Well I am the first to admit it. I am a hypocrite. I mean, a big one!!! If you are spiritual and bible reading, you can just holler "Pharisee" and if none of that rings a bell... well, just stick with hypocrite. '
You see, I wrote this great entry about what to give your child for Christmas... a list that was obviously filled to the brim with knowledge and wisdom... mostly because I didn't write it. :) I was just putting my own slant and getting it out there, you know? And I do agree, its an outstanding list, one I think EVERY PARENT could benefit from. I think the problem was that I didn't read it. Oh, I read it...but mostly to proofread before I sent it out. Ha! Should have read the words again. Because this weekend I really gave the gift that nobody wants to receive...one big stressed out parent.
(Big breath. "There is no condemnation in Christ. There is no condemnation in Christ.) Really, it was about trying to have it all. An early trip to Target to score a Christmas gift, losing my husband's keys so he was locked out of the house (with the kids in 35 degree weather) for an hour, a gymnastic "exhibition" (because "recital" is soooo not cool when you're a boy,) church, a bridal shower, Christmas party and then finally.... lets not forget trying to decorate our Christmas tree. Holly Jolly? I think not. I was running from one thing to the next, holding my breath and by Sunday evening, I was so grouchy that even the grinch would have been a little unnerved. Oh yeah, there was no "tis the reason for the season" in my world.... I was a train wreck! So, I've gone back to read my Part 1 (and if you had a weekend close to mine, maybe you should too!) and am ready to write a "real world" version of Part 2...so here we go.... top 10 gifts to give your child this Christmas season:
6. Reinforce attitudes of Faith. Listen up... I don't really care at this point who you call God, if you believe there is a God or if you are praying to Jesus all day long...we can all benefit from this one, friends! Develop a no tolerance policy for pity, whining and tantrums. Fast forward 25 years into your life... does that work for you? How does whining go over at your workplace? Or to your spouse? I'm assuming its not a victorious move and if you manipulate someone to get what you want, then I guess you better get ready for your child to do the same to you! But let's talk reality here... we don't NEED to give in to "terrible two's" or an 8 year old telling us we're the worst parent ever (and thank you Jesus, that hasn't personally happened to me yet!) but what we can do is reinforce the truth when they go down the path of pity or poor behavior. Our children DESPERATELY SEEK BOUNDARIES IN A CULTURE THAT PROVIDES VERY FEW. The healthiest thing we can do is correct those attitudes, in love, but make it clear that they aren't acceptable ways to behave.
7. Develop a dependence outside of yourself. We have raised an entire generation of "everyone makes the team," "every one's a winner", etc. While this is great for a lot of children's self esteems... it manifested two attitudes amongst a lot of our youth; 1: I can do anything I want to do if I just put my mind to it and 2: I don't know how to deal with failure. The reality is that God made you unique, special, and designed to carry out a certain path of your life to bring glory to his name. So, actually, you can't be a rocket scientist if you had to cheat off of your neighbor's paper in 11th grade physics. We can't be all to everyone... and the quicker we accept it (and trust you me...if this were a game of Candyland, I'd be stuck in the licorice forest myself,) we can finally be victorious in realizing we were not designed to "do" life on our own. When our children see this, they won't grow up with the pressure of thinking that they can "do it all, have it all, be it all." Quite frankly, that's pretty overwhelming for a lot of people...so imagine a child's capacity to understand!
The best way to model this is to just pray truthfully and from the heart. Pray in front of your kids; prayer is just talking from the heart. The more complicated you make it...the more religious it looks, the more you will drive your children away from it.... after all, who has the vocabulary of a Pope at age 7? This may make some of you pee your pants but its perfectly okay to say/pray "God, I'm really bummed out I didn't get that promotion today." "God, help me find the strength to stay out of the cookie jar." "God, I trust that you will help me find my husband's car keys!" Whatever it is, let your children learn that its okay to cry out for a helper outside of themselves...it will be a valuable tool hidden in their heart for the rest of their lives!
8. Find a place to pray. I'm going to keep this short and sweet because quite honestly, I stretch for this one too. I could aim to wake at 6:30 a.m. just to get some alone time with God before the kids wake but you know what, I'd probably hit the alarm clock with a hammer before that would actually happen. So for me, I pray whenever I need to talk to him, but I also pray a lot in the car. Sometimes its because I do it to avoid screaming at my kids but I definitely love that they can see me talking to God.... even at volume 10! In fact, I heard my 2 year old talking in the car last week... "Jesus... thank you!" Don't let your prayer life be a secret to your kids... they are sponges... let them soak up your prayer life!
9. Book a time to serve or give with your children in tow. I will be the first to admit that organized activities to serve when you have really small kids are few and far between. It gets easier when they are in grade school, but don't let that stop you. I was so convicted by my 5 year old last year, then only 4, when we passed someone on the off-ramp who was holding a sign that read, "No job, no money, please help...God Bless." He asked me what the sign said and when I explained it to him, his response was, "Well why didn't you give him money, mom?" Ouch. Well, many would argue that we don't know if they are mentally stable, trying to con the system, on drugs or alcohol or too lazy to work. I know, because I've thought it!!!! But you know what? It isn't our job to judge...or condemn. It's not our job to worry about what he's going to do with the money, BUT... it is our job to help a fellow human being out! My husband is famous for buying protein bars in the big cities he travels to for work and then giving them to the homeless as he passes in between his appointments. One man told him, "Thank you, but I'd rather have a candy bar." While my husband was taken aback at what could be construed as ungratefulness, he thought to himself, "If I were freezing and sitting on a filthy sidewalk, I'd want a Snickers too!" Of course, my husband went back in to the drugstore and got him a Snickers... no questions asked.
When we give a present to someone we love, we don't know how they'll use it...but we don't necessarily let that prevent us from giving, do we? The same should be to those who are downtrodden, misfortuned or in desperate need of help. I wrote an article last year that has some great ideas to begin giving, but even making sure your car is stockpiled with extra snacks, candy bars and $1 bills is a great way. Never let an opportunity to give pass you AND YOUR CHILDREN by. Let them be the one who gives the dollar bill to the person in need. Trust me, my kids are experts in spending my money! Plant that seed of giving in your child's heart. We are blessed to be a blessing!
10. Last, but not least... go to the doctor who can heal, teach, instruct and change you. Get your prescription filled! I'm not talking the urgent care clinic, the PT or even your acupuncturist... although I do love and use all three! I'm talking about setting a goal to read the bible to your children. It is the best prescription for your heart and your mind that you can get your hands on... and you don't even need to get one from Canada online! Get a child's version... read to them each night. You know what.... I bet you are going to learn some things yourself! It's one of those BOGO type of gifts... you are spending time with your children (gift #1,) you are speaking words of faith (gift #2) and you are building them spiritually (gift #4.) If you are a multi-tasker like me...this is the hottest gift of the season!!!! Even if you don't go to church or have a relationship with your creator... I want you to jump off a cliff with me and try reading the bible next year with your kids. Feel free to comment on my blog if you landed at the bottom of the ravine with a back-breaking thud. I'm betting on a soft, cushioning landing that actually bounces you back up to fly higher than the cliff you jumped from.
Happy jumping... happy flying... and Happy Holidays!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
What to give your child for Christmas- Part 1
Raise your hand if you have felt like this the last two weeks.... totally overwhelmed by the sheer volume of advertising that has taken place this Christmas season. I'm not sure if I make it worse, either, because I am always on the lookout for a good deal. And, I'm a multi-tasker. And, I have, once again, committed to try and pull off way too many things. The results? Web sites with items in the cart that never get checked out, internet searches that time out, coupons clipped and sitting in my front passenger seat and only 1/4 of my Christmas shopping done. Good God, I cry out, its already the 10th! And yet, there are dozens of you that shrug in indifference because you have been done with your Christmas shopping since August 21st.
Whatever.
But it is overwhelming, isn't it? So many places to get so many different toys. I'm always faced with this question each year: Do we satisfy our son's craving and get him another video game? Or do we stray from the list, getting him something more educational...taking the risk that it might get shoved in the corner of the closet by the month's end. I love to get my kids gifts that they actually need but I'm learning that too much practical shopping is "sooooo uncool" when it comes time for the kids to return to school and compare their "I got" list with their friends. I mean, who can win at that game when you got new long underwear and a football lamp for Christmas... even if it was your favorite sports team??
I think the most amazing thing of all is that after a few months, no matter how cool, how popular or even how expensive the new toy is... it fades and loses all of its "hype." They've mastered every level, built the airship, played and won the game 14 times ... and the gift no longer holds their attention. Yet we have to hear about how AWESOME it is, how badly they need it and how they can't live without it for the four months leading up to Christmas. It reminds me of 1 Corinthians 9:24 where it says that an "athlete trains hard for his race, he's after the shiny gold medal but that it too, tarnishes and fades over time." And most presents do that, don't they? In fact, I am hard pressed to look around in my home and find a present that is much more than a decade old. O.K.... I'm sure I've got some treasures in my jewelry box, but I certainly need you to stop yourself from getting stuck on the exceptions at this point or you'll miss the following NUGGETS OF KNOWLEDGE here!
I grabbed this list of "gifts" you can give your child this year that will be worth far more than the ones we strive to put under the Christmas tree. They don't get shipped from Amazon... they can never be returned... and they definitely did not make the front page of ToysRUs. BUT.... you will never have to worry about them breaking, your children will never grow too old to use them and while they may not make the "look what I got" list come January, your child will DEFINITELY remember them for decades to come.
- You. You are the best gift you can give your child. You are his or her parent. God specifically paired you up for the job and there is no greater treasure for a child than to have your presence be his/her present. People always ask is it "quality or quantity" that is the best use of time with your child. Both are required, both are needed and both will yield the highest reward. Time is the most precious commodity because you cannot buy it back or return it...but you can invest it.
- Words. Proverbs 18:21 says The tongue can bring death or life; and it is true. Words are the most powerful gift you can give your child. Choose them well. Build their faith in who they are with your words. Correct in love with your words. It's a funny little saying, but even Thumper the rabbit got it right when he said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all." A good motto that I have been taught is, "Pray, don't say!" And there are times I slam my fist on the counter and say a quick prayer before I open my mouth because I don't want the words that I WANTED to say be words that tore my children down.... but instead, speak words that will build them up. Growing up, we remember those words from coaches, pastors, teachers.... but most of all, parents.
- Actions. Do things with your children. The wise woman who gave me the list spoke at our church last week (alright, alright, it was the world-renown Gini Smith, founding Pastor of The City Church... so if you think I just grabbed this from Letterman, now you know!) But she's speaking from a different place than where I am at. She's raised her two children and now they are out of the house, with families of their own. Time is precious... and so even though it seems like the only time you get to yourself is when you feign a trip to the bathroom just so you can lock the door... this too shall pass. So take advantage of it. I know its a bigger pain in the tail to take your kids with you as you run errands...but include them every now and then. You get a chance to model behavior, point things out, show them the turning leaves on the trees, help them count red cars, teach them how to hold a door open for someone and much more. I'm not Glenda the Good Witch over here...I know it means it will take longer, you'll get less done and probably have to go through a drive thru, but sometimes, if that's the only time you have to spend with them... forgo the sitter and take them along. It doesn't always have to be errands either.... make enough time to stop by a new park, go see the ducks in the pond or share a hot cocoa at Starbucks when you are done!
- Make plans to grow your child's heart this next coming year. Here's my soapbox for today. I think most people would agree that in general, a lot of us feel like the world is in a bad spot. Yes, there is "pay it forward" and love all around..but we've become accustomed to "gloom and doom" attitude IF you allow culture to get the best of you...would you agree? So why would we want to pass that along to our children? If the world's a scary place, then why wouldn't we equip them to rise above? If we know that our kids now need multivitamins, calcium supplements and organics to prevent disease when they are older, then we feed it to them...so please don't starve their souls! Practically speaking, here are some ideas: Teach your children about gratitude, giving and helping others. Start a gratitude journal with them and have them write in them each night.... or at least share at the dinner table or while you are tucking them in. Take up a donation jar and have them help around the house to earn money for their favorite animal shelter or food bank. We are not just fighting flesh and blood, but a spiritual war for our children's hearts. However, there is very little in the "world" that will build up their "soul" muscle unless we step in and get involved.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
False Start... on the offense.... 5 yard penalty, repeat first down
What do you want to bet that the first people to read this are the men who so bravely are willing to read a woman's blog? Of course..."build the football analogy and they will come." (Movie line from: Field of Dreams, just in case you didn't see it.) Guess you can figure out the framework for this entry and where we are headed? Sports. I know, I know...to all the ladies that just kicked off their Pradas and skinny jeans.. go ahead and change into your Lululemon pants and Nike cross-trainers, we're got to get our rally hats on for this one because this is REALLY IMPORTANT before you spend one more day in this holiday season!
Yep. God knew what he was doing... he gave me 3 wonderful, busy, crazy, football lovin' boys. I mean...they LOVE football. I prophesy that one will be a sports commentator, one will be a team chaplain and the last...well, its too early to call that one. But since I love college football myself, I thought the penalty analogy was only fitting for the way I think most of us have started the holiday season. We started before the whistle blew. It's a "false start" and we need to repeat the down. Read on....
I might have said this before but I think its worth repeating. There is nothing... NOTHING we can do to earn more of God's love. Nada. He loved us so much that he created the earth so we could live on it. He made us in his own image! And, because he realized that no matter how many times he tried to save us...we don't do so well with following rules. Eve... apples... 10 commandments... yep, we blew it. So, once and for all he did the unthinkable as a parent... he sacraficed his only Son so that once and for all, a new convenant could be made between Himself and us. For all who believe in His Son, it is God's free gift to us; being made right with Him even though we did nothing to deserve it.
Now... no amount of brown-nosing, good deeds, buy-off's or good samaritan acts are going to make God love you more. Your performance does not change your position as far as God is concerned. Backwards from the rest of the world, I know... but most things are when it comes to God. That is what might make it so hard; we are socially and emotionally programmed to tie performance to position and even, dare I say... self worth. At work, the better your performance, the higher your position over time (and for stay at home moms...this promotion ladder could take decades!) Just about anywhere in the world, the better we perform, the better we feel about ourselves and the better the world sees us.
But think about it. Think about the Holiday season that is in full swing. How do you view it? Is it a race? Is it a week after week "keeping up with the Jonses?" Are you to the point that your holiday statement looks something like this?
If any of this resonates with you... let me give you some practical advice. Knock it off! Stop it. False start... on the offense... NO PENALTY... repeat first down. God loves you just as you are. He doesn't care if your door wreath came from Michael's craft store, the overpriced Nursery down the long country road or if you didn't ever get around to hanging the wreath up. He isn't giving bigger houses in Heaven to the family's who made the best chocolate krinkle cookies. And, hold your holy horses, because he also is not going to love you more than your neighbor if you spent the entire month serving soup in a homeless shelter. (But you will glorify God to the masses, so don't cancel your holiday serving plans!)
What I am trying to say is that the only one putting pressure on yourself this holiday is you. Tis the season to glorify God and his ultimate sacrafice... the rest... well, we pile that on ourselves. I'm certainly not judging anyone for taking time to make their home beautiful, bake delicious cookies or even shop for presents. God gave you gifts and talents and made each one of us unique... I know for one friend that a beautiful home brings her joy and you know what, she does it effortlessly because its the way God designed her. For others, the holidays aren't complete if they haven't hosted a party that benefitted a charity in need.
I hope that for those who read this, you'll simply step back and before you repeat the down... take a look at your play book. In your 1-man offensive stategy, what's your goal? (You knew I had to bring it back to football!) What's your "reason behind the season?" And if you started off this season with a "false start," don't be so hard on yourself. Just get back in the huddle, reset, and start the play over again. I have a feeling the rest of the holiday season will be a victory.
Yep. God knew what he was doing... he gave me 3 wonderful, busy, crazy, football lovin' boys. I mean...they LOVE football. I prophesy that one will be a sports commentator, one will be a team chaplain and the last...well, its too early to call that one. But since I love college football myself, I thought the penalty analogy was only fitting for the way I think most of us have started the holiday season. We started before the whistle blew. It's a "false start" and we need to repeat the down. Read on....
I might have said this before but I think its worth repeating. There is nothing... NOTHING we can do to earn more of God's love. Nada. He loved us so much that he created the earth so we could live on it. He made us in his own image! And, because he realized that no matter how many times he tried to save us...we don't do so well with following rules. Eve... apples... 10 commandments... yep, we blew it. So, once and for all he did the unthinkable as a parent... he sacraficed his only Son so that once and for all, a new convenant could be made between Himself and us. For all who believe in His Son, it is God's free gift to us; being made right with Him even though we did nothing to deserve it.
Now... no amount of brown-nosing, good deeds, buy-off's or good samaritan acts are going to make God love you more. Your performance does not change your position as far as God is concerned. Backwards from the rest of the world, I know... but most things are when it comes to God. That is what might make it so hard; we are socially and emotionally programmed to tie performance to position and even, dare I say... self worth. At work, the better your performance, the higher your position over time (and for stay at home moms...this promotion ladder could take decades!) Just about anywhere in the world, the better we perform, the better we feel about ourselves and the better the world sees us.
But think about it. Think about the Holiday season that is in full swing. How do you view it? Is it a race? Is it a week after week "keeping up with the Jonses?" Are you to the point that your holiday statement looks something like this?
If any of this resonates with you... let me give you some practical advice. Knock it off! Stop it. False start... on the offense... NO PENALTY... repeat first down. God loves you just as you are. He doesn't care if your door wreath came from Michael's craft store, the overpriced Nursery down the long country road or if you didn't ever get around to hanging the wreath up. He isn't giving bigger houses in Heaven to the family's who made the best chocolate krinkle cookies. And, hold your holy horses, because he also is not going to love you more than your neighbor if you spent the entire month serving soup in a homeless shelter. (But you will glorify God to the masses, so don't cancel your holiday serving plans!)
What I am trying to say is that the only one putting pressure on yourself this holiday is you. Tis the season to glorify God and his ultimate sacrafice... the rest... well, we pile that on ourselves. I'm certainly not judging anyone for taking time to make their home beautiful, bake delicious cookies or even shop for presents. God gave you gifts and talents and made each one of us unique... I know for one friend that a beautiful home brings her joy and you know what, she does it effortlessly because its the way God designed her. For others, the holidays aren't complete if they haven't hosted a party that benefitted a charity in need.
I hope that for those who read this, you'll simply step back and before you repeat the down... take a look at your play book. In your 1-man offensive stategy, what's your goal? (You knew I had to bring it back to football!) What's your "reason behind the season?" And if you started off this season with a "false start," don't be so hard on yourself. Just get back in the huddle, reset, and start the play over again. I have a feeling the rest of the holiday season will be a victory.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Are you gas, hybrid or electric?
If you were quick to catch my last post entitled "my you look bushy" then first and foremost...thank you for being loyal readers. Because I ended up pulling the post after 6 hours; I wanted it to bake a little longer before coming out of the oven. That, and I had friends offering to come over and help me with yard work which further proves my point that my thoughts weren't translating onto the screen all that well.
Now that I have had a few days to let my thoughts soak, I'm ready to roll. In my last post talking about stopping to just "rest and pause for some moments" I ended with, "When we stop, He starts... and its always better." Well, when we stop, rest, and abide, we are able to make some of our best changes... our best growth... produce our BEST results. Think about it... don't beauty commercials tell us that our cells regenerate at night? Isn't sleep supposed (massive parenthood disclaimer) to be restorative? So when we abide (translate: rest, remain...stay....) with the one who created us, then we are able to make some of our best changes. Why?
Because in John 15:1; (uh, that would be the Bible, but not to worry if some of you thought it was a street address... no judging here on this end!) John 15:1 says that we are just a branch... Jesus is the Vine and God is our Vinedresser. So as a branch we have to stay connected to the vine in order to regenerate, change, grow. You cannot do it without being connected to the vine. In fact, a branch that has become broken off from its vine/trunk slowly starts to wither and die.
If you are like many friends I have, you will also admit that if you were called a greenthumb, its because it has gangrine, not because you are a good gardener. So let me give you a different analogy to chew on.
I'm no car buff but as best as I know, there are 3 car options out there on the mass market.
I bet someone at this point is thinking, "Bushes. Cars. For the love of the Lord, Erin, focus!!!"
Ready? What do the Hybrid/Electric cars have in common with the branch? They are constructed to require connection to a power source. The branch is connected to the vine that continually supplies energy, nourishment and all that is needed for it to maintain life within it. A car that "plugs into an energy source" is of course recharged and ready to go back out into the world. The gas car...however.... does not get recharged. Instead, it fills up on something that burns off and eventually, runs out. Without getting back in time for more gas... it stops working all together. (And then you're dialing AAA or spouse to come fetch you some gas by the roadside.)
I'm reading back over this and I have to admit, you're brave to have gone this far but here's what I want you to sit and ponder when you're done. What are YOU plugging into? What are YOU feeding your soul with? Because whatever you put in there...chances are, if its not the vinedresser (John 15:1 again) then its expendible, temporary and WILL run out. Consider the source of the branch's energy and nourishment... it doesn't have to do much... it just has to rest and stay connected to the vine. The hyrid or electric car doesn't have to do anything in the garage at night... it just has to get plugged in.
I guarantee you 10 minutes of abiding, whether it be jamming out to some Worship music, being still and knowing He alone is who loved you and created you or even cracking open your bible (hey, try John 15:1) will rejuvinate your engine more than anything else you can spend 10 minutes doing.
Now that I have had a few days to let my thoughts soak, I'm ready to roll. In my last post talking about stopping to just "rest and pause for some moments" I ended with, "When we stop, He starts... and its always better." Well, when we stop, rest, and abide, we are able to make some of our best changes... our best growth... produce our BEST results. Think about it... don't beauty commercials tell us that our cells regenerate at night? Isn't sleep supposed (massive parenthood disclaimer) to be restorative? So when we abide (translate: rest, remain...stay....) with the one who created us, then we are able to make some of our best changes. Why?
Because in John 15:1; (uh, that would be the Bible, but not to worry if some of you thought it was a street address... no judging here on this end!) John 15:1 says that we are just a branch... Jesus is the Vine and God is our Vinedresser. So as a branch we have to stay connected to the vine in order to regenerate, change, grow. You cannot do it without being connected to the vine. In fact, a branch that has become broken off from its vine/trunk slowly starts to wither and die.
If you are like many friends I have, you will also admit that if you were called a greenthumb, its because it has gangrine, not because you are a good gardener. So let me give you a different analogy to chew on.
I'm no car buff but as best as I know, there are 3 car options out there on the mass market.
- Gas
- Hybrid
- Electric
I bet someone at this point is thinking, "Bushes. Cars. For the love of the Lord, Erin, focus!!!"
Ready? What do the Hybrid/Electric cars have in common with the branch? They are constructed to require connection to a power source. The branch is connected to the vine that continually supplies energy, nourishment and all that is needed for it to maintain life within it. A car that "plugs into an energy source" is of course recharged and ready to go back out into the world. The gas car...however.... does not get recharged. Instead, it fills up on something that burns off and eventually, runs out. Without getting back in time for more gas... it stops working all together. (And then you're dialing AAA or spouse to come fetch you some gas by the roadside.)
I'm reading back over this and I have to admit, you're brave to have gone this far but here's what I want you to sit and ponder when you're done. What are YOU plugging into? What are YOU feeding your soul with? Because whatever you put in there...chances are, if its not the vinedresser (John 15:1 again) then its expendible, temporary and WILL run out. Consider the source of the branch's energy and nourishment... it doesn't have to do much... it just has to rest and stay connected to the vine. The hyrid or electric car doesn't have to do anything in the garage at night... it just has to get plugged in.
I guarantee you 10 minutes of abiding, whether it be jamming out to some Worship music, being still and knowing He alone is who loved you and created you or even cracking open your bible (hey, try John 15:1) will rejuvinate your engine more than anything else you can spend 10 minutes doing.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
You want me to do WHAT?
Last week had the potential to be one of the most "peek a boo" looks into this season in life. You see, my husband was home for the first of two full weeks without any airplane travel; Perhaps the longest stint without stepping foot inside an airport (excluding holidays) since I can remember... certainly the UW Huskies were a reputable football team the last time we went this long. (Okay, maybe a stretch, but you get my point.) Now that we are rounding out the 2nd week of him being home each evening, I have really come to learn some things about myself...and I believe all of us can relate.
1. Man, we run hard. I have slept a minimum of 8 hours every night that he has been home. I think your body just gets used to a certain amount of adrenalin and learns to perform at that rate. So when I knew my "1 on 3" power play was going to get a break... my body claimed the rights to some much needed rest. And we're not just talking sleep... I mean I'm a heap on the couch right after all the kids are tucked in at 8:30pm! That's saying something; when my husband travels its just me from the time the first child wakes up to the last one is tucked in...AND THEN there are dishes, laundry, an email response required...and so on. Having him in town has definitely shed light on how long we go on fumes...and our body doesn't even put the low fuel light on until we're 80 miles past the last gas station!
2. We feel guilty when we're not running hard. Is it just me or does that strike you as "messed up?" I mean, if we're not accomplishing, pursuing, conquering, solving or creating, the tendency is to make some judgments about how we are using our time and quite frankly the words "wasting," and "lazy" come to mind. I cringe when I think about my old perception of a stay at home mom...until I became one. "Watching Oprah eating Bon Bons and oh yes, doing crafts all day long w/ their children." For the record, my kids think craft time is the BEST THING EVER because we have it roughly twice a year. Why? I'm too stinkin' busy accomplishing, purusing, conquering and all that stuff! Always an email that needs responding. Always grocery shopping, always laundry, an unreturned phone call, an unsigned permission slip clamoring for our attention. Did I donate to my school's foundation, have I purchased socially conscious Halloween candy this year, gotten the stain out of my son's Halloween costume, rescheduled my son's dentist appointment or reviewed our next year's medical benefits before open enrollment closes? Did I? DID I???? And what if I don't?
Life goes on... we just might lose some friends on FB, kids will get hungry, run out of clothes and miss their field trip. The foundation will hound us via phone, I will get dirty looks for passing out "thug" Halloween candy, and we will have no medical insurance.
So imagine how attractive, yet utterly impossible it seemed...when my Pastor suggested that we stop "doing" and simply fully surrender and rest; so that we may allow God to do the work in us he promises. It just sounds backwards, right? We stop, so God can work in US. My "Type A" brain simply cannot process.
I cannot process because by nature, I am a "doer;" just cannot sit still for long. Sound like an echo? Do people say that of you? (I have a feeling I am hitting a nerve for so many... I think I am going to be talking quite a bit about this...)
Slowing down. I'm not talking about "going for a walk in the forest because God is in the trees." No he's not. You can head out there to get some fresh air, some clarity...but the "stop doing" I am talking about is learning how to abide in your Creator...the one who lovingly made you from start to finish and knows the depths of who you are.
So my short challenge for you today is to stop doing. Try it for 10 minutes. Not an email, FB check... no texting... just get with Him. Some sit still.... some pray.... some journal...some worship...just try it. I found 10 minutes to be really hard when I just sat still...so for me, worship was the only way to do it. And after 12 minutes passing like the blink of an eye... you're reading what came out of it.
You stop. He starts...and the work is always better when He's in charge.
1. Man, we run hard. I have slept a minimum of 8 hours every night that he has been home. I think your body just gets used to a certain amount of adrenalin and learns to perform at that rate. So when I knew my "1 on 3" power play was going to get a break... my body claimed the rights to some much needed rest. And we're not just talking sleep... I mean I'm a heap on the couch right after all the kids are tucked in at 8:30pm! That's saying something; when my husband travels its just me from the time the first child wakes up to the last one is tucked in...AND THEN there are dishes, laundry, an email response required...and so on. Having him in town has definitely shed light on how long we go on fumes...and our body doesn't even put the low fuel light on until we're 80 miles past the last gas station!
2. We feel guilty when we're not running hard. Is it just me or does that strike you as "messed up?" I mean, if we're not accomplishing, pursuing, conquering, solving or creating, the tendency is to make some judgments about how we are using our time and quite frankly the words "wasting," and "lazy" come to mind. I cringe when I think about my old perception of a stay at home mom...until I became one. "Watching Oprah eating Bon Bons and oh yes, doing crafts all day long w/ their children." For the record, my kids think craft time is the BEST THING EVER because we have it roughly twice a year. Why? I'm too stinkin' busy accomplishing, purusing, conquering and all that stuff! Always an email that needs responding. Always grocery shopping, always laundry, an unreturned phone call, an unsigned permission slip clamoring for our attention. Did I donate to my school's foundation, have I purchased socially conscious Halloween candy this year, gotten the stain out of my son's Halloween costume, rescheduled my son's dentist appointment or reviewed our next year's medical benefits before open enrollment closes? Did I? DID I???? And what if I don't?
Life goes on... we just might lose some friends on FB, kids will get hungry, run out of clothes and miss their field trip. The foundation will hound us via phone, I will get dirty looks for passing out "thug" Halloween candy, and we will have no medical insurance.
So imagine how attractive, yet utterly impossible it seemed...when my Pastor suggested that we stop "doing" and simply fully surrender and rest; so that we may allow God to do the work in us he promises. It just sounds backwards, right? We stop, so God can work in US. My "Type A" brain simply cannot process.
I cannot process because by nature, I am a "doer;" just cannot sit still for long. Sound like an echo? Do people say that of you? (I have a feeling I am hitting a nerve for so many... I think I am going to be talking quite a bit about this...)
Slowing down. I'm not talking about "going for a walk in the forest because God is in the trees." No he's not. You can head out there to get some fresh air, some clarity...but the "stop doing" I am talking about is learning how to abide in your Creator...the one who lovingly made you from start to finish and knows the depths of who you are.
So my short challenge for you today is to stop doing. Try it for 10 minutes. Not an email, FB check... no texting... just get with Him. Some sit still.... some pray.... some journal...some worship...just try it. I found 10 minutes to be really hard when I just sat still...so for me, worship was the only way to do it. And after 12 minutes passing like the blink of an eye... you're reading what came out of it.
You stop. He starts...and the work is always better when He's in charge.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Hold your horses
Yep... my pen is itching. Maybe it was the sheer number of visits to my last post, maybe it was just the exhilerating feeling I got while I was writing yesterday... maybe, just maybe, this writing thing is starting to come together. My kids were at the table yesterday doing their homework w/ a friend and on the kitchen computer screen was my Blog's home page. My 3rd grader and his friend were getting a kick out of reading the last entry (Love is not an option) and kept asking, "Wow, how did you write all of this? How did you THINK of all of this?" I could have said, "Welcome to my head... its a mixer party up in there!" but instead I just blurted out, "God."
What a profound knee-jerk response it was... I didn't even really think it through... it just came out. So today, even with a ton of things to get done; floors to be swept and vacuumed, the kitchen sink resembles an earthquake aftermath and I"m pretty sure eveyone's wearing their last pair of clean underwear... I just wanted to write. Will I finally write a chapter in my outlined future best seller? Not today. Do I have earth shattering news? Nope. But I know one thing... I am SUPPOSED to write today.... its part of His plan.
For those of you as fleshly narcisstic as I tend to be, you might be wondering what this has to do with you? Actually, this topic is for everyone... because we all need to learn to hold our horses. I love the bumper sticker (which is saying something, I usually despise bumper stickers... I find them a passive agressive way to communicate what you should just be saying out loud!) Anyhooooo, the sticker that says "We plan, God laughs." I suppose its a spin from Psalms 16:9 which states that "We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps." (NLT.)
We can plan with the best of intentions but we truly have no idea what our future holds. Only God does. So while we are designed to make choices, have free will, plan for the future... one thing is for certain, we don't have any control over it. And I think that is why its so important that we learn to hold our horses...for we have no idea (truly) as to what our plans will produce in His timing. (For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11, NLT)
I think in this day and age we get very frustrated when things don't happen the way we want them to... especially with regards to timing. I mean, how spoiled have we become? 100 years ago a woman my age was on the verge of being dead. Had she still been alive (ahem,) she would have spent all day either warming bathtub water, creaming butter or grinding wheat. C'mon, now I get irritated when my chicken breasts take 11 minutes to go from frozen (oh yeah, in my temperature controlled Garage freezer, no less) to defrosted so I can throw them in my double oven to have dinner ready 35 minutes later. We are a society and generation of NO patience. Yet we have no knowledge of future events, nor are we privy to what lays ahead and how it affects timing as it relates to our "today." All we know is that we have planted desires in our heart and in HIS timing, they will come together... which, might I add, will produce the greatest outcome for us as well!!! Did you ever notice how when you finally accomplish something you have had your heart set at...its always at the right time? On the flip, pay attention to how it feels when you are trying to push for something and its really not "coming together" or if it does, it didn't bring you any satisfaction, or it felt like a struggle? Aha.... God's timing.
He alone can see what is coming. It doesn't really work when we want to do this whole God thing, but only in an advisory capacity. Um...he's good. I don't think he's posting any Craig's List ads for counsel in the "gigs" section...so you are going to have to trust me that if you can just "hold your horses" and do your part TODAY... he will exhalt you in due time.
So hold on to your dreams and lifelong goal list... they are important...its what God has created you to be (or some version of it, we'll get to that in another post!) The heart of the matter is that we walk by faith, not by sight. Listen to what you are to do today, because His ways are bigger than ours and quite frankly, the guy just knows more than we do. I know today's Blog entry won't cause me to wake up tomorrow with a publishing contract or an amazing speaking opportunity (although I do use my scrambled eggs spatula as a microphone sometimes) but it will have been just one thread woven together in the tapestry of my life as God intended it to be. Besides, laundry and dirty floors will still exist after I have pased in this life... just like your inbox, and your Facebook page.
What a profound knee-jerk response it was... I didn't even really think it through... it just came out. So today, even with a ton of things to get done; floors to be swept and vacuumed, the kitchen sink resembles an earthquake aftermath and I"m pretty sure eveyone's wearing their last pair of clean underwear... I just wanted to write. Will I finally write a chapter in my outlined future best seller? Not today. Do I have earth shattering news? Nope. But I know one thing... I am SUPPOSED to write today.... its part of His plan.
For those of you as fleshly narcisstic as I tend to be, you might be wondering what this has to do with you? Actually, this topic is for everyone... because we all need to learn to hold our horses. I love the bumper sticker (which is saying something, I usually despise bumper stickers... I find them a passive agressive way to communicate what you should just be saying out loud!) Anyhooooo, the sticker that says "We plan, God laughs." I suppose its a spin from Psalms 16:9 which states that "We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps." (NLT.)
We can plan with the best of intentions but we truly have no idea what our future holds. Only God does. So while we are designed to make choices, have free will, plan for the future... one thing is for certain, we don't have any control over it. And I think that is why its so important that we learn to hold our horses...for we have no idea (truly) as to what our plans will produce in His timing. (For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11, NLT)
I think in this day and age we get very frustrated when things don't happen the way we want them to... especially with regards to timing. I mean, how spoiled have we become? 100 years ago a woman my age was on the verge of being dead. Had she still been alive (ahem,) she would have spent all day either warming bathtub water, creaming butter or grinding wheat. C'mon, now I get irritated when my chicken breasts take 11 minutes to go from frozen (oh yeah, in my temperature controlled Garage freezer, no less) to defrosted so I can throw them in my double oven to have dinner ready 35 minutes later. We are a society and generation of NO patience. Yet we have no knowledge of future events, nor are we privy to what lays ahead and how it affects timing as it relates to our "today." All we know is that we have planted desires in our heart and in HIS timing, they will come together... which, might I add, will produce the greatest outcome for us as well!!! Did you ever notice how when you finally accomplish something you have had your heart set at...its always at the right time? On the flip, pay attention to how it feels when you are trying to push for something and its really not "coming together" or if it does, it didn't bring you any satisfaction, or it felt like a struggle? Aha.... God's timing.
He alone can see what is coming. It doesn't really work when we want to do this whole God thing, but only in an advisory capacity. Um...he's good. I don't think he's posting any Craig's List ads for counsel in the "gigs" section...so you are going to have to trust me that if you can just "hold your horses" and do your part TODAY... he will exhalt you in due time.
So hold on to your dreams and lifelong goal list... they are important...its what God has created you to be (or some version of it, we'll get to that in another post!) The heart of the matter is that we walk by faith, not by sight. Listen to what you are to do today, because His ways are bigger than ours and quite frankly, the guy just knows more than we do. I know today's Blog entry won't cause me to wake up tomorrow with a publishing contract or an amazing speaking opportunity (although I do use my scrambled eggs spatula as a microphone sometimes) but it will have been just one thread woven together in the tapestry of my life as God intended it to be. Besides, laundry and dirty floors will still exist after I have pased in this life... just like your inbox, and your Facebook page.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Love is not an option
This morning I was struck by the fatigue that had already set in while I was trying to get my oldest out the door. You see, he is a "lid pusher." My definition: A Lid-pusher is someone who, if placed in a tupperware bowl, would continue to jump and try to push the lid off rather than sit down and accept that they are stuck inside a bowl. As a parent, I know that my responsibility is to help harness the gifts that God has granted to my oldest son so that he might use them for good. But let me tell you, sometimes, it's exhausting. I mean, we battled everything; breakfast (mind you, HE requested the scrambled eggs!,) picture day attire and finally, what his hair was going to look like before he exited the door at 8:06 this morning.
Since I'm not asking for advice, those of you ready to dole out the "choose your battles" advice, you can keep it in. Because truth is, I already do! I don't care if his clothes are "weather correct," if he decides to eat vitamins with breakfast or dinner or even how many times he wants to wear that jacket before its washed! So trust you me, you wanna rock that t-shirt with those pair of shorts, go for it! Oh yeah, five shades of blue in your outfit, plaids and stripes? You bet. Quite frankly, I don't have the time or energy...and its your potential shark waters at school, not mine.
So as not to run the risk of having child protective services knock on my door, lets circle back. Some things are NOT negotiable. And today, what shirt you wear and your hair style, on picture day, was not negotiable. I'm not writing a check only to send Grandma and Grandpa a picture of my son resembling Alfalfa.
Isn't it funny what specific battles we try and win with people? I find it fascinating to do life with other parents and observe what their "control buttons" are. Manners? Attire? Daily routines? What drives us to prioritize what we kick and scream over, discipline over, shake our fists over... or pray over?
I was reading about Jesus's last supper with his disciples and while most of us know that this was to be his last time "teaching" and "advising" his disciples, it struck me smack upside the head at what his last set of "instructions" were. Love one another. (John 13:34)
What I love about Jesus is that while he didn't scream, shake a fist, or threaten to take the Wii away if a instruction was not followed; nor did he teach or instruct with some back door option of "well, I'm just throwing out some suggestions, pick which ones work for you." Oh no, he was pretty straight forward about the guidance he gave his disciples. When I read that, it really made me think, "Wow... so loving one another isn't really an option...it's a mandate." It's the "you WILL have combed-down hair on picture day" battles. He goes on to say that it is by loving one another that He will know his disciples.
Fast forward 2011 years. If you believe that there is a God... hes still asking you to love one another. Not just the easy ones... no, one another... as in... all! Yep..the one who flipped you off for driving 65 in the carpool lane. The one who pulled out 73 coupons in the grocery store when you were late to begin with. The co-worker who surfs the net all day long and makes more than you and oh yes, the person who gave you the dirty look because your child threw a fit in the Red Robin. (And for goodness sakes, who thinks Red Robin is a quiet restaurant to begin with????) We are to love them. Why? Because He asked us to. Why we gotta do this? (Just pretending to be my 5 year old for a moment.) Because He loved us first.
You know what is going to happen if you adopt the "love isn't an option" attitude? You're going to rock the world. You're going to show patience to that super-couponer and know that God will make up the time that you lost waiting for the checker to scan through her 72 boxes of cereal. You are going to prove the cranky couple at Red Robin wrong because you are going to stare right back with a big smile... and the love will shine through your eyes when you look at them...and they will notice...that something is different about you. I bet if you are consistent at loving every person you come into contact with, you are going to genuinely brighten someone's day; you may be the catalyst to improving the morale at your office, at your book club, in the Starbucks parking lot (which may, in of itself, start a revolution!) Try it... and let me know what what happens!
Since I'm not asking for advice, those of you ready to dole out the "choose your battles" advice, you can keep it in. Because truth is, I already do! I don't care if his clothes are "weather correct," if he decides to eat vitamins with breakfast or dinner or even how many times he wants to wear that jacket before its washed! So trust you me, you wanna rock that t-shirt with those pair of shorts, go for it! Oh yeah, five shades of blue in your outfit, plaids and stripes? You bet. Quite frankly, I don't have the time or energy...and its your potential shark waters at school, not mine.
So as not to run the risk of having child protective services knock on my door, lets circle back. Some things are NOT negotiable. And today, what shirt you wear and your hair style, on picture day, was not negotiable. I'm not writing a check only to send Grandma and Grandpa a picture of my son resembling Alfalfa.
Isn't it funny what specific battles we try and win with people? I find it fascinating to do life with other parents and observe what their "control buttons" are. Manners? Attire? Daily routines? What drives us to prioritize what we kick and scream over, discipline over, shake our fists over... or pray over?
I was reading about Jesus's last supper with his disciples and while most of us know that this was to be his last time "teaching" and "advising" his disciples, it struck me smack upside the head at what his last set of "instructions" were. Love one another. (John 13:34)
What I love about Jesus is that while he didn't scream, shake a fist, or threaten to take the Wii away if a instruction was not followed; nor did he teach or instruct with some back door option of "well, I'm just throwing out some suggestions, pick which ones work for you." Oh no, he was pretty straight forward about the guidance he gave his disciples. When I read that, it really made me think, "Wow... so loving one another isn't really an option...it's a mandate." It's the "you WILL have combed-down hair on picture day" battles. He goes on to say that it is by loving one another that He will know his disciples.
Fast forward 2011 years. If you believe that there is a God... hes still asking you to love one another. Not just the easy ones... no, one another... as in... all! Yep..the one who flipped you off for driving 65 in the carpool lane. The one who pulled out 73 coupons in the grocery store when you were late to begin with. The co-worker who surfs the net all day long and makes more than you and oh yes, the person who gave you the dirty look because your child threw a fit in the Red Robin. (And for goodness sakes, who thinks Red Robin is a quiet restaurant to begin with????) We are to love them. Why? Because He asked us to. Why we gotta do this? (Just pretending to be my 5 year old for a moment.) Because He loved us first.
You know what is going to happen if you adopt the "love isn't an option" attitude? You're going to rock the world. You're going to show patience to that super-couponer and know that God will make up the time that you lost waiting for the checker to scan through her 72 boxes of cereal. You are going to prove the cranky couple at Red Robin wrong because you are going to stare right back with a big smile... and the love will shine through your eyes when you look at them...and they will notice...that something is different about you. I bet if you are consistent at loving every person you come into contact with, you are going to genuinely brighten someone's day; you may be the catalyst to improving the morale at your office, at your book club, in the Starbucks parking lot (which may, in of itself, start a revolution!) Try it... and let me know what what happens!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Are you an angry bird?
Today was a challenging one... and I write this at 2:32 in the afternoon, which for some of you, may mean you've been rolling for just few hours. For people like my husband, the day is already 12 hours long. Regardless, I am just admitting that it started out challenging and just kept on going. Not really anything catastrophic, but rather, situation after situation that required me to search within myself to get through. Waking up late and not having my son's lunch packed, running to the bus stop in God knows what clothing and realzing I'm sloshing my 30 lb toddler on my hip... with, a very poopy diaper. (Stay with me... I'm getting to my point.) I decided to stay at home instead of head to the gym after listening to my 5 year old complain that he never gets to play with me. Yeah, we know where that is headed... by 11:30 I am frustrated, haven't gotten out of the front door, the house is trashed, I haven't worked out and got about 11 minutes of quality play time with my son.
To top it off I quickly kiss my Kindergarten son off to the bus for his school day and then dash behind him in my car because I agreed to volunteer in his classroom twice a month. Never fails, I get the messy projects. At least it wasn't frosting sugar cookies... THAT literally gives me cold sweats. Close, however... I am helping 5 year olds watercolor their fall leaves they cut out of paper. Right. Only half of them know how to use a paintbrush. One doesn't want to get her sweater dirty. One boy wants new water every time he dips his brush. Did I mention that I'm also supervising my 25 month toddler and asking him to not disrupt the class while they have independent reading. And how exactly am I to do that when my shape and color-obsessed toddler is running around the classroom, squealing in delight, shouting out "diamond, circle and triangle?" WHAT WAS I THINKING????
I treated myself to a (sloooowwww) run on the treadmill this afternoon and heard a podcast about the importance of pillars in a building; a pillar representing one of your true values. If the pillar gets knocked over or becomes weak, the whole building crumbles. I got a visual of the game Angry Birds and chuckled thinking of how good my 5 year old is at angling that slingshot and launching those birds right into the concrete and wood buildings... watching them slowly teeter, wobble and fall... crashing into rubble. Now, my SON playing is not the point of this rant. When I play Angry Birds... I aim as best I can but the darn bird just ends up lightly thumping the concrete and rolling back over, having hit their head on the cement... not really affecting the integrity of the structure at all... in fact, I swear those stinkin pigs are laughing at me.
Are you still tracking me? The point is... its important to identify what your "pillars" are... and what your "angry birds" look like. Your pillars should represent the things that make you "YOU." Your values, beliefs, dreams, and goals. Your angry birds should be the things you end up doing with your time. We all have the exact same amount of time... no matter your status, wealth or accolades, we're all on an even playing field. So is what you are doing with your time knocking over the walls of who you are? Circle back to my morning... I filled it with "works" and "tasks" that I don't particularly enjoy doing. We do it all the time...and most of us justify it quite well. "I really should be in my child's classroom." "It's just one morning a month." "They needed volunteers." Listen... if you don't get a kick out of doing it, then get out. Now, because I know this could start a rash of EVERY mom backing out of EVERYTHING then I will say... sometimes we should do a few things we don't "feel" like doing because the world needs our helping hands... but in general, every time you add something to your plate that doesn't match up with the dreams and desires God placed in your heart... you run the potential of that very thing becoming the angry bird that knocks your wall down. The result? Burnt out, bummed out, tired and frustrated.
Hopefully this will get you thinking. I encourage you to write down all of the commitments you have in your life. Then make a column... they either go on the "brings joy" category or "downer" category. See if you can't realign some of your activities to find the ones that you are not only gifted to do, but bring you joy, energy and a sense of satisfaction!
To top it off I quickly kiss my Kindergarten son off to the bus for his school day and then dash behind him in my car because I agreed to volunteer in his classroom twice a month. Never fails, I get the messy projects. At least it wasn't frosting sugar cookies... THAT literally gives me cold sweats. Close, however... I am helping 5 year olds watercolor their fall leaves they cut out of paper. Right. Only half of them know how to use a paintbrush. One doesn't want to get her sweater dirty. One boy wants new water every time he dips his brush. Did I mention that I'm also supervising my 25 month toddler and asking him to not disrupt the class while they have independent reading. And how exactly am I to do that when my shape and color-obsessed toddler is running around the classroom, squealing in delight, shouting out "diamond, circle and triangle?" WHAT WAS I THINKING????
I treated myself to a (sloooowwww) run on the treadmill this afternoon and heard a podcast about the importance of pillars in a building; a pillar representing one of your true values. If the pillar gets knocked over or becomes weak, the whole building crumbles. I got a visual of the game Angry Birds and chuckled thinking of how good my 5 year old is at angling that slingshot and launching those birds right into the concrete and wood buildings... watching them slowly teeter, wobble and fall... crashing into rubble. Now, my SON playing is not the point of this rant. When I play Angry Birds... I aim as best I can but the darn bird just ends up lightly thumping the concrete and rolling back over, having hit their head on the cement... not really affecting the integrity of the structure at all... in fact, I swear those stinkin pigs are laughing at me.
Are you still tracking me? The point is... its important to identify what your "pillars" are... and what your "angry birds" look like. Your pillars should represent the things that make you "YOU." Your values, beliefs, dreams, and goals. Your angry birds should be the things you end up doing with your time. We all have the exact same amount of time... no matter your status, wealth or accolades, we're all on an even playing field. So is what you are doing with your time knocking over the walls of who you are? Circle back to my morning... I filled it with "works" and "tasks" that I don't particularly enjoy doing. We do it all the time...and most of us justify it quite well. "I really should be in my child's classroom." "It's just one morning a month." "They needed volunteers." Listen... if you don't get a kick out of doing it, then get out. Now, because I know this could start a rash of EVERY mom backing out of EVERYTHING then I will say... sometimes we should do a few things we don't "feel" like doing because the world needs our helping hands... but in general, every time you add something to your plate that doesn't match up with the dreams and desires God placed in your heart... you run the potential of that very thing becoming the angry bird that knocks your wall down. The result? Burnt out, bummed out, tired and frustrated.
Hopefully this will get you thinking. I encourage you to write down all of the commitments you have in your life. Then make a column... they either go on the "brings joy" category or "downer" category. See if you can't realign some of your activities to find the ones that you are not only gifted to do, but bring you joy, energy and a sense of satisfaction!
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Getta out of the Ditch- part 2
Wow, how time flies. I hope you have enjoyed the last week or so; whether you were planning, taking or recovering from a Spring Break, welcome! If you read my last entry and didn't take any action on my first 5 points, I swear this weather probably reinforced the ditch dwelling (feeling like you are in a rut.) You seriously might have even started to decorate your ditch...order some matching pillows and eco-friendly outdoor carpets...because the "will this rain ever end" doldrums definitely got me!
Did you move forward? Did you have an "aha" moment? To share, I have definitely taken ahold of #1 (meet frequently.) Since I moved back to Seattle, I have practically forced people to meet with me (and lets face it, forced their kids to entertain my kids!) But the outcome has always been well worth it. I am not up for meeting with people that have to make a big deal out of a "play date." If I arrive and you're all dolled up and have organized crafts at the table when I show up, and I'm outta there. I need to know I can exhale around my buds, and you know what; your friends do too. (Back to that "authentic" rant I went on last week...read my last post to catch up.) So without further ado...here is the 2nd half of my ideas to get you "outta the ditch."
6. Humility. Get over yourself...quickly. I say this with all the love in my heart because its one of the hardest things for me...but I heard something really good on this last night. You aren't first and you never will be. When you can realize that you AREN'T in control over every aspect of your life, it gets a whole lot easier. If you need to ask me who is first, let's talk. :) In all seriousness, however, its gaining a sense of humility that allows you to stop looking at yourself all the time and start looking outwards. You can't do life by yourself and I know I mentioned this last time but you have to be willing to ask for help. And people love to help, they just don't know how to offer or jump in. So stop carrying the world on your shoulders. Get out of the car, get into shotgun, surrender the wheel and if the car ain't moving right away, ask your friends to help you push it out of the rut.
7. Honesty. With yourself...and with everyone around you. Do you know an honest answer is a sign of a true friendship? Now, we could dive off about the subject of timing, tact, delivery, etc....but if you are reading this, I trust you get it. People appreciate frankness more than flattery...we all see flattery coming from a mile away and its nauseating. But there are a few guidelines for being honest. Complement in public, correct in private. Nobody, I mean nobody, regardless of age wants to be deflated in front of others. There is a time and place..but I guarantee in this fallen world, we do not GENUINELY compliment enough in public. I challenge you to find 3 people every day you can compliment. I also guarantee you'll feel 10 times better than you did before you started giving your compliments away.
8. Mercy. To get out of our rut, we are going to have to rise above and learn how to operate out of a position of mercy. It's something we definitely don't deserve but its not about a push/pull or a "he didn't so I'm not" type of deal. Mercy is forgiveness and compassion and "wiping the slate clean" when really, we are deserving of a right hook to the jaw. Having mercy for one another is hard all by itself; you should probably start with courtesy, sympathy and humility before you jump right into mercy. Why? Oh, its one of those "who forgives first? Well, the person with the most maturity." situations. Ouch...but mercy without strings is a tough thing to give without first walking out those other values in your daily life. In fact, when you learn to walk out humility, you'll see that not much is actually about you and mercy is easy to give! I love how simple the recipe really is!
9. Confidentiality. O.K. I'll admit... in high school, I was a gossip HOUND! It was almost like having the edge of who was doing what made me feel more important because people knew they could come to me and get the dish. Well, I'm so gloriously happy to say that sassy sista' in me died years ago and I realize the power of our words can be life or death. If you want outta the ditch, you can't be throwing everyone else into one. Quite honestly, (because that is number 7), stop gossiping. If one person tells you something about themselves...pretty sure they know how to tell other people if they wanted to. No one appointed you spokesperson for anyone's life and until they do (with full salary, pension plan and benefits) then we truly aren't at liberty to discuss their affairs without their permission. Good grief people, its the one time you should TALK ABOUT YOURSELVES and not someone else... so go for it!
10. The last advice I can give you about getting yourself outta that ditch is this: unity. We should all have a common purpose. Maybe that should just be making these changes so the community becomes a better place. Maybe its changing your tune so that you're outta the ditch. Whatever it is, I believe we're all created to want the best. I don't know of many unmedicated people who throw their legs over the bed and say, "lets see if I can make THIS day the worst ever!" So find unity in whomever you hang around, your group of peeps, etc. If you can't find any unity well then under my breath I say you better re-evaluate who you are hanging out with but formally I would encourage you to find something you enjoy doing and then find some friends who enjoy doing the same thing. Fitness? Bible Study? Scrapbooking? Shopping? Park-hopping? Doesn't really matter, just begin to realize that we are all on this earth for 50-90 years and we better starting finding some commonalities instead of scrutinizing the differences. I think you'll be amazed at how many similarities you find once you start looking. Celebrate the differences without requiring everyone around you to conform to YOUR values. (Mostly because number 6 says to have humility.) lol.
Wow, I have to say I'm a bit convicted of some of my own "rut-like" habits. Time to get out the eraser and a little WD-40 to tune up the ol' heart, mind and soul. So now you have 10 ideas to run with and I'm curious... which one whacked you upside the head? O.K., maybe more importantly, which one whacked you upside the heart? Let me know and in the meantime, have a great time getting outta the ditch and back onto the highway.
-Erin
Did you move forward? Did you have an "aha" moment? To share, I have definitely taken ahold of #1 (meet frequently.) Since I moved back to Seattle, I have practically forced people to meet with me (and lets face it, forced their kids to entertain my kids!) But the outcome has always been well worth it. I am not up for meeting with people that have to make a big deal out of a "play date." If I arrive and you're all dolled up and have organized crafts at the table when I show up, and I'm outta there. I need to know I can exhale around my buds, and you know what; your friends do too. (Back to that "authentic" rant I went on last week...read my last post to catch up.) So without further ado...here is the 2nd half of my ideas to get you "outta the ditch."
6. Humility. Get over yourself...quickly. I say this with all the love in my heart because its one of the hardest things for me...but I heard something really good on this last night. You aren't first and you never will be. When you can realize that you AREN'T in control over every aspect of your life, it gets a whole lot easier. If you need to ask me who is first, let's talk. :) In all seriousness, however, its gaining a sense of humility that allows you to stop looking at yourself all the time and start looking outwards. You can't do life by yourself and I know I mentioned this last time but you have to be willing to ask for help. And people love to help, they just don't know how to offer or jump in. So stop carrying the world on your shoulders. Get out of the car, get into shotgun, surrender the wheel and if the car ain't moving right away, ask your friends to help you push it out of the rut.
7. Honesty. With yourself...and with everyone around you. Do you know an honest answer is a sign of a true friendship? Now, we could dive off about the subject of timing, tact, delivery, etc....but if you are reading this, I trust you get it. People appreciate frankness more than flattery...we all see flattery coming from a mile away and its nauseating. But there are a few guidelines for being honest. Complement in public, correct in private. Nobody, I mean nobody, regardless of age wants to be deflated in front of others. There is a time and place..but I guarantee in this fallen world, we do not GENUINELY compliment enough in public. I challenge you to find 3 people every day you can compliment. I also guarantee you'll feel 10 times better than you did before you started giving your compliments away.
8. Mercy. To get out of our rut, we are going to have to rise above and learn how to operate out of a position of mercy. It's something we definitely don't deserve but its not about a push/pull or a "he didn't so I'm not" type of deal. Mercy is forgiveness and compassion and "wiping the slate clean" when really, we are deserving of a right hook to the jaw. Having mercy for one another is hard all by itself; you should probably start with courtesy, sympathy and humility before you jump right into mercy. Why? Oh, its one of those "who forgives first? Well, the person with the most maturity." situations. Ouch...but mercy without strings is a tough thing to give without first walking out those other values in your daily life. In fact, when you learn to walk out humility, you'll see that not much is actually about you and mercy is easy to give! I love how simple the recipe really is!
9. Confidentiality. O.K. I'll admit... in high school, I was a gossip HOUND! It was almost like having the edge of who was doing what made me feel more important because people knew they could come to me and get the dish. Well, I'm so gloriously happy to say that sassy sista' in me died years ago and I realize the power of our words can be life or death. If you want outta the ditch, you can't be throwing everyone else into one. Quite honestly, (because that is number 7), stop gossiping. If one person tells you something about themselves...pretty sure they know how to tell other people if they wanted to. No one appointed you spokesperson for anyone's life and until they do (with full salary, pension plan and benefits) then we truly aren't at liberty to discuss their affairs without their permission. Good grief people, its the one time you should TALK ABOUT YOURSELVES and not someone else... so go for it!
10. The last advice I can give you about getting yourself outta that ditch is this: unity. We should all have a common purpose. Maybe that should just be making these changes so the community becomes a better place. Maybe its changing your tune so that you're outta the ditch. Whatever it is, I believe we're all created to want the best. I don't know of many unmedicated people who throw their legs over the bed and say, "lets see if I can make THIS day the worst ever!" So find unity in whomever you hang around, your group of peeps, etc. If you can't find any unity well then under my breath I say you better re-evaluate who you are hanging out with but formally I would encourage you to find something you enjoy doing and then find some friends who enjoy doing the same thing. Fitness? Bible Study? Scrapbooking? Shopping? Park-hopping? Doesn't really matter, just begin to realize that we are all on this earth for 50-90 years and we better starting finding some commonalities instead of scrutinizing the differences. I think you'll be amazed at how many similarities you find once you start looking. Celebrate the differences without requiring everyone around you to conform to YOUR values. (Mostly because number 6 says to have humility.) lol.
Wow, I have to say I'm a bit convicted of some of my own "rut-like" habits. Time to get out the eraser and a little WD-40 to tune up the ol' heart, mind and soul. So now you have 10 ideas to run with and I'm curious... which one whacked you upside the head? O.K., maybe more importantly, which one whacked you upside the heart? Let me know and in the meantime, have a great time getting outta the ditch and back onto the highway.
-Erin
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Get outta the ditch- part 1 of 2
Wow... so much I could write about that has transpired over the last three months but I think my brain is still processing and the entry would read more like a therapy transcript than a blog entry. If you know me personally, you'll know the last few months have been an amazing season of miracles, being stretched and walking in the dark. Oh how I long for a flashlight...strike that.... flood lamp!
I thought long and hard about the title of my entry... all of about 15 seconds. I was going to title it "10 ideas to change the world," but quite honestly, if I was sitting down with a cup of tea, coffee or wine... I wouldn't want to read how to change the world. It's enough to get a shower, blow dry AND curl my eyelashes... so changing the world? Another day, another season perhaps. So, after weighing out my "go get 'em" persona and my "are you kidding me?" persona...both win. Overwhelmed mom gets the title and my "go get 'em" alter ego gets the content.
The mom in me says its easy to get ourselves into a routine and quite frankly, that routine can be full of mundane and isolating activities. I realized this was the first time in over 30 days I have had time to myself without someone under 52" needing my attention. Still, my toddler is jumping up and down in the crib and I realize, with a slight attitude of defeat, that this means my ambitious afternoon hopes are in serious jeopardy because my little one will be a nightmare without a nap... making our upcoming playdate look more like a scene from a underfunded, understaffed child care center. Oh joy.
So how do we do it... how do we shake up our day, put on a happy face and do more than just "hope" for a happier existence and disposition? I heard these 10 ideas last week and thought I would pass them on... having gone through the "burbs" filter, of course! Chew on these and I'll throw you the other 5 soon!
1. Meet frequently with others. We are created to be in community with other people. No one was supposed to raise children, support and run their household by driving into our garage and shutting the garage door behind us, never to see another soul. Set up people that you can meet with regularly, even if the kiddos are running around outside or in a Starbucks; get in front of the same people on a consistent basis. Set up a potluck dinner group and get over the fact that you don't have perfect place settings. I don't remember a gathering where I remembered the napkin holders more than the people and the food that was shared.
2. Be authentic. Stop trying to be perfect... til you get to Heaven you are going to fall short every time so give it up! People sense authenticity and quite frankly, its refreshing. You never know when your honesty is going to "give permission" for someone else to not be so hard on themselves. It's amazing how much we compare to one another but if we aren't real, then we're comparing against a version that doesn't exist.
3. Get some friends. Together, we are stronger. We weren't created to do everything on our own. I remember asking my mom how on earth our grandmothers raised so many children in the house without losing their marbles. My mom's first reponse is that they didn't do it alone. We as a culture used to live closer to extended family who would help carry the load and relied on neighbors to "form a village" and support one another. The fact is, that if you try and do it all yourself you are going to burn out. People are genuinely created to want to help, most often we just don't know how to jump in... so let 'em know! Let someone else receive satisfaction for helping you out and in turn, you'll get the break you need.
4. Refresh your courtesy "bucket." We all have one... its that bucket in your heart that gives grace to others that may test your patience, rub you the wrong way, etc. Everyone has their own history and unless we know it all, we have no idea what their story is and why they do what they do. The next person who cuts over at last minute may not, in fact, be a narcisstic jerk but might actually be driving this road for the first time. The neighbor who's dog pooped in your yard may be inside dealing with unruly children, a traveling husband and is at her wit's end... an escaped pooping dog is the least of her concerns at the present moment. (And no, that's not my personal story!) Call it grace...call it courtesy...but we could all give a little more and hope to receive some back.
5. The last one to stew on for today is Sympathy. Yes, it goes with Courtesy but to me, courtesy is choosing "not" to chew someone's head off, tell them their #1 w/ your finger (shame on you!) or any other lack of respect gesture or comment. Sympathy is actually wearing their situation. You know the saying, you haven't walked a mile in their shoes. Well I am here to say that you might benefit from at least trying them on. No, this doesn't mean you sign up for the next season of wife swap, but it does mean you seek to understand what others are going through. Compassion, my friends, is a life-changer. When we stop to find compassion/have sympathy on those around us, those we come into contact with... it gives us a holy perspective that we are all weak and frail. That humility, most often, makes our lives brighten up... not by comparison...but realizing we're not the only one on this earth going through something.
Wishing you the best as you let this soak in. Let me know what you think; which "number" spoke to you the most?
I thought long and hard about the title of my entry... all of about 15 seconds. I was going to title it "10 ideas to change the world," but quite honestly, if I was sitting down with a cup of tea, coffee or wine... I wouldn't want to read how to change the world. It's enough to get a shower, blow dry AND curl my eyelashes... so changing the world? Another day, another season perhaps. So, after weighing out my "go get 'em" persona and my "are you kidding me?" persona...both win. Overwhelmed mom gets the title and my "go get 'em" alter ego gets the content.
The mom in me says its easy to get ourselves into a routine and quite frankly, that routine can be full of mundane and isolating activities. I realized this was the first time in over 30 days I have had time to myself without someone under 52" needing my attention. Still, my toddler is jumping up and down in the crib and I realize, with a slight attitude of defeat, that this means my ambitious afternoon hopes are in serious jeopardy because my little one will be a nightmare without a nap... making our upcoming playdate look more like a scene from a underfunded, understaffed child care center. Oh joy.
So how do we do it... how do we shake up our day, put on a happy face and do more than just "hope" for a happier existence and disposition? I heard these 10 ideas last week and thought I would pass them on... having gone through the "burbs" filter, of course! Chew on these and I'll throw you the other 5 soon!
1. Meet frequently with others. We are created to be in community with other people. No one was supposed to raise children, support and run their household by driving into our garage and shutting the garage door behind us, never to see another soul. Set up people that you can meet with regularly, even if the kiddos are running around outside or in a Starbucks; get in front of the same people on a consistent basis. Set up a potluck dinner group and get over the fact that you don't have perfect place settings. I don't remember a gathering where I remembered the napkin holders more than the people and the food that was shared.
2. Be authentic. Stop trying to be perfect... til you get to Heaven you are going to fall short every time so give it up! People sense authenticity and quite frankly, its refreshing. You never know when your honesty is going to "give permission" for someone else to not be so hard on themselves. It's amazing how much we compare to one another but if we aren't real, then we're comparing against a version that doesn't exist.
3. Get some friends. Together, we are stronger. We weren't created to do everything on our own. I remember asking my mom how on earth our grandmothers raised so many children in the house without losing their marbles. My mom's first reponse is that they didn't do it alone. We as a culture used to live closer to extended family who would help carry the load and relied on neighbors to "form a village" and support one another. The fact is, that if you try and do it all yourself you are going to burn out. People are genuinely created to want to help, most often we just don't know how to jump in... so let 'em know! Let someone else receive satisfaction for helping you out and in turn, you'll get the break you need.
4. Refresh your courtesy "bucket." We all have one... its that bucket in your heart that gives grace to others that may test your patience, rub you the wrong way, etc. Everyone has their own history and unless we know it all, we have no idea what their story is and why they do what they do. The next person who cuts over at last minute may not, in fact, be a narcisstic jerk but might actually be driving this road for the first time. The neighbor who's dog pooped in your yard may be inside dealing with unruly children, a traveling husband and is at her wit's end... an escaped pooping dog is the least of her concerns at the present moment. (And no, that's not my personal story!) Call it grace...call it courtesy...but we could all give a little more and hope to receive some back.
5. The last one to stew on for today is Sympathy. Yes, it goes with Courtesy but to me, courtesy is choosing "not" to chew someone's head off, tell them their #1 w/ your finger (shame on you!) or any other lack of respect gesture or comment. Sympathy is actually wearing their situation. You know the saying, you haven't walked a mile in their shoes. Well I am here to say that you might benefit from at least trying them on. No, this doesn't mean you sign up for the next season of wife swap, but it does mean you seek to understand what others are going through. Compassion, my friends, is a life-changer. When we stop to find compassion/have sympathy on those around us, those we come into contact with... it gives us a holy perspective that we are all weak and frail. That humility, most often, makes our lives brighten up... not by comparison...but realizing we're not the only one on this earth going through something.
Wishing you the best as you let this soak in. Let me know what you think; which "number" spoke to you the most?
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Thank you and Goodnight
That term is always one of my favorites if I've pulled off the one-liner of the evening; "Thank you and goodnight. You've been great, really. Don't forget to tip your waitress." Once reigning as the Queen of wit, I used it often. Of course now, with mommy brain atrophe, its either seldom that I pull a witty comment out of my... ahem, pocket... or, my wit goes completely unnoticed by the trio of boys I share my days with.
It's a funny term though, when you think about it because in so many ways, it implies that we're done. As if we had nothing else to give. When performers use it, it truly is at the end of their act or routine. When I use the term, it's to get more kicks and giggles from my social audience (which probably consists of another couple who have come over for dinner and wine but hey, that is the biggest over-the-age-of-18 audience I may get all week. Of course I'm going to show off!) But for the most part, when someone says it, you know they are done; they won't be coming back unless you clap wildly enough that they come back for one or two more songs, jokes or whatever they charged you entirely too much to witness.
So, without getting too deep, the point is that we all have more than we think within us. This was really tested last week when I went through what felt like a week of "Corporate Wife Bootcamp." The weird thing is, I'm not a rookie when it comes to being at home with the kiddos while Chris travels. In fact, I'm the one offering up advice to newer "corporate wives" which mostly entails me lecturing husbands in front of their wives to "never discuss the exquisitive meal you just ate, the luxury hotel you just checked in to or the quiet flight you just flew on until you are BACK home and have helped out with the kids and the house. Pour your wife a glass of wine, let her sit down and then tell her all about it."
Since I have NO EXPECTATIONS that anyone, including myself, would read a long-wided blog about ANYTHING, let me recap my week, knowing that I will talk about this in more detail down the road:
1. Nolan recovering from broken collar bone.
2. Regan diagnosed with severe sinus infection.
3. Home officially goes on the market.
4. Evan picked up from Bible Study childcare with ruptured eardrum - 90 minute doctor office wait
5. Receive offer on home.
6. Negotiate offer on home. (Oh yes, that is an entirely different line on my list of chaos...its MY list!)
7. Clean home for 3 hours with help to make it "sparkle" for Broker's Open House in case offer falls through.
8. Awaken 5 times in night; 3 toddler wakes, 1 nightmare and a wet bed
8. Stay out of home during toddler's nap time for Open House.
9. Back to doctor; Evan bleeding out ear again and has croup.
10. 4 night wakings; 2 toddler, 1 nightmare and a wet bed. No, not a typo from above. :)
11. Rehabbing a torn deltoid muscle in my shoulder and elbow tendonitis at the same time.
Yeah... MEMORIES!!!!
OK... so the reality is last week really was one for the books. And yes, in case you are wondering...Chris was gone for that list. And this is not to throw my wonderful, loving, amazing husband under the bus... just tellin' you like it is.
The amazing thing about the human spirit, is that we truck on. I didn't die...although I thought I would at times. But here's a cheer to our good God who built us with that sense of "fight or flight" because my body definitely kicked in to both and we got the job done last week. There were so many times I wanted to cry out "Thank you and Good night" yet my body and spirit chugged along with amazing resilience. I would be lying through my 3x braces teeth if I told you that I didn't suffer any implications from the intensity of the week. I broke out with a cold sore (first in 5 years, man those are ugly!,) my body felt as if it got ran over by the UPS truck and I wasn't much more than a lump on the couch on Saturday afternoon. But, we got through it.
So here's my takeaway. Whatever you think you have going on in your life one, know that other people are dodging bullets and you aren't alone. Two, you are going to make it. Just make sure you have some delivery menus nearby, relinquish the thought of all 4 food groups being served at once and press-in to your inner strength. The world wants you to cry "Uncle." You have it in you to give an encore.
Thank you and good night. You've been great. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
It's a funny term though, when you think about it because in so many ways, it implies that we're done. As if we had nothing else to give. When performers use it, it truly is at the end of their act or routine. When I use the term, it's to get more kicks and giggles from my social audience (which probably consists of another couple who have come over for dinner and wine but hey, that is the biggest over-the-age-of-18 audience I may get all week. Of course I'm going to show off!) But for the most part, when someone says it, you know they are done; they won't be coming back unless you clap wildly enough that they come back for one or two more songs, jokes or whatever they charged you entirely too much to witness.
So, without getting too deep, the point is that we all have more than we think within us. This was really tested last week when I went through what felt like a week of "Corporate Wife Bootcamp." The weird thing is, I'm not a rookie when it comes to being at home with the kiddos while Chris travels. In fact, I'm the one offering up advice to newer "corporate wives" which mostly entails me lecturing husbands in front of their wives to "never discuss the exquisitive meal you just ate, the luxury hotel you just checked in to or the quiet flight you just flew on until you are BACK home and have helped out with the kids and the house. Pour your wife a glass of wine, let her sit down and then tell her all about it."
Since I have NO EXPECTATIONS that anyone, including myself, would read a long-wided blog about ANYTHING, let me recap my week, knowing that I will talk about this in more detail down the road:
1. Nolan recovering from broken collar bone.
2. Regan diagnosed with severe sinus infection.
3. Home officially goes on the market.
4. Evan picked up from Bible Study childcare with ruptured eardrum - 90 minute doctor office wait
5. Receive offer on home.
6. Negotiate offer on home. (Oh yes, that is an entirely different line on my list of chaos...its MY list!)
7. Clean home for 3 hours with help to make it "sparkle" for Broker's Open House in case offer falls through.
8. Awaken 5 times in night; 3 toddler wakes, 1 nightmare and a wet bed
8. Stay out of home during toddler's nap time for Open House.
9. Back to doctor; Evan bleeding out ear again and has croup.
10. 4 night wakings; 2 toddler, 1 nightmare and a wet bed. No, not a typo from above. :)
11. Rehabbing a torn deltoid muscle in my shoulder and elbow tendonitis at the same time.
Yeah... MEMORIES!!!!
OK... so the reality is last week really was one for the books. And yes, in case you are wondering...Chris was gone for that list. And this is not to throw my wonderful, loving, amazing husband under the bus... just tellin' you like it is.
The amazing thing about the human spirit, is that we truck on. I didn't die...although I thought I would at times. But here's a cheer to our good God who built us with that sense of "fight or flight" because my body definitely kicked in to both and we got the job done last week. There were so many times I wanted to cry out "Thank you and Good night" yet my body and spirit chugged along with amazing resilience. I would be lying through my 3x braces teeth if I told you that I didn't suffer any implications from the intensity of the week. I broke out with a cold sore (first in 5 years, man those are ugly!,) my body felt as if it got ran over by the UPS truck and I wasn't much more than a lump on the couch on Saturday afternoon. But, we got through it.
So here's my takeaway. Whatever you think you have going on in your life one, know that other people are dodging bullets and you aren't alone. Two, you are going to make it. Just make sure you have some delivery menus nearby, relinquish the thought of all 4 food groups being served at once and press-in to your inner strength. The world wants you to cry "Uncle." You have it in you to give an encore.
Thank you and good night. You've been great. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Failure
So I must admit, there was some horrible, selfish, prideful part of me that was delighted when I saw that people actually read my first post. Sick and wrong, I know; after all, this was just supposed to save me therapy money, right? Actually, a funny thing happened the day after I wrote it... I became consumed with the prospect of writing another entry! Ideas rolled into my head like a waves crashing in a coastal storm... I couldn't wait to get back to writing the next day but alas, time eluded me and by time I had visited the pediatrician for a double appointment (including shots, no less,) met with a real estate photographer for 90 minutes, completed my preschool carpool responsibilities, 2 quick errands and a physical therapy appointment well... it was me and a fine glass of wine, not the keyboard, that were destined to be together last night.
I'm glad I waited... there is a recurring thought that has bubbled up inside of me the last couple of days. A theme if you will, mostly for those English majors who are intuitively grading my writing (and good luck, there is not enough red Sharpie for this bad boy!) I also should mention that if you are linear like me, then you might be irked to learn we aren't talking more about goal setting. For the love of the Lord, this isn't a "how to" blog so just know I may come back to goal setting...but transition with me over to my bubbling theme for a few minutes here.
This last fall and as we open into 2011 have been a season of unexpected circumstances. I'm learning that when life changes up hard and fast, I make a lot of mistakes. Especially during intense periods and whooo wee... we are enduring some intense (but exciting no less) life right now! And we've all heard that if life throws you lemons, you make lemonade. Life isn't so much what happens to us, it certainly doesn't define us. It is what we do with it; how we react and more importantly, how we classify our experiences. Are they traumatic? Dehabilitating? Or are they learning experiences? How do we view failure? I know I certainly take failures and button them onto my sleeve as if to identify myself by them. I wear them personally instead of taking them as an opportunity to have a "growth spurt" in that area. Yes, I eventually get there but why do I spend so much time beating myeslf up over it?
Because I make it about me. It was my idea, my doing and my failure. What's worse is that I do NOT claim the same about my successes. Now those, whether my idea or not, are clearly God's act of work, not mine. Or, I assume a humility about the work accomplished as if it were no big deal. Why is that? Why do we brush off the success but confine ourselves, associate ourselves...wallow in our defeats? How many times have I offered up the advice, "We learn more in the valleys than the mountaintops." Dang nab...its true...I should listen to myself more often!
Now here is the clincher. We will fail. Time and time again. In many circumstances I have tricked myself into thinking if I don't try, then I can't fail. Wrong. I failed by not trying... certainly can't write a book if you never start. Can't lose those holiday pounds if you don't try (I could go on and on so I hope we got the point?) So you see, you just need to decide what you want to be faced with failing at. Because like I mentioned, failure is just an opportunity for a growth spurt if you fail while trying. I'm very much reminded of my son Evan's all-time (a-hem, he's 16 months old) favorite song by Toby Mac, Get Back Up. It's lyrics go:
And would you look at that, you COULD tie this back in to goal setting if you wanted to. :)
Happy failing!
I'm glad I waited... there is a recurring thought that has bubbled up inside of me the last couple of days. A theme if you will, mostly for those English majors who are intuitively grading my writing (and good luck, there is not enough red Sharpie for this bad boy!) I also should mention that if you are linear like me, then you might be irked to learn we aren't talking more about goal setting. For the love of the Lord, this isn't a "how to" blog so just know I may come back to goal setting...but transition with me over to my bubbling theme for a few minutes here.
This last fall and as we open into 2011 have been a season of unexpected circumstances. I'm learning that when life changes up hard and fast, I make a lot of mistakes. Especially during intense periods and whooo wee... we are enduring some intense (but exciting no less) life right now! And we've all heard that if life throws you lemons, you make lemonade. Life isn't so much what happens to us, it certainly doesn't define us. It is what we do with it; how we react and more importantly, how we classify our experiences. Are they traumatic? Dehabilitating? Or are they learning experiences? How do we view failure? I know I certainly take failures and button them onto my sleeve as if to identify myself by them. I wear them personally instead of taking them as an opportunity to have a "growth spurt" in that area. Yes, I eventually get there but why do I spend so much time beating myeslf up over it?
Because I make it about me. It was my idea, my doing and my failure. What's worse is that I do NOT claim the same about my successes. Now those, whether my idea or not, are clearly God's act of work, not mine. Or, I assume a humility about the work accomplished as if it were no big deal. Why is that? Why do we brush off the success but confine ourselves, associate ourselves...wallow in our defeats? How many times have I offered up the advice, "We learn more in the valleys than the mountaintops." Dang nab...its true...I should listen to myself more often!
Now here is the clincher. We will fail. Time and time again. In many circumstances I have tricked myself into thinking if I don't try, then I can't fail. Wrong. I failed by not trying... certainly can't write a book if you never start. Can't lose those holiday pounds if you don't try (I could go on and on so I hope we got the point?) So you see, you just need to decide what you want to be faced with failing at. Because like I mentioned, failure is just an opportunity for a growth spurt if you fail while trying. I'm very much reminded of my son Evan's all-time (a-hem, he's 16 months old) favorite song by Toby Mac, Get Back Up. It's lyrics go:
"So if you lose your way, you get back up again. It's never too late, to get back up again. One day, you gonna shine again. You may get knocked down but not down forever."So maybe this applies to an entire season of your life right now. Maybe it applies to a journey you're afraid to take. I guess as it relates to the New Year, maybe it's a call to step onto the road less traveled, the one that looks like it needs a good weedwacker and certainly doesn't come with a GPS. Maybe you just need to get in the car and start up the old engine, check to see if Bessie is still running. I know for me its just a personal, but relief-filled way to know that at least I am trying! No matter what, I think its just a good reminder that God doesn't let us master everything we put our hands to the first time. If we did, we'd never really be able to see his work in our lives.
And would you look at that, you COULD tie this back in to goal setting if you wanted to. :)
Happy failing!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
I thought blogging was one big Facebook status update
So this is it... my very first blog post and I actually had to narrow down the dozen of topics I was going to post as my first entry. This is big, right? I mean, this blog will be read my mom and husband... we're talking BIG READER BASE so certainly I have to put hours of thought and focus into this, right? :)
Not that I haven't been in print before but this is what is coming out of MY head, without any editor sending it back for a re-write. Actually, a scary thought; there are thousands of people just blogging what is in their head; who has time to read other people's thoughts anyway?
Well, I thought I would treat myself (and you if you are reading this) to my first blog post after I finished writing an article for the website I contribute to. You see, January is all about resolutions and after having a great, but daunting conversation on New Year's Eve with my husband, I finally came to the realization that I needed to set some goals. Not resolutions, goals. And I'm scared to death! What if I don't set the right goal? What if I miss the mark? I could play the fear card all day long but in truth, its just a great distraction from actually sitting down to write goals... and lets face it, why jump into something you don't necessarily want to do, but know is good for you? You've seen the gym parking lots already... jam packed on January 3rd. Busiest section of my gym? The coffee lounge. A perfect example of not quite "jumping" into the New Year resolution to get fit.
My husband is the ULTIMATE goal setter; its truly amazing to watch him get jazzed up over this stuff. I approached the entire topic with about as much enthusiasm as going to the dentist. I won't get my teeth cleaned without laughing gas and I was pretty sure I didn't want to set goals without taking a hit of nitrous oxide first. All that being said, I realized goal setting was the same as sitting down to eat an elephant. You start one bite at a time.
So was it really that I wanted to start goal setting because I know I should? Maybe. I definitely got revelation that for the last few years, I haven't done any goal setting and what do you know... I haven't hit any goals either. Because I know my mom will read this, I must give her credit to the obvious. Yes, I have 3 boys under the age of 8; yes, I have a traveling husband and yes, we moved away from our hometown 3 years ago but still, shouldn't every person have something they are striving (in a good way) towards? So I guess you are the lucky (I hope) recipient of my thoughts on screen so that I can achieve my goal of freelance writing but also this blog. However, you must also know that what actually moved me to begin this journey is reading my hubby's blog post. (Can you see it? Hmmmph, if he can, then I can!) I get it now. I can't just set the goal, I have to actually DO something about it. So here I am, at the library as its closing trying to get these words in before they kick me out.
So seriously, enough of the intro, lets circle back to the title of this blog post and truly call this for what it is... my thoughts, on a screen... period. For me, I consider it a $25 savings over the cost of not having to sit on a leather couch and tell someone about my very funny life living in middle class America. By hacking away on the keyboard (I'm sure the word hacking just sent 3 FBI agents across the room to open a file on me) I can avoid the therapist, get some things off my chest and I am hoping, just hoping...to either make you laugh, cry or somewhere in between. And maybe, just maybe there will be some revelation for you too.
Eight minutes until lockdown here at the public library... better shut down. Oh, why write at the library? Have you CALLED my house during the day? Any vendor, relative, neighbor or solicitor will tell you that its hard to hear my voice when they call... so thinking coherently enough to type while my little love bugs are awake is not an option!
I shared my goal of 2011; to write more...what's yours?
Not that I haven't been in print before but this is what is coming out of MY head, without any editor sending it back for a re-write. Actually, a scary thought; there are thousands of people just blogging what is in their head; who has time to read other people's thoughts anyway?
Well, I thought I would treat myself (and you if you are reading this) to my first blog post after I finished writing an article for the website I contribute to. You see, January is all about resolutions and after having a great, but daunting conversation on New Year's Eve with my husband, I finally came to the realization that I needed to set some goals. Not resolutions, goals. And I'm scared to death! What if I don't set the right goal? What if I miss the mark? I could play the fear card all day long but in truth, its just a great distraction from actually sitting down to write goals... and lets face it, why jump into something you don't necessarily want to do, but know is good for you? You've seen the gym parking lots already... jam packed on January 3rd. Busiest section of my gym? The coffee lounge. A perfect example of not quite "jumping" into the New Year resolution to get fit.
My husband is the ULTIMATE goal setter; its truly amazing to watch him get jazzed up over this stuff. I approached the entire topic with about as much enthusiasm as going to the dentist. I won't get my teeth cleaned without laughing gas and I was pretty sure I didn't want to set goals without taking a hit of nitrous oxide first. All that being said, I realized goal setting was the same as sitting down to eat an elephant. You start one bite at a time.
So was it really that I wanted to start goal setting because I know I should? Maybe. I definitely got revelation that for the last few years, I haven't done any goal setting and what do you know... I haven't hit any goals either. Because I know my mom will read this, I must give her credit to the obvious. Yes, I have 3 boys under the age of 8; yes, I have a traveling husband and yes, we moved away from our hometown 3 years ago but still, shouldn't every person have something they are striving (in a good way) towards? So I guess you are the lucky (I hope) recipient of my thoughts on screen so that I can achieve my goal of freelance writing but also this blog. However, you must also know that what actually moved me to begin this journey is reading my hubby's blog post. (Can you see it? Hmmmph, if he can, then I can!) I get it now. I can't just set the goal, I have to actually DO something about it. So here I am, at the library as its closing trying to get these words in before they kick me out.
So seriously, enough of the intro, lets circle back to the title of this blog post and truly call this for what it is... my thoughts, on a screen... period. For me, I consider it a $25 savings over the cost of not having to sit on a leather couch and tell someone about my very funny life living in middle class America. By hacking away on the keyboard (I'm sure the word hacking just sent 3 FBI agents across the room to open a file on me) I can avoid the therapist, get some things off my chest and I am hoping, just hoping...to either make you laugh, cry or somewhere in between. And maybe, just maybe there will be some revelation for you too.
Eight minutes until lockdown here at the public library... better shut down. Oh, why write at the library? Have you CALLED my house during the day? Any vendor, relative, neighbor or solicitor will tell you that its hard to hear my voice when they call... so thinking coherently enough to type while my little love bugs are awake is not an option!
I shared my goal of 2011; to write more...what's yours?
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