Is 2014 running you ragged already?

Every January, my calendar gets insanely clogged up.  Social dates with friends to make up for the hustle and bustle of the holidays, dentists & doctors I cancelled on in December and appointments with the gym (because every self-help article says make it an appointment…whatever.)  

In addition, I'm in the full-sprint season of launching a new church in Austin, and as some of you might know, January is the time of new routines for most every human being.  The result is that church is FULL of new people to meet, greet and connect in our church.

By February, however, most of my personal calendar is wiped clean because I realize my life is unsustainable at that pace.  The first week of February left me gasping for air and sleeping 9 hours a night…. wondering if I had taken up some primal form of hibernation or if I had just gone plum crazy thinking I could run at this pace.

But wait….January was all about new beginnings….new goals…. reaching for the stars…. now I'm so tired I can't even reach my shoelaces!

Friends, have you been there?  I'm just going to be honest here and tell you that I have…. and I was.. 

I think this post might be for both of us.

"Because NOT giving up is a conscious decision." 

(Care to tweet?)

And we can do this.

If 2014 is already consuming you, overwhelming you or letting you down, can I just encourage you to press on?  Don't be paralyzed by your discouragement, fear or insecurities.  This is not the time to second guess yourself… you haven't been in the game long enough!


This feeling reminds me of my kids basketball games.  I may have already needed to let go of a few calendar obligations, but getting my kids to their sports games remains a priority.  I can't make every game, but I sure do love to watch them play.  Here's something I've noticed about kiddos…

When the game remains close (within 2-6 points,) the kids go after each possession with vigor, determination…. a "full-court" press, if you will.  But when the gap gets bigger than 8+ points, even my oldest son, who is in 5th grade, will lose steam in his effort.  You can watch the team become erratic, panicked OR watch them deflate… slow down….. give up.

We can really become taller versions of kids sometimes, can't we?  Have you ever found yourself making erratic decisions… panicking…..lobbing a ball from half-court in a wild effort to gain ground?  Or maybe you take the other direction and slump to the bench with a towel over your head.

Friends, this is not a time to loosen your laces.  Instead…. even if you don't feel like it… it's time to suit up and get back on the court!

Why?

Because fear blocks your destiny.  Quitting before you reach that which you were going after will never get you where you wanted to be.  Besides, your coach hasn't given up on you.  He hasn't sent you to the locker room.  He's PATIENTLY, LOVINGLY waiting for you to get back on the court.

That's right.  Your being coached by the one who never gives up.  You see, Jesus has watched you every day of your life.  He is the one who planted the desires and passions in your heart.  (And you thought you were so cool you dreamed them up yourself…sorry to burst the bubble.)  

The truth is, Jesus is your biggest cheerleader because when YOU complete your dreams, it points the way for others to follow Him.  So of course he's going to give you the best game plan to get there!  Now in case you are being stubborn, I'm not just dreaming this up.. check this out:

1 Thessalonians 5:24 (NLT)

"God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful."

Philippians 1:6 (NLT)
"…God, who began a good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day Jesus Christ returns."

I'm no SAT score master, but it looks like your coach isn't giving up on you.  He will help you make it happen (through your faith) AND since Jesus hasn't returned, you still got time on the clock to finish this game!

So what's left?

A change of attitude.  A fresh declaration of your faith.  Trust.

I'm asking you to do it one more time.  And then, when you've lost perspective….do it one more time again…. and again… until your dreams and goals come to pass.  

So many of us give up when the finale is right around the corner.

You've got it in you; otherwise, God wouldn't have put it on your heart in the first place. So what do you say we run this race together… in faith…. knowing that our coach knows exactly what's on our plate… he knows our opponent and the obstacles we face…but he also sees the end…. and he says, "It's good… more than you could think or imagine!"

Friends…what about you?  Is your year a close game or do you find the point spread getting too far already?  Did this help?  Take a moment to talk back to me in cyberspace and let me know you are here!

If you like… or you think a friend would like…I'm not selfish… "share!"

In honor of Thanksgiving past: stretched out yoga pants and bad ingredients

So I have an admission to make.

I've never seen Restaurant Impossible.

Until after church on Sunday.  My Pastor at Expression Church mentioned it in one of his opening stories.  You know, the ones a Pastor uses in the beginning to get you all relaxed, engaged and in your seats… the one that you are so engrossed in and following and then wha'baam… you're sucked in to whatever he wants to say next.

He's brilliant.

Mostly because God's made our pastor brilliant and partly because I have ADHD at church and the minute you pull out an organ, some responsive ritual that I don't know (and subsequently won't pay attention because I don't want to talk at the wrong time) or something that sounds very ominous or huilt-inducing… I'm out.  Surfing my phone, doodling on the announcements… out.  I would probably post on Facebook something like #countingminutestilStarbucks

So back to Restaurant Impossible.  The basic gist of the program is that the host, Robert Irvine, helps rescue flailing restaurants by coming in and consulting… giving feedback and a plan to help the restaurant succeed.  All in the timing of one show.  (Talk about your chances of being cut on the editing room floor… I bet they have HOURS of footage that gets driven down to a precise air time.)

In most episodes, Robert asks the chef to cook up all of his favorite dishes so that he could sample them.  Needless to say, all of them were inedible by Robert's standards.  I mean… bad.

Consistently, one particular piece of advice is given to the owner of the restaurant:

"You need to use different ingredients."

Now I want to give credit where credit is due… Pastor Ryan did a great job at laying out a quick analogy for this restaurant but it got me chewing on it for awhile…

Modern culture needs different ingredients.  

Today's culture isn't going to be fixed with a fancier car, a new diet plan or a "20 days to a better marriage" conference.  And, when I mean today's culture… I'm talking about what we see when we turn on the TV… read the web or the news… watch "E!" or buy "In Style" magazine.  (I refuse to hyperlink those!)  It's what we see our neighbor wearing, doing, saying, dressing like.  Culture.  The majority.  You know, "go with the flow?"  You know….

The #Kardashians?

#MileyCyrus?

The Biebs?

#snapchat?

(Yes.  I just typed with hashtags.)  And you can "humpf" all you want about the people I mentioned up above… but the reality is we all know who those people are… which means we all know a bit about pop culture.  Which means it starts to become part of our background… normal.  Can I suggest we turn this notion of "go with the flow" on it's head?

Cuz, friends, "goin' with the flow" ain't workin!

This notion of believing in a God, or Jesus.. like it's an accessory that we can just add or take off when it works for us.. isn't working.  We need to START with Jesus and add on from there.  

Here's the amazing thing… if we start with the Big Man (that would be Jesus, stay with me!) then HE actually provides the rest of the recipe.  He provides the ingredients (including you!) He even provides the "salt" that makes everything better…. 

Crickey, you don't even need cooking skills!  (PREACH!)

So as you are wearing your stretchy yoga pants for the 4th day in a row… may I offer up a suggestion as we roll into the holiday season?  May we consider what ingredients are going into our minds… our hearts… our souls?  Especially as we jump in waist-deep to a season filled with joy and awe…but also a "culture" of materialism, hurriedness and competition.  

Take a moment or two and reflect on this new "main" ingredient for your life.

What did you come up with?

Share…. what's one "bad" ingredient you can omit in your life this month?  

Tell me… post it…share and don't forget to sign up for blog posts right into your inbox (right side your screen)…especially if you are omitting FB this next month!  

The story of M & M, according to a 4 year old

I'm not a morning person.

Period.

The funny thing is, I'm really not a late night person either.  I suppose I'm kind of a 8-5 kind of gal.  By 8 am I've had two cups of dark coffee and by about five in the afternoon, I'm ready for my hubby to come home and take the reins.

God just sees our limitations and laughs.  He probably has a 6-pack of abs from laughing at me up from Heaven...I just give him so much material... jeesh.  So in spite of my "bear of a personality" morning disposition, he blesses me with a 3rd child who is a morning person.

More like a Rooster.

The world's lightest sleeper, up one minute before any alarm and happy as a clam... ready to go.. up and adam.  He's no match for my flesh until I've had a good cup of caffeine.  And even then, I'm a slow roll.... beginning with a bear wakening from hibernation to a somewhat functioning adult.

Which means that when HE wakes up with his brothers at 6:25 a.m., we end up together from 7:10 am after the bus departs from our street all the way until 9am when his preschool starts.  Precious time... I know... I know... but lets face it moms, when you finally have a child in preschool you've already HAD PLENTY of precious moments with your child.  So, nearly 2 hours with a full-burst four year old doesn't exactly make for "time-flying-by" mornings.  Sure, we've developed routines; making banana bread, 17 games of Uno, coloring, etc.  I would be lying if I didn't tell you I wasn't fully caught up on the lives of the Little Einsteins as well.

But, I do try and make sure we begin our time together by snuggling on the couch and reading out of my son's Beginner Bible.  It's a multitude of wins for us; more couch time for me to suck down a cup of coffee, getting my mind set on the word of God (because clearly there is not much in there at 6:20 am) and to ensure my son is getting HIS mind in perspective.

(Better than a bookmark... a cup of caffeine to read the word of God)

I don't care if he's four or not... it's never too early to instill the word of God...Kingdom principles... miracles of Jesus and most importantly... I want his identity to be rooted in truth because his mama is going to mess it up... repeatedly... and I want him to know Jesus's love never fails.


My 4-year old has also been reading since he turned 3 so I use this as time for him to read to me.  I usually can't find my glasses this early in the morning either, so it all works out.  He just loves the old testament stories- don't all little boys?  Today, however, I decided to break open the new testament and it landed on Mary & Martha.  My son wanted nothing to do with a story about two girls in a kitchen but I promised him the story of Jericho if he would listen to Mary & Martha first.

Deal.

For those of you not familiar with the story, let me give you the Cliff Notes version.  I realize this dates me because they aren't even called that anymore but ROLL WITH ME PEEPS....

"There were two sisters, Mary & Martha, who were friends with Jesus.  (They also had a brother Lazarus.) Jesus announced he was coming over to visit and upon his arrival, Martha got very busy preparing for his visit and making a meal.  Even though they were friends, they knew him as the Messiah and so of course it was a big deal that he was coming over.  When Jesus arrived he sat down in the living room and began to chat with the people in the house.  Martha was in and out of the kitchen, feverishly working to cook (no microwave or Trader Joe's appetizers available) and ensure the table was set properly.  Her younger sister Mary, sat at Jesus feet and just enjoyed the conversation.  Big sister Martha just about blows a gasket in frustration and finally pipes up to Jesus, "Hey, can you tell Mary to get off her tush and help me out?  Can't you see I'm sweating it out in here by myself?"  Jesus responds, "Martha.... you don't need to stress out.  Mary is actually the one who has this figured out."

Now, if you are really into theology and biblical studies, you may want to read the actual scriptures which can be found in Luke 10:38-42 (I like the New Living Translation version linked here... it's written how we would talk today;  too many "thous" and "thy's" rev up my boredom factor.

My son and I finish the story and before I give him the satisfaction of Jericho, I ask him what he thought the story of Mary & Martha meant.  His answer nearly blew me off my cushion.

"If you are too busy you won't be able to hear what Jesus is saying."

Well, that will do it.  A 4-year old is breaking down the very message of that story in a way I have never heard it explained.  Oh sure, I have always identified with Martha:

• I'm a "doer"... and "doers" are movers and shakers.
• I'm Martha...I'm responsible, resourceful... people won't eat if I'm not in there making it (or heating it up out of the package.)
• I'm the one who gets stuff done... I can't sit down... Mary is going to be living at home forever...she has no drive or ambition.

But for my child (remember, God calls us to have "child-like faith") to simply point out that when we get too busy, we can't hear Jesus talk.  Wow.

I've really wrestled with this over the course of this week.  As many of you know, I threw my back out over a week ago (thankfully just 2 protruded/bulging discs and so I'm back to rehab today) but for the last 7 days I've been horizontal and in a bit of a pain-killer haze.  Instead of just getting silent and still... I've filled my time w/ catching up on past seasons of favorite shows, googling like crazy and of course.. a lot of sleeping.  Now I'm not chastising myself, but I'm pointing out the obvious...

Graphic by: Natalie Ryder Design

This is not my default choice.  This was not Martha's default.  Please don't misunderstand the point of my message... it's actually one that should inspire us.  If you are a Martha... ROCK your Martha... plan the best parties, post on Pinterest, create.... do... serve... move... make it happen!!!!

Just know... and take my son's advice... "We can't always hear God when we're moving and shaking." Sometimes we need to stop.  Get in the room where God is speaking and listen.  

It reminds me of my middle son who gets so frustrated when he misses a question on a test because he didn't slow down to read all the way through the problem.  When we slow down, we allow our brain to rest; it's at those times, God can speak the loudest.  How many of you get your best ideas in the shower?  Because as moms, its the ONLY TIME BESIDES PEEING THAT WE GET PEACE AND QUIET!!!

So dear Marthas..... tell me one way you can slow down to hear God's beautiful voice today?  He might want to give you the answer to prayer you've been waiting for... the perfect solution to a problem you've been wrestling with.... inspiration for your next project.... whatever it is- tell me about it here and share your thoughts with the rest of us.  I'm so thankful you will.

Preschool Pollution

You would think by now that I would have known this was coming.

After all, I have three precious boys and all three of them have completed the blessed rite of passage into childhood....

If you have heard me speak before at a conference or Mother's group, you'll remember very clearly, why I support preschool.  You see, I write a check to a wonderful organization each month so that my boys will have a loving environment for a few hours each day.  

Because mom is done.

D-O-N-E.

Done making homemade playdoh, done with Diego Memory Games, done making the stuffed animals talk over and over and over again.  I mean, I don't mind getting down on the floor, but c'mon... I've been doing this since the kiddo needed tummy time!  I've been living my life in 15 minute increments- ensuring my child was properly stimulated, kept safe, learning his ABC's and preparing for standardized testing for THREE YEARS NOW.  Give the mom a break!

I think Preschool is a way better return on investment than mommy and baby therapy sessions at the family psychatrist.  And without preschool, that's exactly where we might end up!

In fact, when we found out we would be relocating to Austin, TX this summer, my first two google searches were "Homes for Sale in Austin" and "preschools near Steiner Ranch."  No joke.

And so it goes, the first day of preschool for my last child.  I'm early.  We're ready.  I've had the day circled on the calendar.  (You might be thinking "calloused, cold mama".... but at least I'm honest.)  You same people should be relieved to know that I cried like a baby as soon as I walked into my staff meeting at Expression Church that morning.  Okay, so it only lasted 5 minutes and it wasn't "blow your nose worthy" crying but there were definitely alligator tears.  I mean... this was my last, first day of preschool!!!!

So we've been grooving at preschool for about a month now... and it's my son's favorite part of the day to greet his teacher.  Thank goodness the second favorite thing to do is run into my arms when it's over!  So far, I've consistently impressed with what preschool teachers can draw out of youngsters this age.  How they memorize new songs, learn to hold scissors without taking out an eye and get along with 12 other mini-human strangers blows my mind.  Truly, preschool teachers are a gift from God!

Well... all was going well and then it happened.

If you have had a preschooler before you know what is coming next.

My child has been polluted.

By other children.

Ugh.

You know what I'm talking about.  Preschool is just as much academic as it is learning how to navigate this big world on a social level.  And that means you are going to be exposed to different children who come from different families and just do things differently.  So our sheltered little kiddos get sent off from our small, isolated worlds of the house and wham!, they are exposed to all the cultures, values and habits of other children.  Which, can be a great thing.  But not always.

First my son came home with the "defy authority" habit.  He smacks his fist on the table and tells me that I'm "making him so mad."  If you know me at all, it made me laugh at first because it was so out of character- but it was promptly dealt with and it really only lasted 2 days.

Then we had the sudden speech issue because we wanted to be just like our friend at school.  I had to explain that God was still teaching our new friend how to say her letters but that WE were going to use our words to help her along.  (My middle son took 6 years to pronounce his "L's" correctly, which was fine and I was used to it.  But to go "backwards" and have your child come home talking like Ming-Ming on the Wonder Pets was like nails on a chalkboard!)

Yesterday's gift was my child deciding he was only going to talk like a dog... just like his other new friend at school.  I have no more words to say about this subject.

Today as I was getting some much needed, often too distracted from, quiet time (what does that even mean anymore, right?) I decided to read Ephesians in my bible.  I love the message Bible, btw... tell it how it is, Hey-Seus.  

Anyhoo... ( I can tell my blood sugar is getting low, I'm getting random.)

I came across a passage that resonated with me:

Ephesians 2:1-6

 "It wasn’t so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn’t know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It’s a wonder God didn’t lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah."

At first, it really reminded me of my son at preschool.  It's like his little body took in this polluted air of defiance, of speech difficulty, etc., and exhaled disobedience.  And c'mon, let's be real... it's not like I'm up here preaching that my son was a runner up for the Messiah and now he's walking around as the towne square bully.  No, not at all... but he fell subject to a world that isn't perfect... he took it all in... and kept some of it for himself.  He "tried on" what other kids were wearing to see how it would work for him.

But this is what really struck me.....

We do it too.  Whether we are followers of Christ or not.

We allow the world to fill up our lungs and we exhale it's impurities.  I'm not going to name what air you are breathing in... because it's different for all of us.

For me personally, I find it all too easy to take in the act of gossiping and judgement.  It goes on all around me, church attendee or not, Christian or not.  I find myself assimilating towards it; pretty soon, I've adopted it... just as easy as my son coming home and barking instead of talking!  Sometimes it's as easy as just doing whatever I "felt" like... (see passage above.)  How many times do I so easily fall into the snare of watching others lavishly shop beyond their means, talk down their husbands or watch inappropriate movies... and then think that it is okay to do that myself???

Friends, beware of the enemy who stalks around like a lion, seeking to destroy!  His best ploy is sneakiness.  You remember the tree of life, right?

He lies!

So don't think you are safe from the oxygen of the world.... of "culture."  Don't chalk it up to something like, "It's just the way it is these days" or "I want my kids (substitute yourself) to fit in."

In His love... he shows us mercy and envelops us in His embrace.  Resist air from any other Source! Drink in THAT oxygen and be refreshed today.


Hey, would love to hear from you!  Please leave a comment if that spoke to you...share with a friend or leave me a comment if YOU have one of those great preschool "pollution" experiences!

Two things bad roots and big bags taught me

Oh wait, it's just Thursday.

Come to think of it, why would I "TGIF," even if it was a Friday?

Friday isn't really too different from any other weekday.  Up at 6:21 a.m. via my iPhone alarm; bleary eyed, I head to the kitchen for shift #1:

Coffee into cup.  Add creamer.  Add more creamer.  Sip.  Peel eyes open. Check.

Quiet time w/ Jesus.  (Consists of 2nd sip of coffee and out -loud prayer. "Jesus, help me this morning.")  Check.

Wake two "would rather not be woken" children out of deep sleep.  Listen to general sounds of malaise and discontent about being woken at ungodly hour.  Check.

Greet my preschooler who has absolutely no authorization to be up so early (what human can survive the world at 4 years of age on just 9 hours of sleep?) from the stairs as he sing-songs at volume LOUD, "Good morning mom!  It's 6-3-0 on my clock!"  Check.

Cook 3 breakfasts, prepare 3 variation of lunches (because 3 the human beings I grew have absolutely no food commonalities.)  Check.

One, two, three, FOUR reminders of homework in backpacks, water bottles filled, permission slips signed, shoes located, (trust me, I have bins... you just gotta USE them.)  Check.

Kisses, prayers and send two offspring out the door.  Exhale.  Check.

It doesn't really matter if it's a Friday or not.  I'm exhausted writing out my morning routine.  Don't get me started on my Saturdays.  Three boys?  Living in the land of middle-class suburbia where playing just ONE sport makes them highly unusual already?  No, our Saturdays are the epitome of "minivan shuttle service" which also provides complimentary laundering service, complimentary beverages and snacks, not to mention psychological encouragement, coaching and every so often, first-responder or basic first-aid responsibilities.  That, is on a day we're NOT volunteering for one of the teams.  (Is it sad that my husband and I both volunteered to announce our son's recent football game just so we could get some time together?)

Now I'm really exhausted as I proofread this and realize how many "lines in the sand" I've stepped... I mean PLOWED across at 65mph in my mini-van (a line in the sand itself.)

So, even if it's not a TGIF, it's another day in the life of a stay at home mom... who's primary responsibility of running the family's home is busy, to say the least.  I didn't even drop the info bomb about our hot water tank "failing" and dumping 300 gallons of water in our attic crawl space and garage below.  Did you know that drywall dust is very, very fine and gets EVERYWHERE?????

To think my husband just got the whole garage organized... now it's all loaded in a POD parked in our driveway.  :)

Onward....

I meant for this to be short...OBVIOUSLY I have some pent up feelings today... but I"m hoping just one of you have been here before and handled it better than me?

After my hair stylist and lunch date cancelled on me within 20 minutes of each other... I was bummed out this morning.  You saw my morning... I mean, where are MY Mary Jane's?  Where's MY milk and cookies?  Oh yeah, mom's have servant hearts.  Yes... yes I do.  But it's also just fine to look forward to sitting for 2 hours and having someone touch your hair that doesn't want a snack or sex, right?  Sure I gotta pay for it... but the two hours is worth it and ON TOP OF THAT I get 7 weeks of pretending I have blonde hair.  A hair-stylist that can't reschedule for another week may as well be like someone deliberately popping your child's balloon at the midway of the state fair.

Traumatizing.

Then my lunch date cancelled.  Big bummer.  Food?  Prepared?  Without having to clean up?  Total treat!  Big people convo?  Priceless.  Now, like my balloon analogy... my own lip is quivering as I fight the pity party I can feel welling up inside of me.

Pity turns to fuming.  It's like my hairdresser and friend know each other.  Really... two dates canceling in 20 minutes?  I bet THEIR going to go and have lunch.  That is just so mean.  So rude.  So.......

Wait.  What am I going to do... I've go two choices; Tailgate at the pity party or make some lemonade?

So what do I do?

Provide the BBQ and tent, of course!  I look in the mirror... I see lots of mud-colored hair... matted flat to my head from the rush of the morning shift.  I peer in closer and see the Louis-Vitton tote-bag-sized bags that have formed under my eyes.  (Sponsored in part by a dear four year old who not only needs just 9 hours of sleep but is having massive nightmares in this phase of life.)  The pounding headache is back, reminding me that indeed, I was up every 55 minutes for most of the night and that now, with this amount of REM sleep, or lack thereof, I will need to cancel my plans to join friends at a NW Wine Social at their club.  (Another  cat's meow for any mom who lives in Lycra and tenny-runners all day AND happens to LOVE fermented grapes from the NW.)

I can almost smell the BBQ at the pity party tailgate.  I have two options.  Continue down this rabbit hole or remind myself of the truth?

Having chased the rabbit down the hole several times, I realize my crossroads look familiar and decide to take a right turn... down truth lane.

LESSON #1: (for you note-takers) We don't HAVE to live this way.

What do I mean?

I don't have to spend time wallowing in my situation.  I don't have to pity.  No.  I can rise above.  And, I'm talking about some crafted Polyanna "singing bluebird" attitude either.  You don't have to pull up your own bootstraps.  If you don't have your own bible, go search online "John 14:26."  It says that Jesus sent his "advocate" for us.... the Holy Spirit... to be our helper.  So our perspective change isn't just a matter of us pasting on a smile and saying, "Oh well, I'm dusted in a fine layer of sheet rock, sleepless and am now left w/ a wide open schedule thanks to be cancelled on... I guess I'll just learn to love my roots and eat leftover Rice A Roni for lunch."  Joy.  Joy.  Joy.  No... God knew we needed the Holy Spirit to get us out of rabbit holes...give us some perspective.  Remind us to knock it off!  


2 Timothy 1:7
New Living Translation (NLT)
7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

I don't have to live by a fallen (sinful) spirit of a 40 year old whose exhausted and emotional.  No, I have the holy spirit inside of me who reminds me of who I am.  The way I explain it to my kids is that the Holy Spirit, Jesus and God have been around a LOT longer than they have... so they have a lot more time to learn how to navigate life's up and downs... stay steady and not be tempted to chase down  every rabbit.


LESSON #2:  When in doubt, always turn right down truth lane:

Here's some truth:


Psalm 139:13-16 
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Jeremiah 29:11 

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

1 John 3:1 

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 

It really doesn't matter whether my hair style is from last Tuesday and has subsequently been put in a ponytail ever since....without shampoo or water.  It doesn't matter that the bags under my eyes are bigger than my chin.  It doesn't matter that I fed my kids cereal for the last 34 breakfasts in a row (I didn't but you get my drift.)

GOD LOVES US AS WE ARE.  

He made us.  He knows.  He KNOWS.  Whether you are frustrated with this season, feeling hidden, feeling like you could host your own pity party... he knows, he loves you and wants to offer you a hand to get back up and out of the "pity toilet bowl."  You are loved.  Wholly loved.  Just as you are.  Nothing you have done this morning, this last week, year or lifetime can separate you from God's love once you reach up your hands and ask him for a big hug.


If you are like me, you might be wondering, "So, how did it turn out?  Did you post a snide FB post about your neighbor?  Throw a rock at your stylist's salon?  Will you be on Jerry Springer?"

(Sorry, cracking myself up.)

Ahhh... no.  The reality and humbling truth is that it took about 45 minutes of me piddling my time away, feeling sorry for myself before I returned to my bible and read the verses I shared with you today.  Truthfully, 45 wasted minutes that I could have been praying for someone, cooking a meal for someone, catching up with someone... all those things we think we are "too busy" for.  (Sigh.)

Finally, I turned to the truth for a change in perspective and let the holy spirit guide my thoughts.  My neighbor and hairdresser weren't conspiring.  In fact, how many times have I needed to cancel last minute?  Duh... that will give you some compassion... turn it around and realize how often you've done the same thing.  Of course we'll reschedule- can't wait to spend time with my new friend.

I found another hairdresser... I'm now back to my pre-children color.  The bags are still there but they are marks of a caring mom who stayed up through the night to be with her child.  (And I figure I'll just go to bed when they do tonight... saves me the calories of the fermented grapes and the $35 on the sitter.)

That's why I love getting God's perspective on our situations and our emotions.  He has a 94 year perspective on my life... so I don't need to be ruled by my sleep deprived, morning perspective.  I can rest in truth and know that even if my children don't appreciate me at 6:20 a.m..... even if my hairstylist has an emergency and cancels... I am wholly loved, fearfully and wonderfully made.

And you know what?  So are you. 

Do you speed-date through life?

I don't know about you, but I love a good party.  Now, what defines a "good" party for you may be different from me... and its certainly different from the kind of party I used to go in search of when I was a reckless young adult.  (So thankful for God's forgiveness... and that those days are behind me!)  So, to define... a good party to me would have:

Amazing food. (You know, the kind that is so good you don't have to eat before you arrive?  The kind that you could never have the patience to make on your own... the kind that makes Pinterest look like a valid and achievable website.)

Amazing beverages.  Fermented or not, I'm talking about mixologist wonders of the world.

Great dress attire.  I mean, what girl doesn't love dressing up???  So far, most of my life residency has consisted of Seattle, WA, Portland OR and Austin, TX; none of these being the fashion capitals of the world.  In fact, I went to the opening night of the symphony in Portland one time and sat next to a guy in a Gap sweatshirt, Jeans and Berkenstocks.  Needless to say, I in my long dress and pearls, was not mistaken to be his date for the night.

I'm missing something.... good party requirements... hmmm.  Music...yes, good music... maybe even a bit to dance to, depending on the occasion.  Everyone needs to get their Michael Jackson on.

No children.  (Duh.)

In fact, my ideal party would look something like this....

Okay, so you get the image I am trying to paint... gorgeous atmosphere... amazing food... music... hmmm... anything else?

Oh yes, people.  

Ahhh, now THAT is a variable, isn't it?  The ideal party...would you surround it with everyone you knew.... would you make it a party where you got to meet lots of exciting people, new BFF's people that would ultimately shape your life.... or would you hodgepodge the mix?

While I personally wouldn't want to miss out on a new BFF or amazing people who would play an integral part of shaping my life, it's so much easier to hang out and talk with your friends.  Your "crew."  The ones you don't have to die a slow death of small-talk with.

You know what I mean.  We've all been there.  You are mingling at some event and you meet a new person.  This situation pretty much boils down to three outcomes:

1. You'll have a familiar face the next time you cross paths and can once again discuss the weather, local sports teams and the stuffed mushrooms being passed around.
2. Sending your date or spouse "the look" 5-7 times before they understand you desperately need to be rescued out from a conversation that makes you jealous of those who are currently undergoing  a root canal... because truth be told you'd rather be having dental work performed than continuing to converse with this person.
3. You and your new "contact" exchange information and actually do what you say and follow up with each other to set a time where you can hang out again... a new friendship is formed.

The amazing thing is that all of that happens in the course of a few minutes.  In between the music, the food (oh my goodness, the food) and the mingling, we really only have a short time to decide where our conversations are going...and how we are going to categorize the person we're talking to.

Isn't it fair to say that it doesn't really matter if we've been set up by Match.com or forced to attend a work function with our spouse... most of our introductions to people... our first "interactions" or "exchanges" with people are pretty much like speed dating.  Within about 2 minutes you know whether this person is ever going to make your radar again or not.

Scoff, stop reading and ponder for a minute or do what you need to do... but I feel like I just landed on a big one.  

Because when we get right down to it, we realize we might be passing by some God-given relationships in our life.

Now of course I can write and say, "Don't judge a book by it's cover" but we're adults and we've said it and read it so much it's lost it's flavor.  But it's true.  We speed-date people and decide... based on a couple of minutes... seconds.... LOOK-OVERS (gasp...what???) that this person is "in" or "out" in our life.  Ever thought any of these next few thoughts?

One or two looks at that gal's outfit tells me she's had a wild life and trying to find "30" again when CLEARLY I guess she's about 41... did she borrow her daughter's outfit?  Ugh, I don't need THAT kind of woman in my circle of friends.

Oh, I see that guy every week in church... and look at him holding a beer.  I bet it's his 3rd.  Hypocrite.

Wow... that was such a boring conversation with Devon's mom.  All she cares about is the safety of her children diet in the schools...she's paranoid... my kids would RUN OVER her kids... better not accept any play dates. 

Wow.

Kind of easy to do, isn't it?

We adopt a bit of a "Been there, done that" attitude towards people, don't we?

Hey, look folks, I am being REALLY VULNERABLE here.  If I were preaching, I'd ask for a few "amens" right about now so I could keep going and not pee my pants of embarrassment on stage.  Rotten thoughts... but I have sooooo gone there.

But here's the kicker... life isn't meant to be done like speed dating... life is relationships.  And relationships don't get built on cocktail-party timelines.  They get built layer by layer, each time we interact... because people are not static...they are dynamic, growing and changing. 

Last week, Pastor Ryan Malouff at Expression Church preached a message on "been there, done that."  He was trying to illustrate how many of us think we have God figured out... so we stop growing the relationship.    Or even paying attention to the relationship.  Or even paying attention to the idea itself!  We kick it into the box of "religion" and give our spouse "the look" to get outta there.

We can't speed date Jesus.  

We can't think, "Oh, there's that God thing again.  Been there.  Done that." and brush off our hands.

Jesus came so we would have a living example of what God is like.  He left but gave us the holy spirit, our resident "holy helper" to be with us always... so we could converse, spend time together in prayer and worship... attend cocktail parties to encourage those around us.  And that is just how our relationship with Jesus should be. 

I hope that today you'll not only pray for a new approach as to how you see and interact with people...that maybe you'll spend a bit more time before you let God tell you if this is a person you are supposed to have in your life, regardless of your personal opinions about that person.  But I also pray you would go and visit that table where Jesus was sitting... when you were so busy speed dating that you took one look at Him and decided that you had him all figured out and left the table.  I pray you would sit back down and begin a great new relationship with Him.

The coolest thing is that he's ALWAYS available to talk AND will love you even if your appetizers didn't turn out like the Pinterest picture.  (Just sayin')

Is there someone you can go back to and invest in?  Share your thoughts with me, leave a comment!- I'd love to hear!

Thanks for reading... be sure to "join" the site by clicking the button on the right or find me in Google circles so you don't miss a post!

Oh Yeah... forgot about that old stuff....

I've sat down to write several times today but I just can't articulate my thoughts... I keep returning to the internet to see if I can find out the latest on the Boston Marathon bombings.  Like any other human, I am addicted to a train wreck.  I don't want to be, trust me... I am reduced to tears every single time I see an image.  My core is rocked thinking about that precious 8-year old boy who just wanted to see his Daddy finish his race.  My thoughts quickly track back to when my son was eight and we made the trip to downtown Chicago to see my husband finish his race.  More tears.  I'm immobilized.  I'm grieving those people who will forever alter their plans because they are missing a limb.  Again... tears.

Yet I am moved by compassion...the hundreds of people who stayed and helped.  Color was not an issue for those hours after the bombs went off.  Neither was race, gender, economic status, age.  Quite frankly, I LOVED that the world suspended judgement against one another.  Labels vanished.  It was all for one and one for all.

I loved the comraderie that was so prevalent today as I went back to my "normal life."  Smiles were more genuine.  "Thank-you's" were a bit more heart-felt and not just obligatory manners.  And oh, the runners... the runners were out in full force today.  There was an appreciative nod to one another; we were of one accord today.  (It helped that the rains subsided enough in Seattle that the ark finally rested on high-ground.)

And that was good.

But amidst the extra effort to treat others a bit more humanely, amidst the light layer of solemness that exuded itself today, there was definitely a spirit of restlessness.... a itch I just couldn't scratch.... a question I just couldn't answer.

How did we get here?

I poised this question to my husband last night as we were about to head upstairs to bed... (c'mon, get your head out of the gutter... I've got 3 boys... bed = sleep!)

No, seriously... oh man, I've lost some of you... come back.  Okay, I asked,

"Do you think the world has gotten a lot crazier or are we just more aware of it because our faith in Jesus Christ has grown and He has opened our eyes to it?"

Mark 8:17-18     Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear?

(I am referring to our ability to see the world through the eyes of Jesus as opposed to our sinful selves.)

My husband's answer has followed me everywhere today.  This is not what I intended to write about; I intended to write about a huge breakthrough... future plans... updates on transitioning from life as I know it to life in ministry (cliffhangers, I hope...do make sure you "join" my site to receive my next few posts.)  But I think my hubs, Chris Turnley answered that question so well that I am COMPELLED to share it with as many who are willing to listen.

We, as a society, as a culture, as a nation... are here because we've lost the reverence and fear of God.
Really.  It is as simple, yet haunting, as that.

We don't fear him.  We've shaved Him down, watered Him down, contorted Him into what works best for our lives.  And quite frankly, now that He's so manageable, He is no longer a giant.  He is no longer Lord.

Hubby went further to illustrate how the nation has gone from its creation, it's Birth, conceived out of dennouncement of England... being able to be "indivisible, under God" to movements that call for the removal of the word "God" from our currency, our schools, our statues, memorials and the very pledge of Allegiance that founded this country.  (By the way, can I just draw your attention to the "Pledge of Allegiance."  Ahem.... allegiance.... synonmous with "devotion" and "loyalty.")

Okay, so here is what I am driving at.  I'm sure you have scrolled Facebook after a national tragedy and seen posts such as this:

"You ask where I am in the school shootings yet you try and remove me from schools.  You ask where I am when the town square is bombed yet you remove the plaque that says 'In God we trust.' from the very same park.  I want to be in your life but you keep kicking me out."   -God

I have to be honest with you... it ressonnates with me for a few days after a tragedy; it gets me all fired up and I'm ready to send off letters to my public school system, my representatives and anyone else who will listen.

And then life returns... schedules resume... a child gets sick.... the minivan's tire is flat... and the news coverage is no longer 24/7 about the incident... it's filed away in the "where is this world going to?" bucket.  Quickly, our life bucket (which is much larger and leaks, by the way) gets stacked on top of our deep moral compass concerns and we move on.

The truth is, guys, is that God is actually the answer.  Now, is He going to create utopia for us here on earth?  Ummm... no, that's actually what he calls Heaven...and He DOES say there will be trials until you graduate to Utopia.  Trials can be anything from a broken fingernail to the senseless death of a loved one.  BUT... friends... BUT....  as a whole, we need to remember who created the universe... who breathed us into existence... who spoke a mere four words and "poof," here we are.

I'm speaking to the 84% of us... the 84% who responded to some survey, somewhere along the line and claimed the existence of God.  Who believe that there is one true God.  Right now would be a really good time to drop your theologian hat and keep reading...  stop getting hung up on the "does he love Gays?," "Why does a church ask for money?" "Was Jesus's body really put in tomb?"  STOP!

Drop the backpack of baggage you've been slinging around that "religion was forced down my throat," or you had a "bad pastor" or "God wouldn't let bad things happen"  STOP.

I'm not going to tell you I have answers.  But I will point you to a few things that started to make so much sense:

Jeremiah 2:13

“My people have done two evil things.
    They turned away from me,
    and they dug their own water cisterns.[a]
I am the source of living water;
    those cisterns are broken and cannot hold water.

The cisterns that are broken and cannot hold water are interpreted by scholars to be His analogy for idols.  Most people think of little wooden or ceramic carvings when you hear 'idol" in a religious context.  I suppose if you are reading this late at night you might be thinking about Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell and American Idol, the TV show.  But check out Webster's Dictionary and what they had to say about the word "idol."


1.   a. An image used as an object of worship.
      b. A false god.
2. One that is adored, often blindly or excessively.
3. Something visible but without substance.

Check out number three.  As I mentioned before, we've neutered, binded, and trimmed God to a point that he's no longer welcome in our neat, tidy and "lots of gray area" little world.  He gets in the way of the choices we want to make...and feel okay about making them.  Yes... long gone are the "fire and brimstone" messages our parents grew up with (and maybe even some of us) about the fear of God and the fear of his condemnation, his damnation and our the destiny of our eternal souls.  Good grief... heavy stuff... who would want to listen to that?

But perhaps we should every now and then?  Perhaps not in a way that it is delivered, Bible thumping, some would call it... but shouldn't we... and don't we owe it to one another... to bring God out of the box and put him back in his rightful place?  At the top?  Bigger than us?

Bigger than our other idols?  As world-renown author and leader Beth Moore has put it, an idol is "any tradeoff for God."  Wow.

What I love is that God "seeks" us.  We don't "find" him.  We... at some point... turn to Him and there he is... waiting.  He was waiting the whole time.  But lets not miss the fact that we have to turn to him which means one, it's active and two... it means we turn away from other things.  We turn away from our other idols and turn instead to a mighty and powerful God, who according to the Old Testament says He is:

• El Shaddai (Lord God Almighty)
• El Elyon (The Most High God)
• Adonai (Lord, Master)
• Yahweh (Lord, Jehovah)
• Jehovah Nissi (The Lord My Banner)
• Jehovah-Raah (The Lord My Shepherd)
• Jehovah Rapha (The Lord That Heals)
• Jehovah Shammah (The Lord Is There)
• Jehovah Tsidkenu (The Lord Our Righteousness)
• Jehovah Mekoddishkem (The Lord Who Sanctifies You)
• El Olam (The Everlasting God)
• Elohim (God)
• Qanna (Jealous)
• Jehovah Jireh (The Lord Will Provide)
• Jehovah Shalom (The Lord Is Peace)

That sounds like a lot more security than any of my other idols can offer.  That sounds like a lot more happiness than my glass of wine, my workout regimen or juicy novel can offer.

And that sounds like something worth fighting for.  Worth speaking up about.  Worth writing to my school district and my government representatives about.  Worth telling my neighbor about.  Worth telling the stranger at the bus stop about.  Because let's face it... this "hush-hush" attitude about God isn't going so well.

As Craig Groeschel  mentioned in his book Weird, "The majority of people claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. And all this is normal. But normal isn’t working."

What will you do tomorrow to make God bigger in your life than he was today?

Heels on Hardwoods

Hi Y'all!
(Just practicing.)

But don't count on me getting a cowboy hat.  After all, I may be headed to Texas, but I'm moving into Austin and from what I have gathered so far is that much like Seattle, very few are actually from Austin. So, wear a 10-gallon hat if you want, but as for me and my house...

no way.

Hey.  How is everybody doing on their "new year resolutions?"  "Goals?"
Are you tracking well...seeing results?  A few slips of the program but you are back on track?

Anyone fall off completely?

Did you get back up?

If you didn't, can I just remind you that the only way you can fail is if you don't finish?  The only way you lose a game is if you don't play?

I have more... I could keep going you know..... (I play this venue alllllll daaaayyyyy)

It seems like there is a lot going on in the beginning of 2013... a lot of people really searching for a change in their lives, circumstances, values, etc.  I don't know if the elections caused people to take stock in their lives, the economy, or perhaps many people just realizing that we can't rely on people or organizations to make us happy, fulfill our needs and be our end-all source.  I know that for people who follow Jesus... he's REALLY up to a lot of stuff in people's hearts and lives.  The updates, stories, blogs, posts I have been reading in 2013 are so encouraging.... God's really got some amazing plans for so many of us... well, for ALL of us actually!!!!

Hey, okay, so I have been typing and having a FB conversation with someone at the same time.  (yep... multi-tasking means I didn't give either my full attention and actually slowed down my productivity.  I have to write that because my husband reads my posts and he's constantly encouraging me to increase my capacity by stopping my multi-tasking.)

I'm pretty convinced that God has something to say here and so I'm going to just change directions and swing for some other fences... now stop browsing FB & Twitter so you can pick up what I'm laying down....


Okay, so here is what I think God is wanting to talk about today.  Not that I called him, per-se.... but I started typing on my Iphone so fast and furious to my friend (with typos in FULL FORCE... WHO HAS THAT SMALL OF FINGERTIPS...GOOD GRIEF!) but my mind was so far ahead of my fat little fingers that I needed post the ideas here and hope they bless you this morning.  (And, because quite frankly if this was my last day on earth I'd feel much better that I obeyed what God wanted me to do.)  Like I tell my children, "we don't ask 'Why?' when I ask you to do something... we just obey... there are blessings when we obey...And when you learn to obey mom, you are learning how to obey God."  Now, you have to read that with a sing-songey voice and realize that I probably lost you right about the same time as I lost my children because my answers are too long.

Moving right along....

Did you know that amongst all of the gun controversy right now, each one of us actually already pack the most powerful weapon on earth?

Yep... no registration needed but this weapon is carried by the young and old alike, the rich, the poor, the nimble and the feeble....

It is our words.

Don't underestimate them.  God saved them for humans only.  They can build up the mightiest of nations and yet tear down the very essence of a soul.  What we speak can spur the ideas of mankind and yet wound a person so deep that they cannot go on another day.

Power.

The question for today is: "How are you using your words?"

If we take a few commonly accepted thoughts and put them together.. we see a chain reaction:


“As a man thinketh in his heart, so shall he be” 

“Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts
and actions can never produce good results … We understand this law in
the natural world, and work with it; but few understand it in the mental
and moral world—although its operation there is just as simple and undeviating—
and they, therefore, do not cooperate with it.” 

― James Allen, As a Man Thinketh

James Allen's book title was taken from the book of Proverbs in the bible (23:7) that reads "As a man thinks in his heart.. so is he."  If we continue to look at the power of our thoughts... and we know that our words are just produced from what we are thinking... then we can begin to see the absolute power in the words we speak out loud.

Now, a disclaimer here are the words that don't come from what we are thinking.  Those words, I will lump together in the bucket called "B.S."  Because if we are saying words we really don't mean... then that is just a waste of air, time and space...right?  And we all know these words... just take, for example, the words your kids must use when they are apologizing to a sibling.  It is QUITE APPARENT when they have absolutely no heart intention behind their words.  So lets just cast the "B.S." words aside and deal with the ones that are coming from our heart.

The Bible tells us this, about words:

“Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts
and actions can never produce good results … We understand this law in
the natural world, and work with it; but few understand it in the mental
and moral world—although its operation there is just as simple and undeviating—
and they, therefore, do not cooperate with it.” (Luke 6:45)

Oh wait.  Didn't we just read that?  James Allen understood it when he wrote an entire book on how the power of our thoughts and words directs our path.

After all... our words have power.  Let's just recall how the word started:

God said, "Let there be light... and there was light." (Genesis Chapter 1)

Notice how the Bible doesn't read, "God thought it would be cool if there was light so it just happened.)  No.  He had to speak it.

So what do YOU want for yourself in 2013?  What were your goals, dreams and desires?
Are you speaking those out loud?  Are you sharing those with your inner circle of friends... the ones that God put in your life to build you up, encourage you and keep you accountable?

By the way, friends, if you can't name 4 people that fit in that category, time to find some new friends!

You know, the friend I "chatted" with online via FB this morning was really hoping for an adventure for her family this year... which I assume to be some sort of location or job change.  Yet she didn't want to share it with me because she was nervous that talking about it would make it "not happen."

You know, "jinx it."

What?  WHAT?

That's not how we are to live, dear friends!  We believe in a God that BREATHED the universe into existence.  We believe in a GOD that said "light" and there was light.  We believe in a God that gave us words to use and those words, when spoken, can cause Mountains to Move!

Disbelief?

Martin Luther King: "I have a dream...."
President Lincoln: "Four score and 7 years ago..."
Susan B. Anthony: "... women, as well as men...."
Jesus: "Forgive them....."

Now hey, I am preaching to myself dear friends... you poor souls just got sucked into the ride!  Even this week, as I prepared for the pre-launch of my first published book... I keep dumbing down the end product.  "It's not really a big deal... just a little book... it's only an E-book... it's not a binded-hard-cover."

What?  WHAT?

No wait.  That book idea was given to me while I was listening to a worship song 2 years ago.  I did nothing with it until I ran into someone who started a new job and asked if I knew of any authors with original kids material.  I said I had a story if they wanted to look at it and 2 weeks later, they replied that they wanted to pay for the full production of an animated version!

Two lessons here:
1.  Speak words.  Had I kept quiet during that conversation... the book would still be on a notepad.
2.  It was God's idea he just happened to use me as the vessel... so don't shortchange God and the idea he planted in your heart.

Oh it's easy to dumb stuff down.  Be afraid to "jinx" it.  But let's call that for what it is.  FEAR.

And God did not give you a spirit of fear...  (I put it in Amplified version so you would catch this):

2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.

If nothing else, today... be painfully aware of what comes out of your mouth today.  Does is speak "life?"  Does is speak "encouragement?"  Even more pointed, ask yourself this... "Does that pay homage to Jesus or the Enemy?"  Because trust you me, the enemy wants nothing more than you to doubt your dreams and your ability to reach them.

Your dreams are God-designed... so when we speak them we are likely to follow them.  When we follow them... we are likely to reach them.  When we reach them, we are changing the world.

Hockey legend Wayne Gretsky said, "You will miss 100% of the shots you never take."

So take that shot.  Aim at the goal and then CONFESS IT WITH YOUR MOUTH.

Be blessed today.

Floating in Pea Soup

I can just hear it now:

9 year old: "Teeeee hheeeeeee heeeee"
6 year old: "Mom, you can't say that.  That is potty talk."
3 year old: "Mom, you just said Pee!" (Giggling)

No.  Not floating in pee... although I admit, I've seen plenty of pee where it wasn't supposed to be, but I'm talking about the vegetable pea for just a few minutes.

Why on earth would I blog about this?

Wind your memory back just a week or so ago when the Seattle area was snuggly wrapped up in the thickest layer of fog I can remember.  (For my loyal readers in other locales, just work with me on this.)  This was the kind of fog that wasn't all "majestic as the morning sun filtered through, illuminating the fog as if it were clouds from heaven."  No.  This was the " so thick you wondered if an asteroid hit the earth and the sun was gone forever, I-empathize-with-Triceratops-thick."  It was the "all of the light sensors are still on and the street lights couldn't tell if it was day or night" thick.

Bone chilling damp and cold.

Now, as I'm typing this, I realize that "chilling damp cold" has nothing to do with being in a hot pot of soup....but you know that saying when the fog is "as thick as pea soup?"  Okay, THAT was the connection I was going for.

After day six of solid fog, I finally decided that the fog must be the Ark of the Covenant of God... you know, in the old testament when Moses was leading his peeps through the wilderness out of Egypt... the presence of God hovered above his people to show the way... a cloud during the day and a fire by night.

(I realize so many of you are like, "No, Erin, I don't know" but isn't that GREAT that you got some bible in you today without even having to get off your chair?)

You're Welcome.

No, seriously, it hit me that the fog was such an illustration of my heart.  What do I mean by that?

Well, sometimes we have a period of our lives where things are crystal clear.  Clear as a whistle.  You get my point, right?  I mean, we know where we are at in life, where we are headed and what our target is.  We are driven, we are pushing hard, we are prioritizing, on task, and kickin' some tail.

Then there are times we feel quite the opposite... like we are in the spin cycle of life...getting tossed around and we don't know what side is up.  Man, I hate those times!

But in between the two spectrums, there is that foggy haze that we can sometimes find ourselves in.  No, it's not because we have a head cold, but it's as if we knew where we were headed, and we know where we want to end up but it's those next few steps that we can no longer see the ground.

I don't know about you, but when I have to walk in a space where I cannot see a bloody thing, I am hesitant to take steps.  (Ever had to stumble down the stairs in the pitch dark?)

It is in these times that we have a couple of choices:

1.  We can start running blindly, grasping for whatever we can hold onto...good... or bad.
2.  We can be patient and wait for the fog to lift.  Because eventually, it does.

"I am with you always, even until the end of days."  Matthew 28:20
"I will never leave you, nor forsake you."  Deuteronomy 31:8
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

You see, sometimes things aren't clear, because the road ahead of you needs to be repaired.  You can't walk there yet because God has to work some other things out...sometimes in you...sometimes in others.  And when we wait patiently for that fog to lift... the outcome is ALWAYS BETTER than when we try and force the issue.... race blindly through the fog, running into this or that.  You'll exhaust yourself and likely come out black and blue, quite frankly.

Now don't mistake what I'm laying down here... being in the fog can also be a time that God is asking us to "walk by faith."  I am certainly not encouraging you, if you find yourself in a patchy fog of life, to simply give up and go take a nap until it lifts.  No.

Instead, I'm asking you to be at peace during times of fog.  Know that your Lord will never leave you or forsake you.  Know that he's constantly working in your life.  Stay in the direction you were set to go.... and by faith.... continue your journey even though you don't know where your next step will take you.  That, my friends, is the "foggy" walk of faith.... the "being a pea" in the soup of life.

December was a very, very, very "pea soup" kind of month in my life....and the fog has lifted....and the path is clear.......


and...

You'll have to tune in tomorrow to hear what path was revealed...... but it's a BIGGIE!!!!

The litmus test every mom should use to grade herself

I don't really consider myself much of a baseball nut, to say the least (although I am reminded that is the name of a really good flavor of Ice Cream and Baskin Robbins.)

Back to baseball... I have 55 minutes before certain 65 pound and 46 pound bundles of energy come off the bus which means I will be on "red flag alert" listening to 27 stories about school (mostly recess,) feeding snacks, questioning why they didn't eat half their packed lunch and monitoring homework progress.  (What is up with parents having to correct homework these days, by the way?)  I'll need to video tape my son's recorder songs and upload to email; correct Everyday math (are you kidding me, this is NOT the way I learned math,) oversee 5 minutes of typing on MY COMPUTER which means all my USB ports will be left unplugged and all open internet windows closed, give a oral spelling test and check reading comprehension answers for correct grammar, capitalization and punctuation.  Oh, and that was one kid.  (And if feels like just yesterday I was looking soooooo forward to the start of school: "First day of school: do I laugh or cry?")

Dude... I do not have a degree for this.... I pay TAXES and a write a hefty check so my children can go to good schools... but now I'm on the hook for 45 minutes worth of homeschooling?

That actually brings me back, AGAIN, to Baseball.  You see, baseball is all about statistics.  Really.  My husband and oldest child could rattle some of the most obscure statistics about baseball players and their performance.  One of a player's stats that carries a hefty weight is their batting average.  So, if I were to write baseball for dummies, I would explain that "a batting average is calculated by dividing the number of times a player has gotten a base hit by the number of times the player has been at bat."  An average batting average is about .269 for a team collectively... a good average is above .300 and the all-time record is held by Ted Williams who batted an amazing .406 back in 1946!

(Impressive what a chick can learn thanks to the internet... I practically sound like an ESPN anchor!)
Ahhh... still giggling....

Anyhoo... think about that statistic in terms of percentages... so a pretty good player, one who is sought out... paid millions and millions of dollars to play for a team... put on merchandise for God's sake... gets on base 30% of the time.

In school, uhhhh, that's failing.  Blowing it.  Big time.  I mean, Kumon won't even take you at that point!

But as moms, we really hold ourselves to a different standard, don't we?

Back to the afternoon schedule... take a look at all that is required of a typical grade-school parent the minute she collects her children from school?  And that is just what the state requires of us... never mind we elect to add  an absorbent amount of extracurricular activities to our child's plate.  Sports, music-lessons, church education programs, scouts, etc. just add to the plate because you aren't just getting them to and fro, you're ensuring they follow up on all that is demanded from those activities on the dates you AREN'T there.

I know I've said this in almost every post, but I really do write for my own therapy.  Okay, fine... secretly (well, now it's not) I also write because I hope I strike a chord with some other mom or moms out there... dude...we're friggin nuts!!!!

Because this morning I was almost in tears.  I dropped my 3 year old off at pre-school and was flying back out to the car to head to a PRECIOUS allocation of time to get my hair cut and well... um... enhanced in the umm... tone area.... um yes...I mean...color... well fine...

I GET IT HIGHLIGHTED.... SO THERE!

The preschool teacher asked if I was staying.  ("Why would I do that?" was my first thought.... ) but I asked if she needed help.  No, she replied...but it was "stay and visit" day so you could make a craft with your children!!!!!!  Oh joy.  No, I didn't know that.  No, I didn't get that email or read though every stinking bit of news for my 3 year old's newsletter this month.  OMG, this is why I write a check people... it is my BREAK!!!!

Loser mom... I thought... one more thing I didn't plan for... didn't remember...and I could just envision my child during circle time, sitting on the teacher's lap because my son "had no mama."

Tears were welling up.... and I am NOT a public crier!

You see... this just went on the top of the "already loser mom" feelings....

I nearly forgot it was picture day this morning and my husband had to rescue me (Thank you Jesus for getting him back from Houston a day early) by doing the boys hair while I scrambled to fill out the forms 5 minutes before the bus came.

The day before I listened to my son tell me how he's missing all the contests because WE don't know where his Orthodontist's debit card is and by not bringing it to his emergency appointment to replace HIS BROKEN WIRE... he was losing out on earning points.

Let's see... I could go on for days people.  School library books not in the backpack on the right days, bus passes left by the printer on the day my child is supposed to ride home with another kid.  Lunches packed in the wrong lunchbox (leaving each of my children to open up their lunches and find all of the "wrong" things... a perfect example as to how different they are!)  Yeah, that one was fun because they just didn't eat their lunches... nothing like a starving, low-blood sugar crank at the end of a school day!

We've missed team snack...forgotten water bottles on hot days, bibles to church-camp and have DEFINITELY failed to remember that it is someone's turn to pick out the ice cream flavor at the supermarket.   Allowance was paid late, a jersey wasn't washed in time for the game and I seem to be the only mom who won't plunge $60+ on a Halloween costume.

It's a wonder my children haven't filed for emancipation by now.

But you know what... I'm still batting about .900+ according to my reflection... I mean... lets consider all that I DO get right.  They are wearing underwear, they've showered, they are fed, they are loved.  Hey... that's an A- right there...take THAT, Everyday Math!

 My kids will not give you that same statistic of course...but that is just a short-term recollection of my performance.  In five years, they will forget about the missed bus pass or the time I served them homemade pizza with dough that had CLEARLY gone past its date (whoops) but I gotta stop listening to them... or myself for that matter.  Jesus is the one collecting data for the stats.

And he says I'm batting 100%.  He knows I am doing my best.  He also knows that our Heavenly Father purposed and crafted us specifically for our children.

Hebrews 13:21 (New Living Translation)


May he equip you with all you need for doing his will.
May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ,
every good thing that is pleasing to him.
    All glory to him forever and ever! Amen.

Allright...so this is good stuff... He never asks us to be perfect and yet he tells us from the beginning that he's equipped us with all that we need to do....and its pleasing to Him.

How freeing... how liberating.... somewhere there's a woman shouting
"Can...I...get...an...A-MEN...up....in....here?"

Don't get your stats from your children...they are ruthless little suckers! Don't judge yourself because chances are... Satan's going to show up for that trial and stick you in the chair of the condemned or let you party over in the "guilt" chambers.  Nah... turn your eyes instead to the one who MADE you...he's known you the longest... and he thinks you are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made.

Okay...okay...okay... I'm sure there is some permission slip you still need to fill out before tomorrow so I'll sign out for now...but celebrate in your incredible MBA... Mom's Batting Average and then brainstorm what you want your bobble head to look like.

Anyone else feelin' me on this one?  Let me know!