What to give your child for Christmas Part 2 of 2

Well I am the first to admit it.  I am a hypocrite.  I mean, a big one!!!  If you are spiritual and bible reading, you can just holler "Pharisee" and if none of that rings a bell... well, just stick with hypocrite.  '

You see, I wrote this great entry about what to give your child for Christmas... a list that was obviously filled to the brim with knowledge and wisdom... mostly because I didn't write it.  :)  I was just putting my own slant and getting it out there, you know?  And I do agree, its an outstanding list, one I think EVERY PARENT could benefit from.  I think the problem was that I didn't read it.  Oh, I read it...but mostly to proofread before I sent it out.  Ha!  Should have read the words again.  Because this weekend I really gave the gift that nobody wants to receive...one big stressed out parent.

(Big breath.  "There is no condemnation in Christ.  There is no condemnation in Christ.)  Really, it was about trying to have it all.  An early trip to Target to score a Christmas gift, losing my husband's keys so he was locked out of the house (with the kids in 35 degree weather) for an hour, a gymnastic "exhibition" (because "recital" is soooo not cool when you're a boy,) church, a bridal shower, Christmas party and then finally.... lets not forget trying to decorate our Christmas tree.  Holly Jolly?  I think not.  I was running from one thing to the next, holding my breath and by Sunday evening, I was so grouchy that even the grinch would have been a little unnerved.  Oh yeah, there was no "tis the reason for the season" in my world.... I was a train wreck!  So, I've gone back to read my Part 1 (and if you had a weekend close to mine, maybe you should too!) and am ready to write a "real world" version of Part 2...so here we go.... top 10 gifts to give your child this Christmas season:

6.  Reinforce attitudes of Faith.  Listen up... I don't really care at this point who you call God, if you believe there is a God or if you are praying to Jesus all day long...we can all benefit from this one, friends!  Develop a no tolerance policy for pity, whining and tantrums.  Fast forward 25 years into your life... does that work for you?  How does whining go over at your workplace?  Or to your spouse?  I'm assuming its not a victorious move and if you manipulate someone to get what you want, then I guess you better get ready for your child to do the same to you!  But let's talk reality here... we don't NEED to give in to "terrible two's" or an 8 year old telling us we're the worst parent ever (and thank you Jesus, that hasn't personally happened to me yet!) but what we can do is reinforce the truth when they go down the path of pity or poor behavior.  Our children DESPERATELY SEEK BOUNDARIES IN A CULTURE THAT PROVIDES VERY FEW.  The healthiest thing we can do is correct those attitudes, in love, but make it clear that they aren't acceptable ways to behave.

7.  Develop a dependence outside of yourself.  We have raised an entire generation of "everyone makes the team," "every one's a winner", etc.  While this is great for a lot of children's self esteems... it manifested two attitudes amongst a lot of our youth; 1: I can do anything I want to do if I just put my mind to it and 2: I don't know how to deal with failure.  The reality is that God made you unique, special, and designed to carry out a certain path of your life to bring glory to his name.  So, actually, you can't be a rocket scientist if you had to cheat off of your neighbor's paper in 11th grade physics.  We can't be all to everyone... and the quicker we accept it (and trust you me...if this were a game of Candyland, I'd be stuck in the licorice forest myself,) we can finally be victorious in realizing we were not designed to "do" life on our own.  When our children see this, they won't grow up with the pressure of thinking that they can "do it all, have it all, be it all."  Quite frankly, that's pretty overwhelming for a lot of people...so imagine a child's capacity to understand! 

The best way to model this is to just pray truthfully and from the heart. Pray in front of your kids; prayer is just talking from the heart.  The more complicated you make it...the more religious it looks, the more you will drive your children away from it.... after all, who has the vocabulary of a Pope at age 7?  This may make some of you pee your pants but its perfectly okay to say/pray "God, I'm really bummed out I didn't get that promotion today."  "God, help me find the strength to stay out of the cookie jar."  "God, I trust that you will help me find my husband's car keys!"  Whatever it is, let your children learn that its okay to cry out for a helper outside of themselves...it will be a valuable tool hidden in their heart for the rest of their lives!

8.  Find a place to pray.  I'm going to keep this short and sweet because quite honestly, I stretch for this one too.  I could aim to wake at 6:30 a.m. just to get some alone time with God before the kids wake but you know what, I'd probably hit the alarm clock with a hammer before that would actually happen.  So for me, I pray whenever I need to talk to him, but I also pray a lot in the car.  Sometimes its because I do it to avoid screaming at my kids but I definitely love that they can see me talking to God.... even at volume 10!  In fact, I heard my 2 year old talking in the car last week... "Jesus... thank you!"  Don't let your prayer life be a secret to your kids... they are sponges... let them soak up your prayer life!

9.  Book a time to serve or give with your children in tow.  I will be the first to admit that organized activities to serve when you have really small kids are few and far between.  It gets easier when they are in grade school, but don't let that stop you.  I was so convicted by my 5 year old last year, then only 4, when we passed someone on the off-ramp who was holding a sign that read, "No job, no money, please help...God Bless."  He asked me what the sign said and when I explained it to him, his response was, "Well why didn't you give him money, mom?"  Ouch.  Well, many would argue that we don't know if they are mentally stable, trying to con the system, on drugs or alcohol or too lazy to work.  I know, because I've thought it!!!!  But you know what?  It isn't our job to judge...or condemn.  It's not our job to worry about what he's going to do with the money, BUT... it is our job to help a fellow human being out!  My husband is famous for buying protein bars in the big cities he travels to for work and then giving them to the homeless as he passes in between his appointments.  One man told him, "Thank you, but I'd rather have a candy bar."  While my husband was taken aback at what could be construed as ungratefulness, he thought to himself, "If I were freezing and sitting on a filthy sidewalk, I'd want a Snickers too!"  Of course, my husband went back in to the drugstore and got him a Snickers... no questions asked. 

When we give a present to someone we love, we don't know how they'll use it...but we don't necessarily let that prevent us from giving, do we?  The same should be to those who are downtrodden, misfortuned or in desperate need of help.  I wrote an article last year that has some great ideas to begin giving, but even making sure your car is stockpiled with extra snacks, candy bars and $1 bills is a great way.  Never let an opportunity to give pass you AND YOUR CHILDREN by.  Let them be the one who gives the dollar bill to the person in need.  Trust me, my kids are experts in spending my money! Plant that seed of giving in your child's heart.  We are blessed to be a blessing!

10.  Last, but not least... go to the doctor who can heal, teach, instruct and change you.  Get your prescription filled!  I'm not talking the urgent care clinic, the PT or even your acupuncturist... although I do love and use all three!  I'm talking about setting a goal to read the bible to your children.  It is the best prescription for your heart and your mind that you can get your hands on... and you don't even need to get one from Canada online!  Get a child's version... read to them each night.  You know what.... I bet you are going to learn some things yourself!  It's one of those BOGO type of gifts... you are spending time with your children (gift #1,) you are speaking words of faith (gift #2) and you are building them spiritually (gift #4.)  If you are a multi-tasker like me...this is the hottest gift of the season!!!!  Even if you don't go to church or have a relationship with your creator... I want you to jump off a cliff with me and try reading the bible next year with your kids.  Feel free to comment on my blog if you landed at the bottom of the ravine with a back-breaking thud.  I'm betting on a soft, cushioning landing that actually bounces you back up to fly higher than the cliff you jumped from.

Happy jumping... happy flying... and Happy Holidays!