Wow, how time flies. I hope you have enjoyed the last week or so; whether you were planning, taking or recovering from a Spring Break, welcome! If you read my last entry and didn't take any action on my first 5 points, I swear this weather probably reinforced the ditch dwelling (feeling like you are in a rut.) You seriously might have even started to decorate your ditch...order some matching pillows and eco-friendly outdoor carpets...because the "will this rain ever end" doldrums definitely got me!
Did you move forward? Did you have an "aha" moment? To share, I have definitely taken ahold of #1 (meet frequently.) Since I moved back to Seattle, I have practically forced people to meet with me (and lets face it, forced their kids to entertain my kids!) But the outcome has always been well worth it. I am not up for meeting with people that have to make a big deal out of a "play date." If I arrive and you're all dolled up and have organized crafts at the table when I show up, and I'm outta there. I need to know I can exhale around my buds, and you know what; your friends do too. (Back to that "authentic" rant I went on last week...read my last post to catch up.) So without further ado...here is the 2nd half of my ideas to get you "outta the ditch."
6. Humility. Get over yourself...quickly. I say this with all the love in my heart because its one of the hardest things for me...but I heard something really good on this last night. You aren't first and you never will be. When you can realize that you AREN'T in control over every aspect of your life, it gets a whole lot easier. If you need to ask me who is first, let's talk. :) In all seriousness, however, its gaining a sense of humility that allows you to stop looking at yourself all the time and start looking outwards. You can't do life by yourself and I know I mentioned this last time but you have to be willing to ask for help. And people love to help, they just don't know how to offer or jump in. So stop carrying the world on your shoulders. Get out of the car, get into shotgun, surrender the wheel and if the car ain't moving right away, ask your friends to help you push it out of the rut.
7. Honesty. With yourself...and with everyone around you. Do you know an honest answer is a sign of a true friendship? Now, we could dive off about the subject of timing, tact, delivery, etc....but if you are reading this, I trust you get it. People appreciate frankness more than flattery...we all see flattery coming from a mile away and its nauseating. But there are a few guidelines for being honest. Complement in public, correct in private. Nobody, I mean nobody, regardless of age wants to be deflated in front of others. There is a time and place..but I guarantee in this fallen world, we do not GENUINELY compliment enough in public. I challenge you to find 3 people every day you can compliment. I also guarantee you'll feel 10 times better than you did before you started giving your compliments away.
8. Mercy. To get out of our rut, we are going to have to rise above and learn how to operate out of a position of mercy. It's something we definitely don't deserve but its not about a push/pull or a "he didn't so I'm not" type of deal. Mercy is forgiveness and compassion and "wiping the slate clean" when really, we are deserving of a right hook to the jaw. Having mercy for one another is hard all by itself; you should probably start with courtesy, sympathy and humility before you jump right into mercy. Why? Oh, its one of those "who forgives first? Well, the person with the most maturity." situations. Ouch...but mercy without strings is a tough thing to give without first walking out those other values in your daily life. In fact, when you learn to walk out humility, you'll see that not much is actually about you and mercy is easy to give! I love how simple the recipe really is!
9. Confidentiality. O.K. I'll admit... in high school, I was a gossip HOUND! It was almost like having the edge of who was doing what made me feel more important because people knew they could come to me and get the dish. Well, I'm so gloriously happy to say that sassy sista' in me died years ago and I realize the power of our words can be life or death. If you want outta the ditch, you can't be throwing everyone else into one. Quite honestly, (because that is number 7), stop gossiping. If one person tells you something about themselves...pretty sure they know how to tell other people if they wanted to. No one appointed you spokesperson for anyone's life and until they do (with full salary, pension plan and benefits) then we truly aren't at liberty to discuss their affairs without their permission. Good grief people, its the one time you should TALK ABOUT YOURSELVES and not someone else... so go for it!
10. The last advice I can give you about getting yourself outta that ditch is this: unity. We should all have a common purpose. Maybe that should just be making these changes so the community becomes a better place. Maybe its changing your tune so that you're outta the ditch. Whatever it is, I believe we're all created to want the best. I don't know of many unmedicated people who throw their legs over the bed and say, "lets see if I can make THIS day the worst ever!" So find unity in whomever you hang around, your group of peeps, etc. If you can't find any unity well then under my breath I say you better re-evaluate who you are hanging out with but formally I would encourage you to find something you enjoy doing and then find some friends who enjoy doing the same thing. Fitness? Bible Study? Scrapbooking? Shopping? Park-hopping? Doesn't really matter, just begin to realize that we are all on this earth for 50-90 years and we better starting finding some commonalities instead of scrutinizing the differences. I think you'll be amazed at how many similarities you find once you start looking. Celebrate the differences without requiring everyone around you to conform to YOUR values. (Mostly because number 6 says to have humility.) lol.
Wow, I have to say I'm a bit convicted of some of my own "rut-like" habits. Time to get out the eraser and a little WD-40 to tune up the ol' heart, mind and soul. So now you have 10 ideas to run with and I'm curious... which one whacked you upside the head? O.K., maybe more importantly, which one whacked you upside the heart? Let me know and in the meantime, have a great time getting outta the ditch and back onto the highway.
-Erin
