Oh yes... familiar words. Let's see... mostly frustrated by them in 2006, only to be repeated again in 2009. Yep...once again I hear them in 2012. No, its not related to a 3-year La-Nina pattern or some whacked-out election or Olympics schedule.... instead they are famous words spoken by a 2 1/2 year old:
"No! I wanna do it by myself."
When my oldest said it... it was the first sign of rebellion; being the overly-educated, overly-read, uptight, strict, planned-everything, fed carob and called it chocolate to my child kind of mom... I was shocked. And irritated.
"Listen here, puppet boy.... I am your mom and I will snap your carseat buckle because 1- I am the only one on the planet who can figure the stupid thing out. 2- You are supposed to just get in your chair and be compliant with your flash cards and veggie booty because every parenting book I read talked about how I need to show you who is in control and 3- I have a belly extending to the state line carrying your little brother; I don't have the back-pain tolerance to stand here for 12 minutes while you THINK you can buckle this contraption."
Okay so the quotations were not really to mean that I spoke them out loud...but those were definitely my thoughts.
Of course by 2009, when my 2nd boy spoke the words, it wasn't as much shock as it was just pure irritation. I did NOT have time for him to be self-sufficient... I was late, for something...somewhere...always. After all, now I was already responsible for one child who, of course, I had enrolled into a billion things because, isn't that what you are supposed to do? So, truly, little 2 1/2 year old...love of my life.... you'll learn how to buckle that "from lucifer, PARENTS top-pick" car seat buckle when you are old enough to drive. We have swim lessons, Kindermusik, soccer, gymnastics, Montessori and play dates to go to. It's already taken us 17 minutes to get out the front door, attempt using the potty for M&M's, wiped the melted M&M's off your face, changed mommy's pants, gone back in for a soccer ball, a diaper and my phone. For the LOVE OF GOD, LET THE BUCKLE GO!
Which brings me to 2012. My 3rd. This is the kid who wakes up and says, "Where are we going?" (Oh yeah, I didn't learn many of my lessons about signing my kids up for too many things... still a work in progress!) But, now you have to factor in grocery shopping (at 4 different stores mind you), trips to the gym (AKA physical therapy), buy teacher gifts ,coach gifts and birthday party gifts; play dates, trips to the park so 3 boys don't start chewing my slippers and of course, the trip to Starbucks for moms' "sanity in a white cup."
So I love it...my 3rd is the most amazing little guy, that I can appreciate a bit more for many reasons. He's my last and I suppose there's a wispy bit of nostalgia that just helps you slow down and appreciate this point. He also happens to be the most "go with the flow;" I would argue that his first words were probably quoting the Go Diego Go video that played 371 times in my car's DVD player while he was in the womb. I suppose there is probably a good case for his attitude correlating to the fact that my shoulders are no longer up at my ears and those parenting books have become GREAT coasters (with lots of coffee rings to prove it.)
And so it was about 2 months ago that I hear the famous words, "NO! I can do it." This time around, I say, "Go for it." You see, I'll just park you in the car 10 minutes early because I'm still going to make 4 trips to the car, remind older ones of going potty, pack snacks as if there is no such thing as AAA or roadside assistance and probably change my pants because well, I've birthed 3 kids and probably sneezed that morning. To me, the words, "I can do it" are merely a chance for me to check-off some developmental progress report in my head. Yep...he's tracking right on time.
A lot of workup for this point: I was going for the angle that even as adults, we can tend to get caught up in a "Do it ourselves!" attitude. After all, I'm an accomplished, educated mom of 3 boys... "I can do it by myself." I know most of us moms (and this goes for you too, dads, tend to refuse help if offered.)
"No, I got it..really...thank you though." (While struggling up the stairs with 9 bags of groceries slung onto my arms, the plastic bands gouging into my skin...what's up with that?) Just sayin'.
The 4 year old's birthday party for 73 people that has you up until 2 am because you saw a cupcake design on Pinterest that you simply had to try and make. (OK, now I am laughing out loud.)
And then for those of us that speak "Christianeese," we'll go as so far to ensure we are praying for God's help with things.... and then go right on to try and do it ourselves.
"God, I pray that you will open doors of opportunity." But, just in case, I am going to muscle my way through this door with all my might...prying it open with a crow bar if I need to.
"God, I pray that you will help me have more patience with my children!" And while you are doing that, God, I am going to check out 17 books about how to be a better mom.
"God, I pray that you would let me off the hook as I am getting pulled over and not get a ticket." (as we chuck our cell phone under the seat and have our children wave to the police officer.)
The bible says that we are to have child-like Faith. Yes... child-like faith is not cloudy with doubts, and times of disappointments. Child-like faith is the same faith that God has in us...he doesn't doubt us or remember our past failures, screw ups and disappointments.
But what I'm pondering out loud (or, in type, I suppose) is how we can learn how to STOP telling God, "NO! I do it by myself!" Why?
"I am the vine, you are the branches. Remain in me and I remain in you. Apart from Me, you can do nothing." -John 5:15
I could write a chapter (hmmm...food for thought) about this concept, because I don't want to lose you here...this is important:
While God cannot steer a parked car, as we must be the "vehicles" for Him to do his work IN us, we must also realize that it is not in our own strength that our victories are created. But we get impatient, don't we? We pray and then when the skies don't immediately open with fire and thunder, we get to work, trying to accomplish it ourselves. I heard a great line a couple of years ago...
"God doesn't pay the bills when the bill comes. He pays them the night before they are due."
How else would you know its Him?
Don't get me wrong... I love it when God is on Instant Messenger... I really do. "God, where on earth did I place my keys?" (And who better to ask "where on earth?") All the sudden I am picturing a random drawer in my head and voila...there are my keys! Thank you Jesus!
But today, I'm asking you to try walking out on the water and exercising your faith. Stop insisting that you will buckle that carseat on your own. Do your part- Ask God for that miracle or answered prayer in your life. Go potty, wash your hands, pack a snack, climb up into the chair... and then sit back and let God do his work in You.
