Do you speed-date through life?

I don't know about you, but I love a good party.  Now, what defines a "good" party for you may be different from me... and its certainly different from the kind of party I used to go in search of when I was a reckless young adult.  (So thankful for God's forgiveness... and that those days are behind me!)  So, to define... a good party to me would have:

Amazing food. (You know, the kind that is so good you don't have to eat before you arrive?  The kind that you could never have the patience to make on your own... the kind that makes Pinterest look like a valid and achievable website.)

Amazing beverages.  Fermented or not, I'm talking about mixologist wonders of the world.

Great dress attire.  I mean, what girl doesn't love dressing up???  So far, most of my life residency has consisted of Seattle, WA, Portland OR and Austin, TX; none of these being the fashion capitals of the world.  In fact, I went to the opening night of the symphony in Portland one time and sat next to a guy in a Gap sweatshirt, Jeans and Berkenstocks.  Needless to say, I in my long dress and pearls, was not mistaken to be his date for the night.

I'm missing something.... good party requirements... hmmm.  Music...yes, good music... maybe even a bit to dance to, depending on the occasion.  Everyone needs to get their Michael Jackson on.

No children.  (Duh.)

In fact, my ideal party would look something like this....

Okay, so you get the image I am trying to paint... gorgeous atmosphere... amazing food... music... hmmm... anything else?

Oh yes, people.  

Ahhh, now THAT is a variable, isn't it?  The ideal party...would you surround it with everyone you knew.... would you make it a party where you got to meet lots of exciting people, new BFF's people that would ultimately shape your life.... or would you hodgepodge the mix?

While I personally wouldn't want to miss out on a new BFF or amazing people who would play an integral part of shaping my life, it's so much easier to hang out and talk with your friends.  Your "crew."  The ones you don't have to die a slow death of small-talk with.

You know what I mean.  We've all been there.  You are mingling at some event and you meet a new person.  This situation pretty much boils down to three outcomes:

1. You'll have a familiar face the next time you cross paths and can once again discuss the weather, local sports teams and the stuffed mushrooms being passed around.
2. Sending your date or spouse "the look" 5-7 times before they understand you desperately need to be rescued out from a conversation that makes you jealous of those who are currently undergoing  a root canal... because truth be told you'd rather be having dental work performed than continuing to converse with this person.
3. You and your new "contact" exchange information and actually do what you say and follow up with each other to set a time where you can hang out again... a new friendship is formed.

The amazing thing is that all of that happens in the course of a few minutes.  In between the music, the food (oh my goodness, the food) and the mingling, we really only have a short time to decide where our conversations are going...and how we are going to categorize the person we're talking to.

Isn't it fair to say that it doesn't really matter if we've been set up by Match.com or forced to attend a work function with our spouse... most of our introductions to people... our first "interactions" or "exchanges" with people are pretty much like speed dating.  Within about 2 minutes you know whether this person is ever going to make your radar again or not.

Scoff, stop reading and ponder for a minute or do what you need to do... but I feel like I just landed on a big one.  

Because when we get right down to it, we realize we might be passing by some God-given relationships in our life.

Now of course I can write and say, "Don't judge a book by it's cover" but we're adults and we've said it and read it so much it's lost it's flavor.  But it's true.  We speed-date people and decide... based on a couple of minutes... seconds.... LOOK-OVERS (gasp...what???) that this person is "in" or "out" in our life.  Ever thought any of these next few thoughts?

One or two looks at that gal's outfit tells me she's had a wild life and trying to find "30" again when CLEARLY I guess she's about 41... did she borrow her daughter's outfit?  Ugh, I don't need THAT kind of woman in my circle of friends.

Oh, I see that guy every week in church... and look at him holding a beer.  I bet it's his 3rd.  Hypocrite.

Wow... that was such a boring conversation with Devon's mom.  All she cares about is the safety of her children diet in the schools...she's paranoid... my kids would RUN OVER her kids... better not accept any play dates. 

Wow.

Kind of easy to do, isn't it?

We adopt a bit of a "Been there, done that" attitude towards people, don't we?

Hey, look folks, I am being REALLY VULNERABLE here.  If I were preaching, I'd ask for a few "amens" right about now so I could keep going and not pee my pants of embarrassment on stage.  Rotten thoughts... but I have sooooo gone there.

But here's the kicker... life isn't meant to be done like speed dating... life is relationships.  And relationships don't get built on cocktail-party timelines.  They get built layer by layer, each time we interact... because people are not static...they are dynamic, growing and changing. 

Last week, Pastor Ryan Malouff at Expression Church preached a message on "been there, done that."  He was trying to illustrate how many of us think we have God figured out... so we stop growing the relationship.    Or even paying attention to the relationship.  Or even paying attention to the idea itself!  We kick it into the box of "religion" and give our spouse "the look" to get outta there.

We can't speed date Jesus.  

We can't think, "Oh, there's that God thing again.  Been there.  Done that." and brush off our hands.

Jesus came so we would have a living example of what God is like.  He left but gave us the holy spirit, our resident "holy helper" to be with us always... so we could converse, spend time together in prayer and worship... attend cocktail parties to encourage those around us.  And that is just how our relationship with Jesus should be. 

I hope that today you'll not only pray for a new approach as to how you see and interact with people...that maybe you'll spend a bit more time before you let God tell you if this is a person you are supposed to have in your life, regardless of your personal opinions about that person.  But I also pray you would go and visit that table where Jesus was sitting... when you were so busy speed dating that you took one look at Him and decided that you had him all figured out and left the table.  I pray you would sit back down and begin a great new relationship with Him.

The coolest thing is that he's ALWAYS available to talk AND will love you even if your appetizers didn't turn out like the Pinterest picture.  (Just sayin')

Is there someone you can go back to and invest in?  Share your thoughts with me, leave a comment!- I'd love to hear!

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