sign up to sort items at a food bank.  Donate some hand-made Christmas tags or cards to an organization so they can distribute them to their program participants.
5. Stop the cash-cow madness and donate in someone's name this year.  When we realized as a family that we were just "buying to buy" for our relatives, we started donating to World Vision in family member's names.  While I am sure teachers and coaches love some of their Christma gift "treasures", I know we have received many thanks for donating to a local cause in their name as well.

In the end... we all have a place in our heart that bleeds for the less fortunate.  I am not in the position to judge how they got there, but I am in the position to give.  The coolest part about it...is that I cannot out-give my God.  When I give out of a sincere heart (and not out of guilt or coercion) then I find that I am truly blessed with warm fuzzies just as much, if not more, than the person who receives it!  It is as if the deepest part of my soul gets filled with that warmth that we can only find when we stop fulfilling our own desires and take our time and resources to fulfill someone else's.

So hey.... what's one great idea you have to take care of the less fortunate?  Please share it by posting a comment!- I know it takes just a minute to register to be able to post but once you do, take a second to "subscribe" so you can get new blog posts right in your inbox... that way you'll never miss one!  Fellow readers want to hear your brilliant ideas!

Why you should never miss an opportunity to High-5 a cow

Yes, I realize I already have typed something that's not even a real word...but you aren't reading for literary enjoyment so allow me to throw some slang into my thoughts.... because of course that is how my brain thinks most of the time.

Ahhhh... Halloween... we all survived again, didn't we?  I was blown away to hear that Halloween is America's second highest retail generating holiday after Christmas.  I don't really know what I would have guessed in its place... I know we parents aren't exactly running around at Thanksgiving time, scrambling for outdoor Pilgrim decorations but I suppose I was just surprised that its grown into such a revenue monster.  (Because personally, what I just LOVE about the holiday is the irony of spending $30 on candy that I give out in 2-3 bit parcels to kids and then it just comes back to me in the form of assortment when my kids dump out their containers.  Then, we feel a certain sense of responsibility to not let our kids eat all of that so we toss it, take it to the dentist, eat it between now and Christmas and then wonder why we gained Holiday weight, etc.

Soooooo logical... and fiscally responsible...uh, NOT!

Let us not forget about the countless hours of searching for a Halloween costume because let's face it, kids change their mind on what they want to be at least 4 times before the big night. They get to wear it for 45 minutes at school and another 2 hours on Halloween.  You end up with a pile of synthetic material and plastic accessories that you hope will add hours of dress-up entertainment for your children but quickly realize you are delusional in thinking you will get that much use out of the costume.  Worse yet, you assume that each of your children will want to be what their older sibling was last year.  You stomp your foot and say, "not next year... we won't sign up for the same goat rodeo!"

....but then.... just like childbirth... time marches on and you forget the insanity of it all until October 1st of next year....and you do it all again.....

Hmmm... I sense a bit of sarcasm in my tone here...but it really is so silly!!!!  My kids were all so bummed out because it wasn't Halloween today.  "Why?" I asked.  I think their only audible answer was because they like collecting the candy.  The funny thing is, they won't even finish it all before it goes stale because I will police its intake for the next 2 months and I've scared the crap out of them with stories about kids who throw up from eating too much candy and the chocolate that comes up and out through the nose.  The pure allure of that much sugar massed together truly loses its sexiness in about 2 months from now.  I actually like how it just butts right up next to the Holiday season because its almost like by January...they are ASKING for carrot sticks!

This was not even my topic for this post. (Shocking, I am sure.) I know you parents have some really good ideas for recycling costumes.  I am sure if I had my act together and had set an alarm on my phone for September 1st I would have spent 7 hours researching costume swaps in the area.  There are even parents who have children who don't like candy so there is no problem giving it all away... or your kids actually go out and collect food items instead of candy to give to the food banks.  I am so thankful for all of you bucking the trend!

Here's what else happens on Halloween that bucks the system...and I LOVE it.

Community.

Right or wrong about whatever the holiday was originally created for...irregardless of how you celebrate it... we come together.  In unity.  Without judgement.

Proof?  Check out Facebook.   It is single-handedly one of the biggest nights that we post pictures of either our pumpkins or our own lil' pumpkins.  And talk about the "likes" we get...its almost as if you can't scroll through FB without "liking" everyones picture of their kids in costume without being the biggest jerk in the world!

Here's what else I love...the unity of the children.  Oh sure, there is the usual pecking-order process of "trick or treating groups.  No matter what plans are made on the bus ride home.. kids are pretty unscathed because even the best laid plans get thrown out the window and everyone ends up moving from house to house in one big flock.  The goal here, people, is candy... and lots of it.  Unity.  In the name of low-quality sugar.  Unity.

And I'll take it.  Last night was a night in which it didn't matter what school you went to, what age you were or what you were dressed up like.  You all got a piece of candy.  (Well, except those who came to my door dressed as WSU Cougs... I had dictionaries for them.)  KIDDING!

My favorite example of this was in my youngest.  I just assumed he was going to be a Fireman because that was the costume I still had from the other kids.  October 25th rolls around and he announces he is going to be a ghost.  That was about 14 hours before I was catching a flight for the weekend so my best shot was I was to grab the kid a sheet, cut some holes and call it a day.

Here's the best part of having a 3-year old....they are like dogs.  I pulled out the fireman costume one last time on Halloween afternoon to try and persuade him (because of course I still didn't have a sheet) and while he said no to the fireman (sorry public servants... I DO thank you for your hard work) he did spy a white pair of pants with black spots on them in the drawer.  He ran over, pulled it out and exclaimed, "OOOH...I want to be a cow!"  Praise God for not having enough time to junk out the costume bin.  Bright-shiny-object (black and white costume) combined with a little 3 year old brain that doesn't remember being a cow LAST year and voila... costume debacle over!

 When he was ready to come in for the night after a hefty return on trick-or-treating, he hung out on the porch with me to show me his stash of kiddy crack... I mean...candy.  By this point there were large groups of older kids out or on their way to different houses for parties.  The first group of 15 or so passed by our house without coming up for candy.  I looked back and there was Evan, standing eagerly next to the bowl of candy waiting to pass it out to the kids.  Of course, to avoid heartbreak, like every good mom, I shouted out to the group of teenagers and risked the HUGE probability I would look like an idiot to say,

"HEY!  DON'T FORGET TO STOP AND SEE THE COW!"

Oh yes... yes I did.  But you know what?  That group of High Schoolers stopped...looked...and turned around to come say "Hi" to my little cow.  Most of them didn't take any candy, but came and either shook my son's hand or gave him a High-5.  He was in Heaven...checking out all of the costumes and showing everyone his "swishy tail."

There was no judging..there was no one standing back at the sidewalk, refusing to get in on the "hamming it up with a 3 year old."  No one was too cool for that... no one did the "I don't feel like participating.  No one pulled the "I don't associate with cows" or wanted to avoid being seen High-fivin' a cow they had never met before.  (Of course I expected his babysitters to stop by and give a hug or lavish praise on him... after all, they know where their bread is buttered...but these were complete strangers on their way to a party down the street.)

No judgement.  No cliques.  Just love.

I'd like to think that is how Jesus would be if he were around to celebrate Halloween.  Oh sure, the Pharisees would be having a conniption fit with October 31st... I can just see the bulging veins and imagine the blood pressure.  No doubt the Romans would have put a kibosh on the entire holiday...but... just imagine what Jesus would have done.  Dressed up like the rest of them.... laughed at all the costumes....even the dark & ghoulish ones!  He would have passed out King Size candy bars for sure (and he probably would have only needed to buy 5 of them and yet he would have had enough for the whole hood.)  *** Footnote... you'll need to read the book of Mark, Chapter 6, lines 30-44 if that doesn't make any sense.

Point?  I would love it if every day we stopped to High-5 the cow who's looking for a smile.  Yeah, I know we are all really busy heading to a party and wanting everyone to notice what WE are wearing...but I think there are a lot of cows out there for us to bless...and who's smile will bless US.

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.   -Romans 12:10

I guarantee every high-schooler that made his way up to the front of the crowd to interact with my little cow was blessed by it.

Translate that for the population reading this, the over 55" crowd (that's inches not age people!) who can tie our own shoes... look the bank teller in the eye and really ask how he or she is doing.  Listen for the answer.  Give a dollar to the man who is humble enough to hold a sign up on the street corner.  Suspend the judgment of how he happened to find a magic marker and perfect piece of cardboard and consider instead what point he must be at to risk recognizing those he might know while he holds that sign.  High 5 your toll-booth operator.  Shake it up on the way to your big fancy party and make someone else's day.  We don't need costumes to do that.... because as different as our costumes made us seem to one another...they actually brought us together for a night.

Any "feel good" stories from the night?  Did you use Halloween to make a difference?  Would love to hear your thoughts!