The solution for over-committed families

After another over-loaded, over-committed Turnley weekend, lets just say I didn't wake up feeling refreshed.  There was no "Carpe Diem!"

Hungover?  No.

Just plain under-rested, over-scheduled?  Yes.
(And, since if you were a therapist taking notes giving me that look, would I also admit I stayed up too late catching up on Facebook?  Okay, FINE... Yes... YES.... YES I DID!)

(And why oh why do I have an obsession about making sure I "like" everyone's posts??? Cyber-praise?)

At least by 9:30pm I told myself to go to bed and read before my novel was due back at the library.
(What, you were hoping I'd say I was in the middle of some great biography...or more laughable... a parenting book?)

Bahhhaaa..  Haaa... haaaa!

No.  I can't read those books at night; they get me all riled up stack-ranking myself against people who have a book written about them (as if that's comparable.... as IF I'm supposed to be ranking myself AT ALL!) or condemning myself for being a slacker parent (curse you, parenting book authors!)

So, no.... a novel.... and thank goodness, lights were out at 10:22, I was out by 10:30 (near record) and don't remember a thing until Regan shook me awake at 7:08 a.m.

I know many would argue that is a ton of sleep.  Oh no, my friends, that is the MINIMUM this mamasita needs to make it each day when my husband is out of town.  A 3 on 1 power play, ESPN would argue, is complete zone defense... I mean... game ON!

Factor in a "normal" night sleep without any waking up for sleep-walkers, bed-wetters or bad-dreams and you're waking up playing at par, you know?

Women, bear with me through all the sports analogies... I can't just talk about contractions, shaving and trips to the bus stop and expect my guy readers to make it through. 

Track back to the weekend... busy.  BUSY!  A mellow Friday night but partially because every Friday we're committed to sitting in traffic for 35 minutes to travel 4.5 miles to scour (politely) with 150 other SUV's for one of 125 parking stalls so that my six year old can learn to play soccer in 30 minutes and then scrimmage for another 30 minutes.  Oh yes, right at 5:30 on a Friday night.  There's no casual conversation at 5:35... its "MOVE, MOVE, MOVE" so we can try and get out of the lot before... you guessed it.... all the other cars.  Race, race race to get home because we're pretty sure the chicken in the oven is now jerky OR a fire-starter.  Phew, just dehydrated...chuck some sauce on it and it will be fine! What else can we microwave to throw some sort of food resembling a dinner onto the table by 7:15...which oh by the way, is my 3 year old's BEDTIME!

I'm no therapist, but I'm beginning to see why my kids are so high strung....hmmmmm..... 

Up Saturday morning to a soccer game.... go son go.... then in the car to Cle Elum for a family reunion.  Five bodies in one small room.... mmmmm.... good nighttime memories of NO SLEEP and let's not forget that we can't REALLY be ourselves in the morning because oh, that's right, we're around extended family.... so I pray silently to myself that no one is a "top of the mornin' to you" kind of cheery-o leprechaun because I fear I might kick them if they talk to me in the morning.

(Disclaimer: if you are reading this and are related to me I truly did have a good time and enjoyed seeing everyone but no one wants to read a sappy blog.. I might as well post my homemade flaxseed cookies and child's artwork.)

Roll up the sleeping bags... search for socks, iPods and baseball hats because its 1..2.... 3... strikes your out, gotta get the kids to the old....Mariner's ball..... game for our nephew's Birthday Party at Safeco Field.  Yes.  In Seattle.  Yes... that is 80 miles West of Cle Elum.  Yes... it does take 30 minutes to cover the first 4 miles of unpaved roads in the mini-van.  Yes, we also own a 4-runner.  Yes...that WOULD have been a better vehicle to take off-road in Cle Elum but duh.... we have 3 children and can't go on a road trip in an SUV unless we duct taped them to the ski rack on top.

Back from the park-n-ride after child drop-off to go home and unload.  Must get unpacked and littlest one down for a nap before we turn around to pick the other kiddos UP from the baseball game party.  Mommy was too tired (heaven forbid) to get all 7 loads of laundry done before we left so I better get into overdrive and get that done or daddy has no underwear for his trip to Chicago.  T-minus 4 hours and counting til Daddy needs to catch that flight...wash, wash, wash!!!  3 duffle bags unloaded and we did it!  Just 22 miles one way to pick up the kids.... ooooh....gooodie.... arrived just in time for the sugar crash and the effects of sleep deprivation and stimulus overload.... yeah me!!!

Back to home.
Reality.

I'm wiped.  My boys are wiped.  I am on a POWER PLAY.  Zone defense.  Bring it (again)!

1.  Top Ramen for dinner.  With fruit slices on a plate because it's not like I lost MY MIND, after all.
2.  Zone out time.  That meant one played in their room alone.  One watched football on TV and one took a shower so long that it ran the hot water tank out.  So what.
3.  Upstairs to read at 7:15.  That's right.  45 minutes early.

Unwind... Turnley family...unwind.....

I don't have passive, pleaser children...so let's not kid ourselves.  That evening included about 4 fits, one "I hate you" and even one "I feel like killing myself all because of you!" (stomp, stomp, stomp.)

Developmentally tracking for their age?  Check.

But, I know that sleep deprivation is a form of torture in some countries.  I also know that we subject patients to a strobe light to induce seizures and I'm pretty sure some of our days feel like a strobe light to  my children.... and me!

And so.... we rested.  As best as we could.  As best as we knew how... the Turnley family isn't going to go from Mock 90 to zen in a day.  But, we do believe:


Psalm 23:2-3 New Living Translation (NLT)
2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
    he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3     He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
    bringing honor to his name.

God WANTS US to have some down time.  Are our days numbered?  Yes.  Is our life over in an instant?  Yes.  Are we supposed to make the most of every day?  Yes, but it doesn't mean we aren't to be INTENTIONAL about our down time, either.

And so we chilled.

You know, I had a COMPLETELY different idea about what my point was when I started ...obviously, God wanted to take it somewhere else.  Perhaps it was just for my own sake... to see how truly fast and hard we run as a family... to give ourselves more grace to be still.  Unwind.  Chill.  Maybe it's even okay to (gasp) sit and watch a football game on TV with my boys.  (Although I refuse to do that hands down the pants thing.)  And although my laundry multiplied like bunnies, I swear.... no one went without clothing for 48 hours while I ignored my laundry.

Maybe I was writing this for someone else...because often I don't think my own life is out of balance at all, but when I hear about someone else' life its easy for me to think, "Girl... you need to learn how to say No!  I could never keep my kids up that late!"  (I love how easy it is to see everyone else's problems..I'm so GOOD at it!)

Whatever the case, I have to trust that this was supposed to be the material I post.  I know if I re-read this... it will never make it past the editing floor.

Loyal readers... will you PLEASE speak up on FB or at the end of my post and let me know if this spoke to you?  I pray I was simply being "the vehicle."

 Cause it's either that or I'm thinkin' I need even more sleep!!!

Curious...how do you play a role in helping your family maintain balance?  Post your thoughts!