Is 2014 running you ragged already?

Every January, my calendar gets insanely clogged up.  Social dates with friends to make up for the hustle and bustle of the holidays, dentists & doctors I cancelled on in December and appointments with the gym (because every self-help article says make it an appointment…whatever.)  

In addition, I'm in the full-sprint season of launching a new church in Austin, and as some of you might know, January is the time of new routines for most every human being.  The result is that church is FULL of new people to meet, greet and connect in our church.

By February, however, most of my personal calendar is wiped clean because I realize my life is unsustainable at that pace.  The first week of February left me gasping for air and sleeping 9 hours a night…. wondering if I had taken up some primal form of hibernation or if I had just gone plum crazy thinking I could run at this pace.

But wait….January was all about new beginnings….new goals…. reaching for the stars…. now I'm so tired I can't even reach my shoelaces!

Friends, have you been there?  I'm just going to be honest here and tell you that I have…. and I was.. 

I think this post might be for both of us.

"Because NOT giving up is a conscious decision." 

(Care to tweet?)

And we can do this.

If 2014 is already consuming you, overwhelming you or letting you down, can I just encourage you to press on?  Don't be paralyzed by your discouragement, fear or insecurities.  This is not the time to second guess yourself… you haven't been in the game long enough!


This feeling reminds me of my kids basketball games.  I may have already needed to let go of a few calendar obligations, but getting my kids to their sports games remains a priority.  I can't make every game, but I sure do love to watch them play.  Here's something I've noticed about kiddos…

When the game remains close (within 2-6 points,) the kids go after each possession with vigor, determination…. a "full-court" press, if you will.  But when the gap gets bigger than 8+ points, even my oldest son, who is in 5th grade, will lose steam in his effort.  You can watch the team become erratic, panicked OR watch them deflate… slow down….. give up.

We can really become taller versions of kids sometimes, can't we?  Have you ever found yourself making erratic decisions… panicking…..lobbing a ball from half-court in a wild effort to gain ground?  Or maybe you take the other direction and slump to the bench with a towel over your head.

Friends, this is not a time to loosen your laces.  Instead…. even if you don't feel like it… it's time to suit up and get back on the court!

Why?

Because fear blocks your destiny.  Quitting before you reach that which you were going after will never get you where you wanted to be.  Besides, your coach hasn't given up on you.  He hasn't sent you to the locker room.  He's PATIENTLY, LOVINGLY waiting for you to get back on the court.

That's right.  Your being coached by the one who never gives up.  You see, Jesus has watched you every day of your life.  He is the one who planted the desires and passions in your heart.  (And you thought you were so cool you dreamed them up yourself…sorry to burst the bubble.)  

The truth is, Jesus is your biggest cheerleader because when YOU complete your dreams, it points the way for others to follow Him.  So of course he's going to give you the best game plan to get there!  Now in case you are being stubborn, I'm not just dreaming this up.. check this out:

1 Thessalonians 5:24 (NLT)

"God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful."

Philippians 1:6 (NLT)
"…God, who began a good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day Jesus Christ returns."

I'm no SAT score master, but it looks like your coach isn't giving up on you.  He will help you make it happen (through your faith) AND since Jesus hasn't returned, you still got time on the clock to finish this game!

So what's left?

A change of attitude.  A fresh declaration of your faith.  Trust.

I'm asking you to do it one more time.  And then, when you've lost perspective….do it one more time again…. and again… until your dreams and goals come to pass.  

So many of us give up when the finale is right around the corner.

You've got it in you; otherwise, God wouldn't have put it on your heart in the first place. So what do you say we run this race together… in faith…. knowing that our coach knows exactly what's on our plate… he knows our opponent and the obstacles we face…but he also sees the end…. and he says, "It's good… more than you could think or imagine!"

Friends…what about you?  Is your year a close game or do you find the point spread getting too far already?  Did this help?  Take a moment to talk back to me in cyberspace and let me know you are here!

If you like… or you think a friend would like…I'm not selfish… "share!"

Views from the burbs: 5 Controversial New Year Resolutions for parents

Views from the burbs: 5 Controversial New Year Resolutions for parents: (Writer's update… this article had every intention of being finished and published by January 5th.  Well, there went that date… in a blu...

5 Controversial New Year Resolutions for parents

(Writer's update… this article had every intention of being finished and published by January 5th.  Well, there went that date… in a blur….  
But I believe so passionately about this topic I wanted to share it with you, regardless of when it made it  onto your screen because I think it has power to change our perspective… and a future generation.  I hope you enjoy…..)

A lot of people love New Year resolutions.  They get all fired up… make a list… write it on their mirror to remind themselves… post it on Facebook and every other media outlet and then bust into the gym (usually this is the first resolution) with brand new workout gear on only to injure a body part and call it a day.

(Image courtesy of Bodybuilding.com)

You could really substitute the gym for dieting, saving money, being nicer, etc.  Some people say they don't make resolutions because they set goals.  Same thing… now we are just arguing semantics.

But this year something really stirred in me over the holidays and I must confess that I was moved by either righteous anger, righteous disgust or righteous anxiety; none of which are states of mind I want to be in.  So, without further ado, I crossed a line in the sand (yet again) and resolved to make a list of changes I was going to implement in 2014.  (You see how I avoided the words "resolution" or "goal?" What can I say, I'm one stubborn woman.)

I feel a disclaimer is needed for the remainder of my words.  If you continue reading this, please know you may find yourself offended, rolling your eyes or even indignant.  Sorry… I suppose you can conclude that I'm either not writing to you, I'm totally foolish OR I've hit a nerve and you aren't quite ready to deal with it.  The truth is that I'm writing this to the people I hope will feel utterly liberated to join me on this quest… casting aside some of the absurdities that we've taken on in this fast-paced culture…throwing them into the landfill of unhealthy patterns and freeing ourselves up to do what is truly important.

Ready?  

1. I will limit my child's screen time.  I will be the first to take away a device as a tool for "consequences" (aka: punishment, restriction, correction)  I will request that all media devices never leave my living room, are never viewed in private or are taken to sleepovers.   I will disable  internet… Google works just fine on our home computer in our kitchen.  I will not allow applications on my child's phone just because everyone else has them.  I will audit my child's phone at any given time.  Just as pro athletes are drug tested at random, so shall my child's device.  I WILL NOT PLAY SECOND FIDDLE TO A DEVICE THAT MUST BE TURNED ON.

Is "#socialmedia" #ruining #your #Holiday #season?

Sleigh bells ring….are you listening?

In the Lane… snow is glistening….

(Unless you live in Austin, Texas like myself where it's 74 today.)

(photo credit Guy Wulf)

Back to the song….

A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight….

Happy?  HAPPY?

I'll have time to be happy after the shopping list is done, Christmas cards are out, school parties are wrapped up, bus driver gift purchased, pine needles from dried-out Christmas tree are vacuumed (again!) holiday baking complete, church craft supplies bought, and biggest-light-display-ever is in place outside in my front yard.

And…

I've successfully recorded it all on my Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat page.
(Don't forget to tweet it out…)

I mean… c'mon!  You gotta show the world how "organized" you are.  How "busy" you are.  How "involved" you are.  How "Merry" you are.

Don't misunderstand my heart… there is joy…it's just a little suppressed and choked off right now….

Do you know that I was so tired on Saturday morning that I actually took the wild advice out of some "beauty secret" column?  I probably read it during my Birthday pedicure appointment; no joke, I put hemorrhoid cream under my eyes to reduce the bags that had formed from a week of staying up way too late to finish way too many things!

(For the record… it works!)

But that's not the point, people!  The point is… we've become so fixated on all of the extras in the holiday season… and having to broadcast it out to the world…. and watch everyone else's holiday session unfold via photos scrolling down our screen…that we don't even notice if there is snow glistening down a lane.  We're too exhausted to see the "beautiful sight" and "be happy tonight."

I'm not writing today to suggest a "Mary spirit" in a Martha season.  (For those that have NO idea what I'm talking about a great passage in the Bible about 2 sisters…one's a worker and one appears to be slacking off while her sister is prepping food in the kitchen.  You can read about it here… great story to pop over to for context.)  I'll wait…..

Okay, good, we are all on the same page.  Okay, so I'm not pointing fingers at the Martha.  Fellow fan-club President of Martha…right here… I empathize with all of us who are losing hair every December. I mean, you could choose to not send out Christmas cards, do any holiday baking, stiff your nieces and nephews and skip the shopping.

Yeah, right!!!  Okay, so not very realistic… and that's why I'm not asking you to just sit at Jesus's feet for the next 8 days.

BUT…..

This time of year gets noisy.  Media is noisy.  It can be bombarding.

We see around 247 images a day.  NOT including Social Media.

And since I know you are reading this via social media of some-sort… let me land the plane and make this short…..

We'll never see if the lane is glistening… or see the beautiful sights of the season if we've got our nose buried in our phone looking at what OTHER people are doing during the holiday season.  The season is a fixed time… it only lasts a short while… it's (despite what culture has turned it into) Jesus's birthday… the Savior… the King… came to earth as a child to save us and restore us to God!!!!

Rejoice… dear friends… rejoice!!

Don't "like" what your friends are doing… get together with them!
Stop scrolling… and start enjoying.
Don't compare; share…. yourself… with others… not as a "selfie" but share your time, your resources with those in need…with those you love….

Go walk in a winter wonderland…. get quiet… keep your phone in the car…. and just soak it in.  God created a beautiful world…with beautiful people…. and a beautiful Son…. for us.

I challenge you to do something "off the grid" this week… tell me… post…what will it be?  (Ironic to post it…yes… but hopefully you'll inspire other readers to do the same!)

In honor of Thanksgiving past: stretched out yoga pants and bad ingredients

So I have an admission to make.

I've never seen Restaurant Impossible.

Until after church on Sunday.  My Pastor at Expression Church mentioned it in one of his opening stories.  You know, the ones a Pastor uses in the beginning to get you all relaxed, engaged and in your seats… the one that you are so engrossed in and following and then wha'baam… you're sucked in to whatever he wants to say next.

He's brilliant.

Mostly because God's made our pastor brilliant and partly because I have ADHD at church and the minute you pull out an organ, some responsive ritual that I don't know (and subsequently won't pay attention because I don't want to talk at the wrong time) or something that sounds very ominous or huilt-inducing… I'm out.  Surfing my phone, doodling on the announcements… out.  I would probably post on Facebook something like #countingminutestilStarbucks

So back to Restaurant Impossible.  The basic gist of the program is that the host, Robert Irvine, helps rescue flailing restaurants by coming in and consulting… giving feedback and a plan to help the restaurant succeed.  All in the timing of one show.  (Talk about your chances of being cut on the editing room floor… I bet they have HOURS of footage that gets driven down to a precise air time.)

In most episodes, Robert asks the chef to cook up all of his favorite dishes so that he could sample them.  Needless to say, all of them were inedible by Robert's standards.  I mean… bad.

Consistently, one particular piece of advice is given to the owner of the restaurant:

"You need to use different ingredients."

Now I want to give credit where credit is due… Pastor Ryan did a great job at laying out a quick analogy for this restaurant but it got me chewing on it for awhile…

Modern culture needs different ingredients.  

Today's culture isn't going to be fixed with a fancier car, a new diet plan or a "20 days to a better marriage" conference.  And, when I mean today's culture… I'm talking about what we see when we turn on the TV… read the web or the news… watch "E!" or buy "In Style" magazine.  (I refuse to hyperlink those!)  It's what we see our neighbor wearing, doing, saying, dressing like.  Culture.  The majority.  You know, "go with the flow?"  You know….

The #Kardashians?

#MileyCyrus?

The Biebs?

#snapchat?

(Yes.  I just typed with hashtags.)  And you can "humpf" all you want about the people I mentioned up above… but the reality is we all know who those people are… which means we all know a bit about pop culture.  Which means it starts to become part of our background… normal.  Can I suggest we turn this notion of "go with the flow" on it's head?

Cuz, friends, "goin' with the flow" ain't workin!

This notion of believing in a God, or Jesus.. like it's an accessory that we can just add or take off when it works for us.. isn't working.  We need to START with Jesus and add on from there.  

Here's the amazing thing… if we start with the Big Man (that would be Jesus, stay with me!) then HE actually provides the rest of the recipe.  He provides the ingredients (including you!) He even provides the "salt" that makes everything better…. 

Crickey, you don't even need cooking skills!  (PREACH!)

So as you are wearing your stretchy yoga pants for the 4th day in a row… may I offer up a suggestion as we roll into the holiday season?  May we consider what ingredients are going into our minds… our hearts… our souls?  Especially as we jump in waist-deep to a season filled with joy and awe…but also a "culture" of materialism, hurriedness and competition.  

Take a moment or two and reflect on this new "main" ingredient for your life.

What did you come up with?

Share…. what's one "bad" ingredient you can omit in your life this month?  

Tell me… post it…share and don't forget to sign up for blog posts right into your inbox (right side your screen)…especially if you are omitting FB this next month!  

Give. No GIMME!

How do we create givers?  It starts with us.

Man I hate that answer.  More work for me as a mom.  I’m thinking, “Haven’t I already given you LIFE?  Fed you?  Bathed you? (well, most the time.)  Taught you how to tie a shoe, even if it meant we missed the bus...for two weeks in a row?” 

So when I hear that there is one more thing for me to focus on, I sigh.  We all know there is no amount of talking a child into giving.  Threatening?  Perhaps.  A 5-minute diatribe on starving children in Africa?  Usually unsuccessful.  

We have to model giving.  And there is no better opportunity to model giving than to our children; we give knowing they cannot repay us.  (Except the one son that will let me move in with him when I am senile and wrinkled...but other than that, you get my heart on this, right?)  We will give 127 times to our children before they give back.  If you don’t have a child, think of a cat.  If you own a cat, you spend all this time feeding it, grooming it, picking up it’s poop out of a box filled with smelly pebbles and what do you get in return?  Some leg rubs when he/she feels like interacting with you and receiving more of your love.  That’s the best example I can give you when we’re talking about the giving ratio of a child.  (If I were talking about love I would give you a dog... if you know me, I own NEITHER... I have children to pet and eventually I don’t have to pick up their poop.)

Giving isn’t always about dollar bills and shiny bows.  Sure, we live in a culture that bombards us with materialism which is somehow morphed into the premise of giving.  How many of us have given your child the VERY thing they begged for, or hoped for… only to seen it tossed aside and forgotten about just 3 days later?  Trust me, this family has a long way to go when it comes to giving.  Read my post about last year's "ungiving" tree to get an idea of what we're dealing with at my house!

The point is, that giving of any resource is the key.  Your love.  Your time. Your energy.  Your wisdom.  Your advice.  It’s the purity of your thought behind the giving that is instilled in your child’s heart forever. 

We don’t give with the end in mind; we give out of love.  I don’t run into a lot of women who introduce their children and then tell me, “Yeah, I had them so they could take care of cleaning the kitchen.”  I am just NOW entering a season where my 10-year-old provides exceptional labor assistance... I have just NOW passed the torch on lugging in the empty garbage cans, emptying the bathroom trash and sorting laundry.  (If you aren’t there ladies... just wait... it’s coming.  And if you have a girl... I’m sure it will come earlier.)  

We give with pure intentions; to demonstrate and model the art of giving.  

Because God gives to us.  Daily.  

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”  -John 3:16

What resource do you love to give the most?  What is the hardest thing to give?  Why do you think the latter is hard for you?

The story of M & M, according to a 4 year old

I'm not a morning person.

Period.

The funny thing is, I'm really not a late night person either.  I suppose I'm kind of a 8-5 kind of gal.  By 8 am I've had two cups of dark coffee and by about five in the afternoon, I'm ready for my hubby to come home and take the reins.

God just sees our limitations and laughs.  He probably has a 6-pack of abs from laughing at me up from Heaven...I just give him so much material... jeesh.  So in spite of my "bear of a personality" morning disposition, he blesses me with a 3rd child who is a morning person.

More like a Rooster.

The world's lightest sleeper, up one minute before any alarm and happy as a clam... ready to go.. up and adam.  He's no match for my flesh until I've had a good cup of caffeine.  And even then, I'm a slow roll.... beginning with a bear wakening from hibernation to a somewhat functioning adult.

Which means that when HE wakes up with his brothers at 6:25 a.m., we end up together from 7:10 am after the bus departs from our street all the way until 9am when his preschool starts.  Precious time... I know... I know... but lets face it moms, when you finally have a child in preschool you've already HAD PLENTY of precious moments with your child.  So, nearly 2 hours with a full-burst four year old doesn't exactly make for "time-flying-by" mornings.  Sure, we've developed routines; making banana bread, 17 games of Uno, coloring, etc.  I would be lying if I didn't tell you I wasn't fully caught up on the lives of the Little Einsteins as well.

But, I do try and make sure we begin our time together by snuggling on the couch and reading out of my son's Beginner Bible.  It's a multitude of wins for us; more couch time for me to suck down a cup of coffee, getting my mind set on the word of God (because clearly there is not much in there at 6:20 am) and to ensure my son is getting HIS mind in perspective.

(Better than a bookmark... a cup of caffeine to read the word of God)

I don't care if he's four or not... it's never too early to instill the word of God...Kingdom principles... miracles of Jesus and most importantly... I want his identity to be rooted in truth because his mama is going to mess it up... repeatedly... and I want him to know Jesus's love never fails.


My 4-year old has also been reading since he turned 3 so I use this as time for him to read to me.  I usually can't find my glasses this early in the morning either, so it all works out.  He just loves the old testament stories- don't all little boys?  Today, however, I decided to break open the new testament and it landed on Mary & Martha.  My son wanted nothing to do with a story about two girls in a kitchen but I promised him the story of Jericho if he would listen to Mary & Martha first.

Deal.

For those of you not familiar with the story, let me give you the Cliff Notes version.  I realize this dates me because they aren't even called that anymore but ROLL WITH ME PEEPS....

"There were two sisters, Mary & Martha, who were friends with Jesus.  (They also had a brother Lazarus.) Jesus announced he was coming over to visit and upon his arrival, Martha got very busy preparing for his visit and making a meal.  Even though they were friends, they knew him as the Messiah and so of course it was a big deal that he was coming over.  When Jesus arrived he sat down in the living room and began to chat with the people in the house.  Martha was in and out of the kitchen, feverishly working to cook (no microwave or Trader Joe's appetizers available) and ensure the table was set properly.  Her younger sister Mary, sat at Jesus feet and just enjoyed the conversation.  Big sister Martha just about blows a gasket in frustration and finally pipes up to Jesus, "Hey, can you tell Mary to get off her tush and help me out?  Can't you see I'm sweating it out in here by myself?"  Jesus responds, "Martha.... you don't need to stress out.  Mary is actually the one who has this figured out."

Now, if you are really into theology and biblical studies, you may want to read the actual scriptures which can be found in Luke 10:38-42 (I like the New Living Translation version linked here... it's written how we would talk today;  too many "thous" and "thy's" rev up my boredom factor.

My son and I finish the story and before I give him the satisfaction of Jericho, I ask him what he thought the story of Mary & Martha meant.  His answer nearly blew me off my cushion.

"If you are too busy you won't be able to hear what Jesus is saying."

Well, that will do it.  A 4-year old is breaking down the very message of that story in a way I have never heard it explained.  Oh sure, I have always identified with Martha:

• I'm a "doer"... and "doers" are movers and shakers.
• I'm Martha...I'm responsible, resourceful... people won't eat if I'm not in there making it (or heating it up out of the package.)
• I'm the one who gets stuff done... I can't sit down... Mary is going to be living at home forever...she has no drive or ambition.

But for my child (remember, God calls us to have "child-like faith") to simply point out that when we get too busy, we can't hear Jesus talk.  Wow.

I've really wrestled with this over the course of this week.  As many of you know, I threw my back out over a week ago (thankfully just 2 protruded/bulging discs and so I'm back to rehab today) but for the last 7 days I've been horizontal and in a bit of a pain-killer haze.  Instead of just getting silent and still... I've filled my time w/ catching up on past seasons of favorite shows, googling like crazy and of course.. a lot of sleeping.  Now I'm not chastising myself, but I'm pointing out the obvious...

Graphic by: Natalie Ryder Design

This is not my default choice.  This was not Martha's default.  Please don't misunderstand the point of my message... it's actually one that should inspire us.  If you are a Martha... ROCK your Martha... plan the best parties, post on Pinterest, create.... do... serve... move... make it happen!!!!

Just know... and take my son's advice... "We can't always hear God when we're moving and shaking." Sometimes we need to stop.  Get in the room where God is speaking and listen.  

It reminds me of my middle son who gets so frustrated when he misses a question on a test because he didn't slow down to read all the way through the problem.  When we slow down, we allow our brain to rest; it's at those times, God can speak the loudest.  How many of you get your best ideas in the shower?  Because as moms, its the ONLY TIME BESIDES PEEING THAT WE GET PEACE AND QUIET!!!

So dear Marthas..... tell me one way you can slow down to hear God's beautiful voice today?  He might want to give you the answer to prayer you've been waiting for... the perfect solution to a problem you've been wrestling with.... inspiration for your next project.... whatever it is- tell me about it here and share your thoughts with the rest of us.  I'm so thankful you will.