5 Controversial New Year Resolutions for parents

(Writer's update… this article had every intention of being finished and published by January 5th.  Well, there went that date… in a blur….  
But I believe so passionately about this topic I wanted to share it with you, regardless of when it made it  onto your screen because I think it has power to change our perspective… and a future generation.  I hope you enjoy…..)

A lot of people love New Year resolutions.  They get all fired up… make a list… write it on their mirror to remind themselves… post it on Facebook and every other media outlet and then bust into the gym (usually this is the first resolution) with brand new workout gear on only to injure a body part and call it a day.

(Image courtesy of Bodybuilding.com)

You could really substitute the gym for dieting, saving money, being nicer, etc.  Some people say they don't make resolutions because they set goals.  Same thing… now we are just arguing semantics.

But this year something really stirred in me over the holidays and I must confess that I was moved by either righteous anger, righteous disgust or righteous anxiety; none of which are states of mind I want to be in.  So, without further ado, I crossed a line in the sand (yet again) and resolved to make a list of changes I was going to implement in 2014.  (You see how I avoided the words "resolution" or "goal?" What can I say, I'm one stubborn woman.)

I feel a disclaimer is needed for the remainder of my words.  If you continue reading this, please know you may find yourself offended, rolling your eyes or even indignant.  Sorry… I suppose you can conclude that I'm either not writing to you, I'm totally foolish OR I've hit a nerve and you aren't quite ready to deal with it.  The truth is that I'm writing this to the people I hope will feel utterly liberated to join me on this quest… casting aside some of the absurdities that we've taken on in this fast-paced culture…throwing them into the landfill of unhealthy patterns and freeing ourselves up to do what is truly important.

Ready?  

1. I will limit my child's screen time.  I will be the first to take away a device as a tool for "consequences" (aka: punishment, restriction, correction)  I will request that all media devices never leave my living room, are never viewed in private or are taken to sleepovers.   I will disable  internet… Google works just fine on our home computer in our kitchen.  I will not allow applications on my child's phone just because everyone else has them.  I will audit my child's phone at any given time.  Just as pro athletes are drug tested at random, so shall my child's device.  I WILL NOT PLAY SECOND FIDDLE TO A DEVICE THAT MUST BE TURNED ON.
2. I will stop paying my babysitters an exorbitant hourly rate to take care of my children.  Thank you, Jan Francisco for your thoughtful article about how high rates for work provided by youth is deterring our next generation from transitioning into the real world.  Even if it means I will have to hunt and peck for a sitter, paying $16 an hour to watch a movie and feed pizza to my boys does prepare or encourage them to seek "first jobs" that pay minimum wage, less taxes.  It's no wonder that the U.S. Government wants the "adult" limit pushed back to 25. Who wants to grow up when I can earn $35 bucks watching Despicable Me and eating pizza?  (Yes, it's a matter of my child's welfare and cleaning frozen yogurt machines is not; but I beg of you to find some gray in my argument.)

   

   (Image courtesy of Gulpfish.com)

3. I will stop living vicariously through my children.  One day, very soon, they will leave for school (I'm rounding out my last year of having a Pre-K in the house) and before I know it, all 3 will have left for college and find their way outside of the home.  I will be alone.  So I will live my life, and help them find their own.  Should they win a pageant…they are the one wearing the crown… not me.  If I have a star baseball player, it will be their photograph in the paper, not mine.  Their achievements are not my achievements and irregardless of MY desires to be a star "WHATEVER," I will not push them onto my kid.

   

   (Image courtesy of TheStudio74)
4. I will parent from a position of knowing my time with them is limited.  I know this because on their 18th birthday, we will purchase a luggage set for each one of them as
   they head out for some form of post-secondary education.  By that point in time, they should be independent, skilled and confident enough to head into the world on their own.  I will parent with love, structure and accountability.  I will encourage them to go for their dreams, work hard and play hard.  I will be their advocate and biggest fan.  But I will not give them their every desire or do everything for them.  I will model and teach responsibility and life skills so that I do not release an entitled young adult into the world who falters and flounders the first time someone tells them "no."
   
   
5. I will fail at keeping these resolutions/goals/mindsets.  But I will be quick to admit when I have failed or when I am wrong.  I will be quick to ask for forgiveness.  I will pray for God to remind me that he is ultimately in charge of raising my babes.  But I will get up, try again, and model perseverance to my children.

If you are still with me, God bless you for it!  Moms… I want to see a generation rise up and take this world by storm and I hope you'll join me.  I'd be so encouraged if this spoke to you, please share it by re-posting to FB or Tumblr, Twitter, etc.  

Now what about you?  What bold ideas do you have for re-shaping the next generation?  Post here and encourage others!