What you do matters!

I spend most of my time encouraging other moms to stop and rest.

Well, now, like so many other things in life, I'm telling you to do the exact opposite.

What?

Shut the front door.

(No... I am not drinking...well, other than my 3rd cup of coffee.  Stop judging, get back to reading...like YOU didn't hit the Starbucks drive through this morning, Ms skinny Venti Gingerbread Latte woman?)

Sorry.

Little fired up over here.

It struck me that after my last post, Litmus tests for moms, that we do a lot.... I mean... a TON.  Not just as moms but as wives, friends, neighbors and daughters.  If you are dude reading this, please simply insert your own titles here.... because I love my dude readers but lets be honest here...most y'all reading this have a uterus so I'm just keeping my audience targeted, okay?

And I love that I have a husband who really, truly believes and more importantly, TELLS PEOPLE that I keep this ship running around here.  It's also, of course, what makes me the:

• Debbie Downer
• Military Drill Sergeant
• Prudish Penny

I mean, lets face it, bottoms aren't wiped clean, noses run, fingers become silverware utensils, shin guards get moldy and kids get left at school like abandoned kittens if its just all fun and games all day long!!!

Honest though?

If we're going to be real....

Sometimes, I have a hard time seeing how important I really am!!!

I know, I know... we all long for that moment when our son or daughter is accepting a distinguished award and they get up on the podium, shake hands and then nervously lean into the microphone to say, 

"I just want to thank my mom.  For everything.  I would not be here today if it wasn't for her."

But until that time...what are we left with to validate just how hard we work?
It dawned on me this morning...as I was talking to a friend who had 30 minutes to pack her bags and get out the door to the airport.

(Remember the days when you used to start laying your clothes out for an upcoming trip DAYS before?   Snort.)

You need to go away, mom.
Go somewhere... without your kids.... even if it is just 24 hours.
Here's why:

It will force you to deploy operation: "life without mom."  

DISCLAIMER: THIS CANNOT BE DONE WITHOUT ADVANCE NOTICE TO ALL PARTIES.... I REPEAT... ADVANCE NOTICE TO ALL PARTIES REQUIRED!

Why?  Because this is what needs to happen in order for you to hang up your mom hat for a period of time:

1.  Food and meals will need to be prepared in advance.  Low hanging fruit, low hanging fruit people!  Easy to peel, easy to heat, easy to serve meals that do not entirely consist of cold cereal...which is what would happen if you did not shop specifically for the time you were going to be gone.  

2.  Absolutely every bit of clothing must be washed, dried, folded and delivered to its appropriate room.  Might I suggest putting it away yourself this time so that little Johnny does not even ATTEMPT to design his own outfit should you miss something like picture day, share day, line leader day, etc....any day where a photo might be taken.

3.  The house must be cleaned.  Listen people... your home will be operating on a power play....it will not even be close to man-to-man coverage.  It's about minimizing risks... you can't afford for little feet to step on legos, less you have prepared emergency first aid kits readily available in every room.  You will not be there to search for Barbie's chiropractic-adjustments-required-high-heel-shoes that are currently located under the ottoman.  You know this because you know...and you are there... and when you leave... you won't be able to hear..."moooooommmmmmmmmmmm" from every room in the house.  Clean now...thank me later.

4.  Carpools.  Oh... I cannot stress this enough...get on it early... make an excel spreadsheet and stock up on homemade jam, Starbucks cards, and candles.... while the suck-up gifts are not necessarily needed right now, you better believe they are the second time you ask!!!  Should you ask to reciprocate in the future?  Absolutely?  Do I ever get taken up on it?  No...because everyone else seems to have their cr*p together!!!!  (Gotta keep it clean for the Pastors who read this!)

5.  Carpools..again....because this is 2 number worthy.  Once you have carpools you need to confirm, re-confirm, make sure everyone has the cell phone number and PAD THE TIME TO HAVE YOUR KID READY BY 15 MINUTES!  Trust you me, that mini-van driving mama with 3 hollering kids on her way to the Birthday party is in NO MOOD to have YOUR kid the one who's running late.  You want your kids taken for a ride in the future... you need to plan and visualize for your child curb-side and ready to load like a passenger waiting for a taxi at  Chicago O'Hare... MOVE IT KIDDO!

6.  Lastly, you'll need a Word Doc or email outlining the exact schedule of the time you will be gone.  No...not what you  are doing...but what everyone else needs to be doing.  Exact location of back-packs, water-bottles, wrapped birthday presents, field locations for game days, etc. After all, you won't be there to do all of what you do.  I will NEVER throw my husband under the bus, but even if I were to leave my hubby in charge of the whole house for a couple of days, I would need to put some of our dirty little secrets in writing:

• My oldest son will try and sneak through the day without brushing his teeth...you have to smell his mouth before sending out the door or tucking in at night.
• One son likes the cran-apple juice in his lunch, the other is straight apple-juice.  Do NOT confuse the two.
• You must hold my youngest son's penis when peeing in the potty... he doesn't want to.  Yes... I am being absolutely serious here.
• One son needs door open, one son needs door closed and one needs door closed but sound-maker on to a specific noise in order to fall asleep.  Get it wrong and you'll have 3 "second-wind night owls who resemble a Red-Bull addict.

Just sayin...

So moms... don't be defeated by this list... get your hero cape on and make it happen.. you know how to sling a child on one hip, correct homework and listen to a squeaky, want-to-poke-your-eyes-out rendition of Amazing Grace on the recorder all at the same time.... now just write all of that down for the person who is going to take your place for a day or two....or three.... or... 

oh, now I'm just daydreaming....

Happy Trails!

Oh hey wait...before I hit 10,000 feet this morning ...tell me about how YOU get out of town?  Tips?  Do you avoid it because it is just too much work or do you have it down to a science?