Do you "BBD?"

It is funny what people actually read on Facebook.  No doubt, I have seen its usage decline over the last year...and quite frankly...thank you Jesus because that application is simply a time vortex that sucks you in and before you know it, you've downed a glass of wine and been snooping through people's lives for over an hour....

Uh, I mean....that is what I have heard happens to people.  Me?  Oh no...never...just on to uh....wish people happy birthday and "like" their children's pictures.

OK, fine...you caught me... every now and then...I do.  I get sucked in.  Sure enough, I make a vow to get off and a few days go by.  Inevitably, I will miss a neighbor's birthday, miss out some great groupon and not "like" someone's heartfelt post in a timely manner which will shun me from that person's life.

But, every now and then I will use Facebook to update my own status.  Yes...its probably the only way people get to my Blog (which is just another testament that I really don't need my blog to hit skyrocketing numbers although I am secretly wishing Huffington Post would knock on my proverbial door and ask me to be a featured writer) but oh my goodness where was I....Yes...Facebook... occasionally I will post a status.  Mostly sarcastic...shocking...but sometimes you just need a good outlet besides your husband who now knows better than to call during my afternoon "work time" because heaven forbid the afternoon isn't allowing me to get 432 things done in the 90 minutes that my toddler naps in the afternoon.  Poor guy gets an earful...stupid iPod won't sync....stupid iPhone won't update my calendar.... stupid printer ran out of ink....

oh yeah, aren't I the Song of Solomon to my husband's ears?

Don't you want to just race home to me...who is probably ranting on the phone with my "can't see a thing without them" glasses, once-sweaty-but-now-dried-ponytail hair and quite-used workout wear.  Sexy.   


AnyHOO... I posted a rant about people who play the "BBD" game and how much it drives me nuts.  Someone actually messaged me to say that I should blog about it.  (Someone actually reads my blog... you love me, you really love me!)  And so here we go...

Do you BBD? Not familiar with the analogy?  Let's unpack it: Do you "Bigger Better Deal" people?  You know.... not respond to an invite right away because you want to see if there is something better that you might get invited to? Oh...we had friends of ours a few years back who were infamous for it.... enough so that we would call them on it.  The first to open up an evite but the last to respond.  Social bugs that they were...they were always receiving multiple invitations and so quite often...they would have to choose.  We learned to make our events sound so fabulous that they couldn't help BUT to say yes to ours.  Then, we learned...they would just "no show" if some amazing rock-star opportunity arose at the last minute.  And hey, when you work for a PR firm...sometimes they really did get rock star opportunities!

Rude you say?  Sure.  Forgivable?  Sure.  Drive you nuts?  You bet.

But I believe the BBD'ing, so to speak, that I was referencing on my Facebook post was directed more towards the people who wait to see who else is attending before they commit to your event.  As if having MY COMPANY on the ticket isn't enough???  Isn't it?  ISN'T IT?????

(Chuckling to myself, by the way....)

And so, earlier this week, I was included on an Evite that had quite a few people on it.  Before I go on, let me just say that I am absolutely guilty of what I am about to write about.  (Disclaimer...the author has never pretended to be perfect and has been quoted in the past for her "I am NOT Jesus in the flesh... I am a work in progress!"  And yes, now I have just gone 3rd person...how cheesy.)  Okay, now that I have that out of the way... it was amazing to watch the social antics ensue.  We have the immediate responses, the "maybes" because they have to check with someone and then, what I find fascinating..is the "viewed but not responded."

Ahhhhh....the "viewed but not responded."  What is the deal?  I know there is a "I need to check and see" attitude but seriously, you are on your iPhone/ipad/mac/pc and can see your calendar right then and there.  I will, let all of the "let me check w/ the other half and get back to you" people off the hook.... you are free to leave.... America has voted...and you are safe.

Sadly, I fear (could it be that I know because I have done this myself???) that some people are hesitant to respond because they need to see what the rest of the guest list does?  Will the event be popular?  Will so-and-so be there?  I don't like big crowds, is it going to be too big?  I had a falling out with so-and-so, is she/he coming?  Oh, he/she is coming and they are always the ham of the party, they make me feel insecure... do I still feel comfortable attending or will that cause me to stay home?  I don't want to appear to eager, maybe I should hold back for a day or so?  I'll only go if so-and-so goes.  Well... here is what I think about all of that self-talk:

"If God is for us, who can be against us?" -Romans 8:31 NIV


Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. -Proverbs 29:24-26


Why cut yourself short?  Why let man (woman) dictate how you live life?  If you want to be somewhere... go do something... go!....do!... don't let others influence you!  YOU and YOU ALONE have a unique plan and purpose that God has already written onto your heart.  Follow it!  


I know, I know... I am making an entire mountain out of mole hill.  But you have to look at the big picture. What I am talking about here is people limiting their own choices based on what other people are doing (or not doing.)  No one else shares your walk.  Don't let another person...mere person... hold you back.  I know, its a simple stinkin Evite event, but I really hope you are able to chew on this and see that every time we let someone's presence dictate our next action...we've replaced God's plan for us with their plan.  And its so easy.


So what's a girl to do?  (Or guy to do..since I know their are some AWESOME DUDES out there who read my blog!!!)   Just go with your heart...its where God lives... if you are unsure...pray about it- God says his path of righteousness is filled with peace (my version) but for goodness sakes...its just a stinkin' Evite!!!!!  


So go if you want to go, decline if you can't make it or you aren't interested.  Bless the hostess with your quick reply and you know what.... YOUR response may give just the right dose of courage to the next person to finally reply to their own invite!






Thoughts?  I'd love thoughts on this.... do you ever find yourself in this situation?  Why do you think we do this?  Does my rant help?  :)