Yep... my pen is itching. Maybe it was the sheer number of visits to my last post, maybe it was just the exhilerating feeling I got while I was writing yesterday... maybe, just maybe, this writing thing is starting to come together. My kids were at the table yesterday doing their homework w/ a friend and on the kitchen computer screen was my Blog's home page. My 3rd grader and his friend were getting a kick out of reading the last entry (Love is not an option) and kept asking, "Wow, how did you write all of this? How did you THINK of all of this?" I could have said, "Welcome to my head... its a mixer party up in there!" but instead I just blurted out, "God."
What a profound knee-jerk response it was... I didn't even really think it through... it just came out. So today, even with a ton of things to get done; floors to be swept and vacuumed, the kitchen sink resembles an earthquake aftermath and I"m pretty sure eveyone's wearing their last pair of clean underwear... I just wanted to write. Will I finally write a chapter in my outlined future best seller? Not today. Do I have earth shattering news? Nope. But I know one thing... I am SUPPOSED to write today.... its part of His plan.
For those of you as fleshly narcisstic as I tend to be, you might be wondering what this has to do with you? Actually, this topic is for everyone... because we all need to learn to hold our horses. I love the bumper sticker (which is saying something, I usually despise bumper stickers... I find them a passive agressive way to communicate what you should just be saying out loud!) Anyhooooo, the sticker that says "We plan, God laughs." I suppose its a spin from Psalms 16:9 which states that "We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps." (NLT.)
We can plan with the best of intentions but we truly have no idea what our future holds. Only God does. So while we are designed to make choices, have free will, plan for the future... one thing is for certain, we don't have any control over it. And I think that is why its so important that we learn to hold our horses...for we have no idea (truly) as to what our plans will produce in His timing. (For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11, NLT)
I think in this day and age we get very frustrated when things don't happen the way we want them to... especially with regards to timing. I mean, how spoiled have we become? 100 years ago a woman my age was on the verge of being dead. Had she still been alive (ahem,) she would have spent all day either warming bathtub water, creaming butter or grinding wheat. C'mon, now I get irritated when my chicken breasts take 11 minutes to go from frozen (oh yeah, in my temperature controlled Garage freezer, no less) to defrosted so I can throw them in my double oven to have dinner ready 35 minutes later. We are a society and generation of NO patience. Yet we have no knowledge of future events, nor are we privy to what lays ahead and how it affects timing as it relates to our "today." All we know is that we have planted desires in our heart and in HIS timing, they will come together... which, might I add, will produce the greatest outcome for us as well!!! Did you ever notice how when you finally accomplish something you have had your heart set at...its always at the right time? On the flip, pay attention to how it feels when you are trying to push for something and its really not "coming together" or if it does, it didn't bring you any satisfaction, or it felt like a struggle? Aha.... God's timing.
He alone can see what is coming. It doesn't really work when we want to do this whole God thing, but only in an advisory capacity. Um...he's good. I don't think he's posting any Craig's List ads for counsel in the "gigs" section...so you are going to have to trust me that if you can just "hold your horses" and do your part TODAY... he will exhalt you in due time.
So hold on to your dreams and lifelong goal list... they are important...its what God has created you to be (or some version of it, we'll get to that in another post!) The heart of the matter is that we walk by faith, not by sight. Listen to what you are to do today, because His ways are bigger than ours and quite frankly, the guy just knows more than we do. I know today's Blog entry won't cause me to wake up tomorrow with a publishing contract or an amazing speaking opportunity (although I do use my scrambled eggs spatula as a microphone sometimes) but it will have been just one thread woven together in the tapestry of my life as God intended it to be. Besides, laundry and dirty floors will still exist after I have pased in this life... just like your inbox, and your Facebook page.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Love is not an option
This morning I was struck by the fatigue that had already set in while I was trying to get my oldest out the door. You see, he is a "lid pusher." My definition: A Lid-pusher is someone who, if placed in a tupperware bowl, would continue to jump and try to push the lid off rather than sit down and accept that they are stuck inside a bowl. As a parent, I know that my responsibility is to help harness the gifts that God has granted to my oldest son so that he might use them for good. But let me tell you, sometimes, it's exhausting. I mean, we battled everything; breakfast (mind you, HE requested the scrambled eggs!,) picture day attire and finally, what his hair was going to look like before he exited the door at 8:06 this morning.
Since I'm not asking for advice, those of you ready to dole out the "choose your battles" advice, you can keep it in. Because truth is, I already do! I don't care if his clothes are "weather correct," if he decides to eat vitamins with breakfast or dinner or even how many times he wants to wear that jacket before its washed! So trust you me, you wanna rock that t-shirt with those pair of shorts, go for it! Oh yeah, five shades of blue in your outfit, plaids and stripes? You bet. Quite frankly, I don't have the time or energy...and its your potential shark waters at school, not mine.
So as not to run the risk of having child protective services knock on my door, lets circle back. Some things are NOT negotiable. And today, what shirt you wear and your hair style, on picture day, was not negotiable. I'm not writing a check only to send Grandma and Grandpa a picture of my son resembling Alfalfa.
Isn't it funny what specific battles we try and win with people? I find it fascinating to do life with other parents and observe what their "control buttons" are. Manners? Attire? Daily routines? What drives us to prioritize what we kick and scream over, discipline over, shake our fists over... or pray over?
I was reading about Jesus's last supper with his disciples and while most of us know that this was to be his last time "teaching" and "advising" his disciples, it struck me smack upside the head at what his last set of "instructions" were. Love one another. (John 13:34)
What I love about Jesus is that while he didn't scream, shake a fist, or threaten to take the Wii away if a instruction was not followed; nor did he teach or instruct with some back door option of "well, I'm just throwing out some suggestions, pick which ones work for you." Oh no, he was pretty straight forward about the guidance he gave his disciples. When I read that, it really made me think, "Wow... so loving one another isn't really an option...it's a mandate." It's the "you WILL have combed-down hair on picture day" battles. He goes on to say that it is by loving one another that He will know his disciples.
Fast forward 2011 years. If you believe that there is a God... hes still asking you to love one another. Not just the easy ones... no, one another... as in... all! Yep..the one who flipped you off for driving 65 in the carpool lane. The one who pulled out 73 coupons in the grocery store when you were late to begin with. The co-worker who surfs the net all day long and makes more than you and oh yes, the person who gave you the dirty look because your child threw a fit in the Red Robin. (And for goodness sakes, who thinks Red Robin is a quiet restaurant to begin with????) We are to love them. Why? Because He asked us to. Why we gotta do this? (Just pretending to be my 5 year old for a moment.) Because He loved us first.
You know what is going to happen if you adopt the "love isn't an option" attitude? You're going to rock the world. You're going to show patience to that super-couponer and know that God will make up the time that you lost waiting for the checker to scan through her 72 boxes of cereal. You are going to prove the cranky couple at Red Robin wrong because you are going to stare right back with a big smile... and the love will shine through your eyes when you look at them...and they will notice...that something is different about you. I bet if you are consistent at loving every person you come into contact with, you are going to genuinely brighten someone's day; you may be the catalyst to improving the morale at your office, at your book club, in the Starbucks parking lot (which may, in of itself, start a revolution!) Try it... and let me know what what happens!
Since I'm not asking for advice, those of you ready to dole out the "choose your battles" advice, you can keep it in. Because truth is, I already do! I don't care if his clothes are "weather correct," if he decides to eat vitamins with breakfast or dinner or even how many times he wants to wear that jacket before its washed! So trust you me, you wanna rock that t-shirt with those pair of shorts, go for it! Oh yeah, five shades of blue in your outfit, plaids and stripes? You bet. Quite frankly, I don't have the time or energy...and its your potential shark waters at school, not mine.
So as not to run the risk of having child protective services knock on my door, lets circle back. Some things are NOT negotiable. And today, what shirt you wear and your hair style, on picture day, was not negotiable. I'm not writing a check only to send Grandma and Grandpa a picture of my son resembling Alfalfa.
Isn't it funny what specific battles we try and win with people? I find it fascinating to do life with other parents and observe what their "control buttons" are. Manners? Attire? Daily routines? What drives us to prioritize what we kick and scream over, discipline over, shake our fists over... or pray over?
I was reading about Jesus's last supper with his disciples and while most of us know that this was to be his last time "teaching" and "advising" his disciples, it struck me smack upside the head at what his last set of "instructions" were. Love one another. (John 13:34)
What I love about Jesus is that while he didn't scream, shake a fist, or threaten to take the Wii away if a instruction was not followed; nor did he teach or instruct with some back door option of "well, I'm just throwing out some suggestions, pick which ones work for you." Oh no, he was pretty straight forward about the guidance he gave his disciples. When I read that, it really made me think, "Wow... so loving one another isn't really an option...it's a mandate." It's the "you WILL have combed-down hair on picture day" battles. He goes on to say that it is by loving one another that He will know his disciples.
Fast forward 2011 years. If you believe that there is a God... hes still asking you to love one another. Not just the easy ones... no, one another... as in... all! Yep..the one who flipped you off for driving 65 in the carpool lane. The one who pulled out 73 coupons in the grocery store when you were late to begin with. The co-worker who surfs the net all day long and makes more than you and oh yes, the person who gave you the dirty look because your child threw a fit in the Red Robin. (And for goodness sakes, who thinks Red Robin is a quiet restaurant to begin with????) We are to love them. Why? Because He asked us to. Why we gotta do this? (Just pretending to be my 5 year old for a moment.) Because He loved us first.
You know what is going to happen if you adopt the "love isn't an option" attitude? You're going to rock the world. You're going to show patience to that super-couponer and know that God will make up the time that you lost waiting for the checker to scan through her 72 boxes of cereal. You are going to prove the cranky couple at Red Robin wrong because you are going to stare right back with a big smile... and the love will shine through your eyes when you look at them...and they will notice...that something is different about you. I bet if you are consistent at loving every person you come into contact with, you are going to genuinely brighten someone's day; you may be the catalyst to improving the morale at your office, at your book club, in the Starbucks parking lot (which may, in of itself, start a revolution!) Try it... and let me know what what happens!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Are you an angry bird?
Today was a challenging one... and I write this at 2:32 in the afternoon, which for some of you, may mean you've been rolling for just few hours. For people like my husband, the day is already 12 hours long. Regardless, I am just admitting that it started out challenging and just kept on going. Not really anything catastrophic, but rather, situation after situation that required me to search within myself to get through. Waking up late and not having my son's lunch packed, running to the bus stop in God knows what clothing and realzing I'm sloshing my 30 lb toddler on my hip... with, a very poopy diaper. (Stay with me... I'm getting to my point.) I decided to stay at home instead of head to the gym after listening to my 5 year old complain that he never gets to play with me. Yeah, we know where that is headed... by 11:30 I am frustrated, haven't gotten out of the front door, the house is trashed, I haven't worked out and got about 11 minutes of quality play time with my son.
To top it off I quickly kiss my Kindergarten son off to the bus for his school day and then dash behind him in my car because I agreed to volunteer in his classroom twice a month. Never fails, I get the messy projects. At least it wasn't frosting sugar cookies... THAT literally gives me cold sweats. Close, however... I am helping 5 year olds watercolor their fall leaves they cut out of paper. Right. Only half of them know how to use a paintbrush. One doesn't want to get her sweater dirty. One boy wants new water every time he dips his brush. Did I mention that I'm also supervising my 25 month toddler and asking him to not disrupt the class while they have independent reading. And how exactly am I to do that when my shape and color-obsessed toddler is running around the classroom, squealing in delight, shouting out "diamond, circle and triangle?" WHAT WAS I THINKING????
I treated myself to a (sloooowwww) run on the treadmill this afternoon and heard a podcast about the importance of pillars in a building; a pillar representing one of your true values. If the pillar gets knocked over or becomes weak, the whole building crumbles. I got a visual of the game Angry Birds and chuckled thinking of how good my 5 year old is at angling that slingshot and launching those birds right into the concrete and wood buildings... watching them slowly teeter, wobble and fall... crashing into rubble. Now, my SON playing is not the point of this rant. When I play Angry Birds... I aim as best I can but the darn bird just ends up lightly thumping the concrete and rolling back over, having hit their head on the cement... not really affecting the integrity of the structure at all... in fact, I swear those stinkin pigs are laughing at me.
Are you still tracking me? The point is... its important to identify what your "pillars" are... and what your "angry birds" look like. Your pillars should represent the things that make you "YOU." Your values, beliefs, dreams, and goals. Your angry birds should be the things you end up doing with your time. We all have the exact same amount of time... no matter your status, wealth or accolades, we're all on an even playing field. So is what you are doing with your time knocking over the walls of who you are? Circle back to my morning... I filled it with "works" and "tasks" that I don't particularly enjoy doing. We do it all the time...and most of us justify it quite well. "I really should be in my child's classroom." "It's just one morning a month." "They needed volunteers." Listen... if you don't get a kick out of doing it, then get out. Now, because I know this could start a rash of EVERY mom backing out of EVERYTHING then I will say... sometimes we should do a few things we don't "feel" like doing because the world needs our helping hands... but in general, every time you add something to your plate that doesn't match up with the dreams and desires God placed in your heart... you run the potential of that very thing becoming the angry bird that knocks your wall down. The result? Burnt out, bummed out, tired and frustrated.
Hopefully this will get you thinking. I encourage you to write down all of the commitments you have in your life. Then make a column... they either go on the "brings joy" category or "downer" category. See if you can't realign some of your activities to find the ones that you are not only gifted to do, but bring you joy, energy and a sense of satisfaction!
To top it off I quickly kiss my Kindergarten son off to the bus for his school day and then dash behind him in my car because I agreed to volunteer in his classroom twice a month. Never fails, I get the messy projects. At least it wasn't frosting sugar cookies... THAT literally gives me cold sweats. Close, however... I am helping 5 year olds watercolor their fall leaves they cut out of paper. Right. Only half of them know how to use a paintbrush. One doesn't want to get her sweater dirty. One boy wants new water every time he dips his brush. Did I mention that I'm also supervising my 25 month toddler and asking him to not disrupt the class while they have independent reading. And how exactly am I to do that when my shape and color-obsessed toddler is running around the classroom, squealing in delight, shouting out "diamond, circle and triangle?" WHAT WAS I THINKING????
I treated myself to a (sloooowwww) run on the treadmill this afternoon and heard a podcast about the importance of pillars in a building; a pillar representing one of your true values. If the pillar gets knocked over or becomes weak, the whole building crumbles. I got a visual of the game Angry Birds and chuckled thinking of how good my 5 year old is at angling that slingshot and launching those birds right into the concrete and wood buildings... watching them slowly teeter, wobble and fall... crashing into rubble. Now, my SON playing is not the point of this rant. When I play Angry Birds... I aim as best I can but the darn bird just ends up lightly thumping the concrete and rolling back over, having hit their head on the cement... not really affecting the integrity of the structure at all... in fact, I swear those stinkin pigs are laughing at me.
Are you still tracking me? The point is... its important to identify what your "pillars" are... and what your "angry birds" look like. Your pillars should represent the things that make you "YOU." Your values, beliefs, dreams, and goals. Your angry birds should be the things you end up doing with your time. We all have the exact same amount of time... no matter your status, wealth or accolades, we're all on an even playing field. So is what you are doing with your time knocking over the walls of who you are? Circle back to my morning... I filled it with "works" and "tasks" that I don't particularly enjoy doing. We do it all the time...and most of us justify it quite well. "I really should be in my child's classroom." "It's just one morning a month." "They needed volunteers." Listen... if you don't get a kick out of doing it, then get out. Now, because I know this could start a rash of EVERY mom backing out of EVERYTHING then I will say... sometimes we should do a few things we don't "feel" like doing because the world needs our helping hands... but in general, every time you add something to your plate that doesn't match up with the dreams and desires God placed in your heart... you run the potential of that very thing becoming the angry bird that knocks your wall down. The result? Burnt out, bummed out, tired and frustrated.
Hopefully this will get you thinking. I encourage you to write down all of the commitments you have in your life. Then make a column... they either go on the "brings joy" category or "downer" category. See if you can't realign some of your activities to find the ones that you are not only gifted to do, but bring you joy, energy and a sense of satisfaction!
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Getta out of the Ditch- part 2
Wow, how time flies. I hope you have enjoyed the last week or so; whether you were planning, taking or recovering from a Spring Break, welcome! If you read my last entry and didn't take any action on my first 5 points, I swear this weather probably reinforced the ditch dwelling (feeling like you are in a rut.) You seriously might have even started to decorate your ditch...order some matching pillows and eco-friendly outdoor carpets...because the "will this rain ever end" doldrums definitely got me!
Did you move forward? Did you have an "aha" moment? To share, I have definitely taken ahold of #1 (meet frequently.) Since I moved back to Seattle, I have practically forced people to meet with me (and lets face it, forced their kids to entertain my kids!) But the outcome has always been well worth it. I am not up for meeting with people that have to make a big deal out of a "play date." If I arrive and you're all dolled up and have organized crafts at the table when I show up, and I'm outta there. I need to know I can exhale around my buds, and you know what; your friends do too. (Back to that "authentic" rant I went on last week...read my last post to catch up.) So without further ado...here is the 2nd half of my ideas to get you "outta the ditch."
6. Humility. Get over yourself...quickly. I say this with all the love in my heart because its one of the hardest things for me...but I heard something really good on this last night. You aren't first and you never will be. When you can realize that you AREN'T in control over every aspect of your life, it gets a whole lot easier. If you need to ask me who is first, let's talk. :) In all seriousness, however, its gaining a sense of humility that allows you to stop looking at yourself all the time and start looking outwards. You can't do life by yourself and I know I mentioned this last time but you have to be willing to ask for help. And people love to help, they just don't know how to offer or jump in. So stop carrying the world on your shoulders. Get out of the car, get into shotgun, surrender the wheel and if the car ain't moving right away, ask your friends to help you push it out of the rut.
7. Honesty. With yourself...and with everyone around you. Do you know an honest answer is a sign of a true friendship? Now, we could dive off about the subject of timing, tact, delivery, etc....but if you are reading this, I trust you get it. People appreciate frankness more than flattery...we all see flattery coming from a mile away and its nauseating. But there are a few guidelines for being honest. Complement in public, correct in private. Nobody, I mean nobody, regardless of age wants to be deflated in front of others. There is a time and place..but I guarantee in this fallen world, we do not GENUINELY compliment enough in public. I challenge you to find 3 people every day you can compliment. I also guarantee you'll feel 10 times better than you did before you started giving your compliments away.
8. Mercy. To get out of our rut, we are going to have to rise above and learn how to operate out of a position of mercy. It's something we definitely don't deserve but its not about a push/pull or a "he didn't so I'm not" type of deal. Mercy is forgiveness and compassion and "wiping the slate clean" when really, we are deserving of a right hook to the jaw. Having mercy for one another is hard all by itself; you should probably start with courtesy, sympathy and humility before you jump right into mercy. Why? Oh, its one of those "who forgives first? Well, the person with the most maturity." situations. Ouch...but mercy without strings is a tough thing to give without first walking out those other values in your daily life. In fact, when you learn to walk out humility, you'll see that not much is actually about you and mercy is easy to give! I love how simple the recipe really is!
9. Confidentiality. O.K. I'll admit... in high school, I was a gossip HOUND! It was almost like having the edge of who was doing what made me feel more important because people knew they could come to me and get the dish. Well, I'm so gloriously happy to say that sassy sista' in me died years ago and I realize the power of our words can be life or death. If you want outta the ditch, you can't be throwing everyone else into one. Quite honestly, (because that is number 7), stop gossiping. If one person tells you something about themselves...pretty sure they know how to tell other people if they wanted to. No one appointed you spokesperson for anyone's life and until they do (with full salary, pension plan and benefits) then we truly aren't at liberty to discuss their affairs without their permission. Good grief people, its the one time you should TALK ABOUT YOURSELVES and not someone else... so go for it!
10. The last advice I can give you about getting yourself outta that ditch is this: unity. We should all have a common purpose. Maybe that should just be making these changes so the community becomes a better place. Maybe its changing your tune so that you're outta the ditch. Whatever it is, I believe we're all created to want the best. I don't know of many unmedicated people who throw their legs over the bed and say, "lets see if I can make THIS day the worst ever!" So find unity in whomever you hang around, your group of peeps, etc. If you can't find any unity well then under my breath I say you better re-evaluate who you are hanging out with but formally I would encourage you to find something you enjoy doing and then find some friends who enjoy doing the same thing. Fitness? Bible Study? Scrapbooking? Shopping? Park-hopping? Doesn't really matter, just begin to realize that we are all on this earth for 50-90 years and we better starting finding some commonalities instead of scrutinizing the differences. I think you'll be amazed at how many similarities you find once you start looking. Celebrate the differences without requiring everyone around you to conform to YOUR values. (Mostly because number 6 says to have humility.) lol.
Wow, I have to say I'm a bit convicted of some of my own "rut-like" habits. Time to get out the eraser and a little WD-40 to tune up the ol' heart, mind and soul. So now you have 10 ideas to run with and I'm curious... which one whacked you upside the head? O.K., maybe more importantly, which one whacked you upside the heart? Let me know and in the meantime, have a great time getting outta the ditch and back onto the highway.
-Erin
Did you move forward? Did you have an "aha" moment? To share, I have definitely taken ahold of #1 (meet frequently.) Since I moved back to Seattle, I have practically forced people to meet with me (and lets face it, forced their kids to entertain my kids!) But the outcome has always been well worth it. I am not up for meeting with people that have to make a big deal out of a "play date." If I arrive and you're all dolled up and have organized crafts at the table when I show up, and I'm outta there. I need to know I can exhale around my buds, and you know what; your friends do too. (Back to that "authentic" rant I went on last week...read my last post to catch up.) So without further ado...here is the 2nd half of my ideas to get you "outta the ditch."
6. Humility. Get over yourself...quickly. I say this with all the love in my heart because its one of the hardest things for me...but I heard something really good on this last night. You aren't first and you never will be. When you can realize that you AREN'T in control over every aspect of your life, it gets a whole lot easier. If you need to ask me who is first, let's talk. :) In all seriousness, however, its gaining a sense of humility that allows you to stop looking at yourself all the time and start looking outwards. You can't do life by yourself and I know I mentioned this last time but you have to be willing to ask for help. And people love to help, they just don't know how to offer or jump in. So stop carrying the world on your shoulders. Get out of the car, get into shotgun, surrender the wheel and if the car ain't moving right away, ask your friends to help you push it out of the rut.
7. Honesty. With yourself...and with everyone around you. Do you know an honest answer is a sign of a true friendship? Now, we could dive off about the subject of timing, tact, delivery, etc....but if you are reading this, I trust you get it. People appreciate frankness more than flattery...we all see flattery coming from a mile away and its nauseating. But there are a few guidelines for being honest. Complement in public, correct in private. Nobody, I mean nobody, regardless of age wants to be deflated in front of others. There is a time and place..but I guarantee in this fallen world, we do not GENUINELY compliment enough in public. I challenge you to find 3 people every day you can compliment. I also guarantee you'll feel 10 times better than you did before you started giving your compliments away.
8. Mercy. To get out of our rut, we are going to have to rise above and learn how to operate out of a position of mercy. It's something we definitely don't deserve but its not about a push/pull or a "he didn't so I'm not" type of deal. Mercy is forgiveness and compassion and "wiping the slate clean" when really, we are deserving of a right hook to the jaw. Having mercy for one another is hard all by itself; you should probably start with courtesy, sympathy and humility before you jump right into mercy. Why? Oh, its one of those "who forgives first? Well, the person with the most maturity." situations. Ouch...but mercy without strings is a tough thing to give without first walking out those other values in your daily life. In fact, when you learn to walk out humility, you'll see that not much is actually about you and mercy is easy to give! I love how simple the recipe really is!
9. Confidentiality. O.K. I'll admit... in high school, I was a gossip HOUND! It was almost like having the edge of who was doing what made me feel more important because people knew they could come to me and get the dish. Well, I'm so gloriously happy to say that sassy sista' in me died years ago and I realize the power of our words can be life or death. If you want outta the ditch, you can't be throwing everyone else into one. Quite honestly, (because that is number 7), stop gossiping. If one person tells you something about themselves...pretty sure they know how to tell other people if they wanted to. No one appointed you spokesperson for anyone's life and until they do (with full salary, pension plan and benefits) then we truly aren't at liberty to discuss their affairs without their permission. Good grief people, its the one time you should TALK ABOUT YOURSELVES and not someone else... so go for it!
10. The last advice I can give you about getting yourself outta that ditch is this: unity. We should all have a common purpose. Maybe that should just be making these changes so the community becomes a better place. Maybe its changing your tune so that you're outta the ditch. Whatever it is, I believe we're all created to want the best. I don't know of many unmedicated people who throw their legs over the bed and say, "lets see if I can make THIS day the worst ever!" So find unity in whomever you hang around, your group of peeps, etc. If you can't find any unity well then under my breath I say you better re-evaluate who you are hanging out with but formally I would encourage you to find something you enjoy doing and then find some friends who enjoy doing the same thing. Fitness? Bible Study? Scrapbooking? Shopping? Park-hopping? Doesn't really matter, just begin to realize that we are all on this earth for 50-90 years and we better starting finding some commonalities instead of scrutinizing the differences. I think you'll be amazed at how many similarities you find once you start looking. Celebrate the differences without requiring everyone around you to conform to YOUR values. (Mostly because number 6 says to have humility.) lol.
Wow, I have to say I'm a bit convicted of some of my own "rut-like" habits. Time to get out the eraser and a little WD-40 to tune up the ol' heart, mind and soul. So now you have 10 ideas to run with and I'm curious... which one whacked you upside the head? O.K., maybe more importantly, which one whacked you upside the heart? Let me know and in the meantime, have a great time getting outta the ditch and back onto the highway.
-Erin
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Get outta the ditch- part 1 of 2
Wow... so much I could write about that has transpired over the last three months but I think my brain is still processing and the entry would read more like a therapy transcript than a blog entry. If you know me personally, you'll know the last few months have been an amazing season of miracles, being stretched and walking in the dark. Oh how I long for a flashlight...strike that.... flood lamp!
I thought long and hard about the title of my entry... all of about 15 seconds. I was going to title it "10 ideas to change the world," but quite honestly, if I was sitting down with a cup of tea, coffee or wine... I wouldn't want to read how to change the world. It's enough to get a shower, blow dry AND curl my eyelashes... so changing the world? Another day, another season perhaps. So, after weighing out my "go get 'em" persona and my "are you kidding me?" persona...both win. Overwhelmed mom gets the title and my "go get 'em" alter ego gets the content.
The mom in me says its easy to get ourselves into a routine and quite frankly, that routine can be full of mundane and isolating activities. I realized this was the first time in over 30 days I have had time to myself without someone under 52" needing my attention. Still, my toddler is jumping up and down in the crib and I realize, with a slight attitude of defeat, that this means my ambitious afternoon hopes are in serious jeopardy because my little one will be a nightmare without a nap... making our upcoming playdate look more like a scene from a underfunded, understaffed child care center. Oh joy.
So how do we do it... how do we shake up our day, put on a happy face and do more than just "hope" for a happier existence and disposition? I heard these 10 ideas last week and thought I would pass them on... having gone through the "burbs" filter, of course! Chew on these and I'll throw you the other 5 soon!
1. Meet frequently with others. We are created to be in community with other people. No one was supposed to raise children, support and run their household by driving into our garage and shutting the garage door behind us, never to see another soul. Set up people that you can meet with regularly, even if the kiddos are running around outside or in a Starbucks; get in front of the same people on a consistent basis. Set up a potluck dinner group and get over the fact that you don't have perfect place settings. I don't remember a gathering where I remembered the napkin holders more than the people and the food that was shared.
2. Be authentic. Stop trying to be perfect... til you get to Heaven you are going to fall short every time so give it up! People sense authenticity and quite frankly, its refreshing. You never know when your honesty is going to "give permission" for someone else to not be so hard on themselves. It's amazing how much we compare to one another but if we aren't real, then we're comparing against a version that doesn't exist.
3. Get some friends. Together, we are stronger. We weren't created to do everything on our own. I remember asking my mom how on earth our grandmothers raised so many children in the house without losing their marbles. My mom's first reponse is that they didn't do it alone. We as a culture used to live closer to extended family who would help carry the load and relied on neighbors to "form a village" and support one another. The fact is, that if you try and do it all yourself you are going to burn out. People are genuinely created to want to help, most often we just don't know how to jump in... so let 'em know! Let someone else receive satisfaction for helping you out and in turn, you'll get the break you need.
4. Refresh your courtesy "bucket." We all have one... its that bucket in your heart that gives grace to others that may test your patience, rub you the wrong way, etc. Everyone has their own history and unless we know it all, we have no idea what their story is and why they do what they do. The next person who cuts over at last minute may not, in fact, be a narcisstic jerk but might actually be driving this road for the first time. The neighbor who's dog pooped in your yard may be inside dealing with unruly children, a traveling husband and is at her wit's end... an escaped pooping dog is the least of her concerns at the present moment. (And no, that's not my personal story!) Call it grace...call it courtesy...but we could all give a little more and hope to receive some back.
5. The last one to stew on for today is Sympathy. Yes, it goes with Courtesy but to me, courtesy is choosing "not" to chew someone's head off, tell them their #1 w/ your finger (shame on you!) or any other lack of respect gesture or comment. Sympathy is actually wearing their situation. You know the saying, you haven't walked a mile in their shoes. Well I am here to say that you might benefit from at least trying them on. No, this doesn't mean you sign up for the next season of wife swap, but it does mean you seek to understand what others are going through. Compassion, my friends, is a life-changer. When we stop to find compassion/have sympathy on those around us, those we come into contact with... it gives us a holy perspective that we are all weak and frail. That humility, most often, makes our lives brighten up... not by comparison...but realizing we're not the only one on this earth going through something.
Wishing you the best as you let this soak in. Let me know what you think; which "number" spoke to you the most?
I thought long and hard about the title of my entry... all of about 15 seconds. I was going to title it "10 ideas to change the world," but quite honestly, if I was sitting down with a cup of tea, coffee or wine... I wouldn't want to read how to change the world. It's enough to get a shower, blow dry AND curl my eyelashes... so changing the world? Another day, another season perhaps. So, after weighing out my "go get 'em" persona and my "are you kidding me?" persona...both win. Overwhelmed mom gets the title and my "go get 'em" alter ego gets the content.
The mom in me says its easy to get ourselves into a routine and quite frankly, that routine can be full of mundane and isolating activities. I realized this was the first time in over 30 days I have had time to myself without someone under 52" needing my attention. Still, my toddler is jumping up and down in the crib and I realize, with a slight attitude of defeat, that this means my ambitious afternoon hopes are in serious jeopardy because my little one will be a nightmare without a nap... making our upcoming playdate look more like a scene from a underfunded, understaffed child care center. Oh joy.
So how do we do it... how do we shake up our day, put on a happy face and do more than just "hope" for a happier existence and disposition? I heard these 10 ideas last week and thought I would pass them on... having gone through the "burbs" filter, of course! Chew on these and I'll throw you the other 5 soon!
1. Meet frequently with others. We are created to be in community with other people. No one was supposed to raise children, support and run their household by driving into our garage and shutting the garage door behind us, never to see another soul. Set up people that you can meet with regularly, even if the kiddos are running around outside or in a Starbucks; get in front of the same people on a consistent basis. Set up a potluck dinner group and get over the fact that you don't have perfect place settings. I don't remember a gathering where I remembered the napkin holders more than the people and the food that was shared.
2. Be authentic. Stop trying to be perfect... til you get to Heaven you are going to fall short every time so give it up! People sense authenticity and quite frankly, its refreshing. You never know when your honesty is going to "give permission" for someone else to not be so hard on themselves. It's amazing how much we compare to one another but if we aren't real, then we're comparing against a version that doesn't exist.
3. Get some friends. Together, we are stronger. We weren't created to do everything on our own. I remember asking my mom how on earth our grandmothers raised so many children in the house without losing their marbles. My mom's first reponse is that they didn't do it alone. We as a culture used to live closer to extended family who would help carry the load and relied on neighbors to "form a village" and support one another. The fact is, that if you try and do it all yourself you are going to burn out. People are genuinely created to want to help, most often we just don't know how to jump in... so let 'em know! Let someone else receive satisfaction for helping you out and in turn, you'll get the break you need.
4. Refresh your courtesy "bucket." We all have one... its that bucket in your heart that gives grace to others that may test your patience, rub you the wrong way, etc. Everyone has their own history and unless we know it all, we have no idea what their story is and why they do what they do. The next person who cuts over at last minute may not, in fact, be a narcisstic jerk but might actually be driving this road for the first time. The neighbor who's dog pooped in your yard may be inside dealing with unruly children, a traveling husband and is at her wit's end... an escaped pooping dog is the least of her concerns at the present moment. (And no, that's not my personal story!) Call it grace...call it courtesy...but we could all give a little more and hope to receive some back.
5. The last one to stew on for today is Sympathy. Yes, it goes with Courtesy but to me, courtesy is choosing "not" to chew someone's head off, tell them their #1 w/ your finger (shame on you!) or any other lack of respect gesture or comment. Sympathy is actually wearing their situation. You know the saying, you haven't walked a mile in their shoes. Well I am here to say that you might benefit from at least trying them on. No, this doesn't mean you sign up for the next season of wife swap, but it does mean you seek to understand what others are going through. Compassion, my friends, is a life-changer. When we stop to find compassion/have sympathy on those around us, those we come into contact with... it gives us a holy perspective that we are all weak and frail. That humility, most often, makes our lives brighten up... not by comparison...but realizing we're not the only one on this earth going through something.
Wishing you the best as you let this soak in. Let me know what you think; which "number" spoke to you the most?
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Thank you and Goodnight
That term is always one of my favorites if I've pulled off the one-liner of the evening; "Thank you and goodnight. You've been great, really. Don't forget to tip your waitress." Once reigning as the Queen of wit, I used it often. Of course now, with mommy brain atrophe, its either seldom that I pull a witty comment out of my... ahem, pocket... or, my wit goes completely unnoticed by the trio of boys I share my days with.
It's a funny term though, when you think about it because in so many ways, it implies that we're done. As if we had nothing else to give. When performers use it, it truly is at the end of their act or routine. When I use the term, it's to get more kicks and giggles from my social audience (which probably consists of another couple who have come over for dinner and wine but hey, that is the biggest over-the-age-of-18 audience I may get all week. Of course I'm going to show off!) But for the most part, when someone says it, you know they are done; they won't be coming back unless you clap wildly enough that they come back for one or two more songs, jokes or whatever they charged you entirely too much to witness.
So, without getting too deep, the point is that we all have more than we think within us. This was really tested last week when I went through what felt like a week of "Corporate Wife Bootcamp." The weird thing is, I'm not a rookie when it comes to being at home with the kiddos while Chris travels. In fact, I'm the one offering up advice to newer "corporate wives" which mostly entails me lecturing husbands in front of their wives to "never discuss the exquisitive meal you just ate, the luxury hotel you just checked in to or the quiet flight you just flew on until you are BACK home and have helped out with the kids and the house. Pour your wife a glass of wine, let her sit down and then tell her all about it."
Since I have NO EXPECTATIONS that anyone, including myself, would read a long-wided blog about ANYTHING, let me recap my week, knowing that I will talk about this in more detail down the road:
1. Nolan recovering from broken collar bone.
2. Regan diagnosed with severe sinus infection.
3. Home officially goes on the market.
4. Evan picked up from Bible Study childcare with ruptured eardrum - 90 minute doctor office wait
5. Receive offer on home.
6. Negotiate offer on home. (Oh yes, that is an entirely different line on my list of chaos...its MY list!)
7. Clean home for 3 hours with help to make it "sparkle" for Broker's Open House in case offer falls through.
8. Awaken 5 times in night; 3 toddler wakes, 1 nightmare and a wet bed
8. Stay out of home during toddler's nap time for Open House.
9. Back to doctor; Evan bleeding out ear again and has croup.
10. 4 night wakings; 2 toddler, 1 nightmare and a wet bed. No, not a typo from above. :)
11. Rehabbing a torn deltoid muscle in my shoulder and elbow tendonitis at the same time.
Yeah... MEMORIES!!!!
OK... so the reality is last week really was one for the books. And yes, in case you are wondering...Chris was gone for that list. And this is not to throw my wonderful, loving, amazing husband under the bus... just tellin' you like it is.
The amazing thing about the human spirit, is that we truck on. I didn't die...although I thought I would at times. But here's a cheer to our good God who built us with that sense of "fight or flight" because my body definitely kicked in to both and we got the job done last week. There were so many times I wanted to cry out "Thank you and Good night" yet my body and spirit chugged along with amazing resilience. I would be lying through my 3x braces teeth if I told you that I didn't suffer any implications from the intensity of the week. I broke out with a cold sore (first in 5 years, man those are ugly!,) my body felt as if it got ran over by the UPS truck and I wasn't much more than a lump on the couch on Saturday afternoon. But, we got through it.
So here's my takeaway. Whatever you think you have going on in your life one, know that other people are dodging bullets and you aren't alone. Two, you are going to make it. Just make sure you have some delivery menus nearby, relinquish the thought of all 4 food groups being served at once and press-in to your inner strength. The world wants you to cry "Uncle." You have it in you to give an encore.
Thank you and good night. You've been great. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
It's a funny term though, when you think about it because in so many ways, it implies that we're done. As if we had nothing else to give. When performers use it, it truly is at the end of their act or routine. When I use the term, it's to get more kicks and giggles from my social audience (which probably consists of another couple who have come over for dinner and wine but hey, that is the biggest over-the-age-of-18 audience I may get all week. Of course I'm going to show off!) But for the most part, when someone says it, you know they are done; they won't be coming back unless you clap wildly enough that they come back for one or two more songs, jokes or whatever they charged you entirely too much to witness.
So, without getting too deep, the point is that we all have more than we think within us. This was really tested last week when I went through what felt like a week of "Corporate Wife Bootcamp." The weird thing is, I'm not a rookie when it comes to being at home with the kiddos while Chris travels. In fact, I'm the one offering up advice to newer "corporate wives" which mostly entails me lecturing husbands in front of their wives to "never discuss the exquisitive meal you just ate, the luxury hotel you just checked in to or the quiet flight you just flew on until you are BACK home and have helped out with the kids and the house. Pour your wife a glass of wine, let her sit down and then tell her all about it."
Since I have NO EXPECTATIONS that anyone, including myself, would read a long-wided blog about ANYTHING, let me recap my week, knowing that I will talk about this in more detail down the road:
1. Nolan recovering from broken collar bone.
2. Regan diagnosed with severe sinus infection.
3. Home officially goes on the market.
4. Evan picked up from Bible Study childcare with ruptured eardrum - 90 minute doctor office wait
5. Receive offer on home.
6. Negotiate offer on home. (Oh yes, that is an entirely different line on my list of chaos...its MY list!)
7. Clean home for 3 hours with help to make it "sparkle" for Broker's Open House in case offer falls through.
8. Awaken 5 times in night; 3 toddler wakes, 1 nightmare and a wet bed
8. Stay out of home during toddler's nap time for Open House.
9. Back to doctor; Evan bleeding out ear again and has croup.
10. 4 night wakings; 2 toddler, 1 nightmare and a wet bed. No, not a typo from above. :)
11. Rehabbing a torn deltoid muscle in my shoulder and elbow tendonitis at the same time.
Yeah... MEMORIES!!!!
OK... so the reality is last week really was one for the books. And yes, in case you are wondering...Chris was gone for that list. And this is not to throw my wonderful, loving, amazing husband under the bus... just tellin' you like it is.
The amazing thing about the human spirit, is that we truck on. I didn't die...although I thought I would at times. But here's a cheer to our good God who built us with that sense of "fight or flight" because my body definitely kicked in to both and we got the job done last week. There were so many times I wanted to cry out "Thank you and Good night" yet my body and spirit chugged along with amazing resilience. I would be lying through my 3x braces teeth if I told you that I didn't suffer any implications from the intensity of the week. I broke out with a cold sore (first in 5 years, man those are ugly!,) my body felt as if it got ran over by the UPS truck and I wasn't much more than a lump on the couch on Saturday afternoon. But, we got through it.
So here's my takeaway. Whatever you think you have going on in your life one, know that other people are dodging bullets and you aren't alone. Two, you are going to make it. Just make sure you have some delivery menus nearby, relinquish the thought of all 4 food groups being served at once and press-in to your inner strength. The world wants you to cry "Uncle." You have it in you to give an encore.
Thank you and good night. You've been great. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
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