Being married to an English major only highlights this habit. Thankfully, I didn't marry a jerk who points out every time I use a "big juicy word with lots of syllables" every time I do it. Occasionally, however, I don't think he can help himself, or stand it any longer...and in love, he corrects me. He always points out that he would hate for me to do it in a setting where I was speaking in front of a lot of people, etc.; I know that is perfectly true but I also think its probably like a car buff sitting and listening to me try to describe something under the hood of my car. You can only dig your fingernails into your palms for so long. The funny thing is, I don't seem to mind my own irritating habit...but when my son does it, it drives me through the ROOF! Ha! Now I know how my husband must feel.
I am pondering the reasons why I like to use big words. Is it my mom-brain version of sudoku? Perhaps. God only knows I relish my rare conversations with people who use 3-syllable words and stand over 54 inches tall. Is it to stave off brain shrinkage? Yes...but I wonder if I use the words incorrectly then am I really helping the brain stay active? More pondering.
I type all of this as I sit under the beautiful shaded, cedar-planked courtyard of the new hospital in my neighborhood. Free Wi-Fi, a new Starbucks and a courtyard that well, I don't think people know exists quite yet. Bliss. Nobody needed a chocolate milk or slice of Banana Bread at Starbucks (I know your are thinking "oh yeah right, banana bread...you mean CAKE POP?" but at this point in reading my blog do you REALLY think I'm going to start developing some non-transparent characteristics of motherhood? Uh...no.... refreshingly, I prefer to feed my kids sugar at home where it costs far less.) Okay, back to my bliss... no one has told on anyone, no one got soaked by the hose I strictly forbid to be turned on and I don't have to hear "Mooommmmmmm..... I am sooooooooooo borrrrreeeeeddddd" for the 23 time...that hour. (And yes, you are reading it exactly as it is annunciated in my household.)
Hey.. I used a big word in the correct context. Ahhhh.... see how good bliss is for us?
No. Really. It IS.
And that is what I am writing about today. Insanity. A FOUR syllable word for those of you keeping track of "big word" usage (who does that??) and a great theme of my summer vacation thus far. It seems fair to peg quite a few parents summer season as "insane" as well.
Dictionary: "Insane: Extreme foolishness."
Albert Einstein: "Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results."
HA! My summer season has the possibility of being accurately described by both definitions. Anyone relating here?
I was on the phone with my sister the other day and we were trying to figure out why so many moms feel like they are on the verge of losing their minds. Not you? Okay, let me see if I can nail you with any of these:
Fatigued, Overwhelmed,Bored, Unhappy, Absentminded?
I'm not trying to drag you through the mud or into a pit... I just want to make sure I have the audience cue'd up. You don't have to veer off of Facebook pages or even read the Wall Street Journal to see that more and more mommies are drinking more or turning to other vices to cope; prescription drugs or even becoming obsessed with working out. (Uh, hello...conviction for me!!! Uh...the working out one, not the former.)
I want to give you a reason to exhale here...or perhaps save you from hitting the back browser or that tiny little X up in the corner of your screen. It's no wonder we're losing our ever-lovin' minds! Here's why:
1. "Time saving technology" has sucked up any available oxygen for us mommies to breathe and exhale. What do I mean? We have cell phones. We leave them on for emergency purposes but it also means that our phone, our instant messenger, our text or emails can reach us at any given time. Unfortunately, its not like our kids day-camp administrator has some great and different ring to it so we end up being glued to our phone and distracted 123 times an hour.
2. You'll notice I said "day camp' up above. No wonder we are stressed out and our kids are bored silly when they are at home. We've created an entire generation of children who have poorly developed imagination skills. Why? Because we plan out almost every hour of their day. Day camps, night camps, science camps, sports camps, boy scouts, campfire, VBS, art classes and more! Stimulate, articulate, develop, enhance....but whatever you do.... don't let your kid be a kid!!!! Keep 'em busy and they'll stay out of your hair!!!! WRONG! Not only do we take away their ability to have down time (which I know at least one of my kids needs that down time to process) but we leave them with an inability to keep themselves entertained, despite the fact that kids have more toys now than ever before!
3. When we schedule our kids silly, we eat forget that each commitment requires preparation beforehand and post-wrap-up tasks once its over. I have never been more exhausted than on the mornings each of my kids have a morning camp. Big breakfast required. Ice-water filled water bottles; 8 ounces for every hour of camp: check. Sunscreen applied: check. Correct attire: check. Gear labeled and packed: uh-oh...where is gear? I don't know... we were in such a hurry getting in the door from camp yesterday no one remembers where it is... which car did we take to the baseball game? Is it in there? Oh no... it was in Dad's car and he left for the airport. Melt down (what do you expect with so much pressure to remember so many things and not enough sleep?) "Get in the car, we'll figure it out...we're late....we're late....lets go.... eat it in the car.....seriously....let's go!" (Tires squealing out of driveway just about nailing the one neighborhood child who isn't in camp this week.)
Well... you get the idea of how an "activity laden" summer can lead to more stress on us caregivers who are responsible for getting everyone where they need to be. Let's face it... most of our kids took a few months to get the routine of school down to a "non-catastrophe" production... summer vacation is an ever-changing dynamic of outings, camps or new routines that is subject to change on them without warning. As we all know, our offspring are little creatures of habit, and the unannounced changes in routine present challenges they just don't have the skill set to pull off (like ensuring their stinky shin guards make it into the laundry after soccer practice. Good God, those will raise the dead!)
So Jesus helps us, what are we to do?
See, the answer is right above us.
No. Really.
Proverbs 16:9
New King James Version (NKJV)
A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.
I like the message bible as well- I think its the best to communicate in a relatable way. It states: "We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it."
I can give you the practicals for those who like to spend time in the "self-help" aisle of life. Not too worry, I spent plenty of years there myself and still find myself browsing the aisles from time to time. (A little secret.. if it were only up to self-help then the book has already been written, problems would have been solved and it wouldn't take up 15% of a Barnes & Noble store.) Nonetheless, God is a God of practicals and you know, he can't steer a parked car.....
- Turn your cell phone to vibrate if you have all of your kids in the car. If they are in your supervision, you don't need to worry about an emergency phone call. For the love of all that is good in the world (and I"m preaching' to myself as well) let go of the phone...even if for a couple of hours a day!!!!
- Balance out the stimulus in your kids' lives. Seriously! Limit the camps and the excursions- set a consistent day of the week that you can call "lazy day;" stay in pajamas, let them veg out with a little TV and pull out the old toys in the back of the closet. My kids spent 3 hours creating the most marvelous "marble run" track all over our formal dining room table (as if it was being used for anything else!) They actually woke up the next morning and went straight to it for some more fun! (And you won't be so stressed out getting them to and fro!)
- Know your limits. Yesterday afternoon I was wiped out. As in, dizzy, bleary-eyed wiped out. So, I let the kids get a new iPad game and spent 30 minutes in the shade sipping Iced tea and reading a book. Had to fight off the Shoulda, woulda, coulda monster but it truly refreshed me and I was able to regroup for the second half of the day.
Okay, now my turn.
- Press into God... like never before! (Preaching to myself once again!) I know routines are knocked out the window and many of us feel like we are running separate summer camps for each of our children...but sneak in a way to get at LEAST a devotional page absorbed into our brains before we start our day. Put him FIRST. Let's revisit Proverbs 16:9:
We make our plans...he directs our steps. Try reading a devotional...then opening up your calendar and laying it down before God. We have not because we ask not. Ask God to help us with the scheduling...to make sure we are efficient an on-time with the crazy demands we have placed on ourselves. Reflect on your remaining summertime calendar- is there anything that should be removed? Added? God will let you know, its that little tug at your heart. Ask for a fresh perspective or creative ideas to get you through those boredom spells or "need to be two places at the same exact time" situations you put yourself through. I love chucking things, I mean, "laying" things at the cross when I talk to God because then I feel like the burden is off me, on Him. I'm thinking if the world is his footstool then his shoulders can press a heck of a lot more weight than me!
Last but not least (and I realize this is not the best formatted blog entry I've ever posted but I'm sure you also realize its been FIVE WEEKS since my last post and I'm just about out of time just to squeeze this one out!!!)
Okay, last but not least..... get a sitter.
I am THE WORST on this one because I justify my outing to see if its sitter worthy.... I am so cheap in that way!!! I was proud of myself when I finally got a regular Thursday afternoon sitter but then realized I was feeling guilty if I wasn't busy getting errands done, setting doctor appointments, hair appointments, etc during that time. WHO CARES!!! Walk away from the children and exhale. Breathe. Use big words. Browse a store. Go to the library and avoid the puppet theatre and board books. Go for a run, a walk... sit under a tree and fall asleep. Hey, hey...the average per hour fee for a sitter is much lower than a therapist... (can I get an Amen?)
Our mothers and grandmothers did not have children so that one day we could run around in our minivans and SUV's with a cell phone glued to our ear and the other hand dispensing snack-sized rice cakes while driving down side roads at 47 miles an hour to be on time to soccer camp so our child could play select club ball at age 9 so they could play on the High School Varsity team as a Sophomore so we could put a sticker on the back of our car in hopes that our child will get some sort of collegiate scholarship. (My husband is digging his nails into his palms on THAT grammar!!!) Seriously. They gave us an inheritance... children.... and they will be slammed with SAT testing soon enough. Let them stay in their pajamas today. YOU stay in your pajamas today. Show up at that block party potluck in your workout clothes from this morning... I dare you!
How about you? Do you have a summer vacation secret trick? If it honors God and doesn't involve duct tape I'd love to hear about it!
