Failure

So I must admit, there was some horrible, selfish, prideful part of me that was delighted when I saw that people actually read my first post.  Sick and wrong, I know;  after all, this was just supposed to save me therapy money, right?  Actually, a funny thing happened the day after I wrote it... I became consumed with the prospect of writing another entry!  Ideas rolled into my head like a waves crashing in a coastal storm... I couldn't wait to get back to writing the next day but alas, time eluded me and by time I had visited the pediatrician for a double appointment (including shots, no less,) met with a real estate photographer for 90 minutes, completed my preschool carpool responsibilities, 2 quick errands and a physical therapy appointment well... it was me and a fine glass of wine, not the keyboard, that were destined to be together last night.

I'm glad I waited... there is a recurring thought that has bubbled up inside of me the last couple of days.  A theme if you will, mostly for those English majors who are intuitively grading my writing (and good luck, there is not enough red Sharpie for this bad boy!)  I also should mention that if you are linear like me, then you might be irked to learn we aren't talking more about goal setting.  For the love of the Lord, this isn't a "how to" blog so just know I may come back to goal setting...but transition with me over to my bubbling theme for a few minutes here. 

This last fall and as we open into 2011 have been a season of unexpected circumstances.  I'm learning that when life changes up hard and fast, I make a lot of mistakes.  Especially during intense periods and whooo wee... we are enduring some intense (but exciting no less) life right now!  And we've all heard that if life throws you lemons, you make lemonade.  Life isn't so much what happens to us, it certainly doesn't define us.  It is what we do with it; how we react and more importantly, how we classify our experiences.  Are they traumatic?  Dehabilitating?  Or are they learning experiences?  How do we view failure?  I know I certainly take failures and button them onto my sleeve as if to identify myself by them.  I wear them personally instead of taking them as an opportunity to have a "growth spurt" in that area.  Yes, I eventually get there but why do I spend so much time beating myeslf up over it? 

Because I make it about me.  It was my idea, my doing and my failure.  What's worse is that I do NOT claim the same about my successes.  Now those, whether my idea or not, are clearly God's act of work, not mine.  Or, I assume a humility about the work accomplished as if it were no big deal.  Why is that?  Why do we brush off the success but confine ourselves, associate ourselves...wallow in our defeats?  How many times have I offered up the advice, "We learn more in the valleys than the mountaintops."  Dang nab...its true...I should listen to myself more often!

Now here is the clincher.  We will fail.  Time and time again.  In many circumstances I have tricked myself into thinking if I don't try, then I can't fail.  Wrong.  I failed by not trying... certainly can't write a book if you never start.  Can't lose those holiday pounds if you don't try (I could go on and on so I hope we got the point?)  So you see, you just need to decide what you want to be faced with failing at.  Because like I mentioned, failure is just an opportunity for a growth spurt if you fail while trying.  I'm very much reminded of my son Evan's all-time (a-hem, he's 16 months old) favorite song by Toby Mac, Get Back Up.  It's lyrics go:

"So if you lose your way, you get back up again.  It's never too late, to get back up again.  One day, you gonna shine again.  You may get knocked down but not down forever."

So maybe this applies to an entire season of your life right now.  Maybe it applies to a journey you're afraid to take.  I guess as it relates to the New Year, maybe it's a call to step onto the road less traveled, the one that looks like it needs a good weedwacker and certainly doesn't come with a GPS.  Maybe you just need to get in the car and start up the old engine, check to see if Bessie is still running.  I know for me its just a personal, but relief-filled way to know that at least I am trying!  No matter what, I think its just a good reminder that God doesn't let us master everything we put our hands to the first time.  If we did, we'd never really be able to see his work in our lives.

And would you look at that, you COULD tie this back in to goal setting if you wanted to.  :)
Happy failing!