Wow... so much I could write about that has transpired over the last three months but I think my brain is still processing and the entry would read more like a therapy transcript than a blog entry. If you know me personally, you'll know the last few months have been an amazing season of miracles, being stretched and walking in the dark. Oh how I long for a flashlight...strike that.... flood lamp!
I thought long and hard about the title of my entry... all of about 15 seconds. I was going to title it "10 ideas to change the world," but quite honestly, if I was sitting down with a cup of tea, coffee or wine... I wouldn't want to read how to change the world. It's enough to get a shower, blow dry AND curl my eyelashes... so changing the world? Another day, another season perhaps. So, after weighing out my "go get 'em" persona and my "are you kidding me?" persona...both win. Overwhelmed mom gets the title and my "go get 'em" alter ego gets the content.
The mom in me says its easy to get ourselves into a routine and quite frankly, that routine can be full of mundane and isolating activities. I realized this was the first time in over 30 days I have had time to myself without someone under 52" needing my attention. Still, my toddler is jumping up and down in the crib and I realize, with a slight attitude of defeat, that this means my ambitious afternoon hopes are in serious jeopardy because my little one will be a nightmare without a nap... making our upcoming playdate look more like a scene from a underfunded, understaffed child care center. Oh joy.
So how do we do it... how do we shake up our day, put on a happy face and do more than just "hope" for a happier existence and disposition? I heard these 10 ideas last week and thought I would pass them on... having gone through the "burbs" filter, of course! Chew on these and I'll throw you the other 5 soon!
1. Meet frequently with others. We are created to be in community with other people. No one was supposed to raise children, support and run their household by driving into our garage and shutting the garage door behind us, never to see another soul. Set up people that you can meet with regularly, even if the kiddos are running around outside or in a Starbucks; get in front of the same people on a consistent basis. Set up a potluck dinner group and get over the fact that you don't have perfect place settings. I don't remember a gathering where I remembered the napkin holders more than the people and the food that was shared.
2. Be authentic. Stop trying to be perfect... til you get to Heaven you are going to fall short every time so give it up! People sense authenticity and quite frankly, its refreshing. You never know when your honesty is going to "give permission" for someone else to not be so hard on themselves. It's amazing how much we compare to one another but if we aren't real, then we're comparing against a version that doesn't exist.
3. Get some friends. Together, we are stronger. We weren't created to do everything on our own. I remember asking my mom how on earth our grandmothers raised so many children in the house without losing their marbles. My mom's first reponse is that they didn't do it alone. We as a culture used to live closer to extended family who would help carry the load and relied on neighbors to "form a village" and support one another. The fact is, that if you try and do it all yourself you are going to burn out. People are genuinely created to want to help, most often we just don't know how to jump in... so let 'em know! Let someone else receive satisfaction for helping you out and in turn, you'll get the break you need.
4. Refresh your courtesy "bucket." We all have one... its that bucket in your heart that gives grace to others that may test your patience, rub you the wrong way, etc. Everyone has their own history and unless we know it all, we have no idea what their story is and why they do what they do. The next person who cuts over at last minute may not, in fact, be a narcisstic jerk but might actually be driving this road for the first time. The neighbor who's dog pooped in your yard may be inside dealing with unruly children, a traveling husband and is at her wit's end... an escaped pooping dog is the least of her concerns at the present moment. (And no, that's not my personal story!) Call it grace...call it courtesy...but we could all give a little more and hope to receive some back.
5. The last one to stew on for today is Sympathy. Yes, it goes with Courtesy but to me, courtesy is choosing "not" to chew someone's head off, tell them their #1 w/ your finger (shame on you!) or any other lack of respect gesture or comment. Sympathy is actually wearing their situation. You know the saying, you haven't walked a mile in their shoes. Well I am here to say that you might benefit from at least trying them on. No, this doesn't mean you sign up for the next season of wife swap, but it does mean you seek to understand what others are going through. Compassion, my friends, is a life-changer. When we stop to find compassion/have sympathy on those around us, those we come into contact with... it gives us a holy perspective that we are all weak and frail. That humility, most often, makes our lives brighten up... not by comparison...but realizing we're not the only one on this earth going through something.
Wishing you the best as you let this soak in. Let me know what you think; which "number" spoke to you the most?
